What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Everything you try to avoid about yourself will keep playing out insidiously in your life. This creates the perfect opportunity for you to embrace, love and heal this part of yourself . Melanie Tonia Evans Author and women's self empowerment teacher Today it just dawned on me I have been on this new life path for a year now. Last year I packed up "everything" and took a leap of faith and here I am one year later. It's been quite a ride! I have spent a lot of time with myself, literally. There were days that I just spent time with myself, thinking, learning, questioning. And I would not change a single thing. I've learnt soooooo much over the past year, been to quite a few countries and met some phenomenal women and people. I learnt about receiving with grace, about miracles, they actually do happen! who my real friends are, I have some awesome awesome buddies! I've learnt about spirituality, how positive thinking and affirmations work, what  are my non-n...

You’re the most important meaning maker in your life. You determine the meaning that comes from something; it then becomes a reality to you. Choose a meaning that makes you more effective. Tony Robbins Best selling author   When you are all over the place it seems that its difficult to get things done! I have learnt that for me its best to put all of my energy into one thing, do it well and then move on to the next task! When there is no order, there is no clarity and things fall through the cracks. Order, I have also learnt is a spiritual principle, it gives structure to life. Without structure there is chaos!    So What did I learn today? As of NOW it’s all about F.O.C.U.S: Focus (on my intention) Open (my heart) Create (my vision) Understand (that all is well) and Surrender ( to the process) , according to Deepak Chopra “ Now is the moment that never ends”. Peace!!

Subtract from your thoughts those things that are unnecessary and unproductive. Surrender everything that could be harmful to yourself or another. Eliminate every thought or emotion that does not bring more peace, joy or love into your experience. Iyanla (a boss teacher!!!) I'm on a train from Coventry to Manchester this morning and I am reading a book called Tapping the Power Within and its just throwing out some home truths to me in a way that is touching my soul!!! The whole premise is about affirming what you desire and speaking from your power. I've learnt that Power is YOU and the only time you don't have power is when you BELIEVE that you don't have it! Call forth the thing you desire and make sure that your behaviour is in alignment with what you call forth! How many times have we said we want something or don't want something and we act totally contrary to what we say we want or don't want? Confusing the Universe, that's what I'm doing whe...

We cannot be of service to humanity if we continue to allow others to pull us down into the lower vibrational energy of confusion, chaos, denial, limited beliefs, addiction and drama. We need to pull ourselves out of denial and be really honest with ourselves and ask if our current relationships are based on love or fear. If they are based in fear, you will need to love yourself enough to disengage from anything that is dis-empowering and does not serve your highest good. E xpaned Consciousness I have been paying attention to the whispers of my Intuition and to the Universe, I've learnt that the Universe doesn't censor what we say it just responds and this is why it is important that we choose our words wisely and speak from our power not our fear and limited beliefs. I have been looking at the relationships in my life which ones are based out of fear and I've learnt that when your ego runs things these relationships continue until the lesson becomes a tough one. I ask...

And today the feeling felt the most is that of grateful appreciation for every moment that is stationed within a memory or vision. O ne doesn't have to reach for that which is destined to become. One doesn't have prevent that which is divinely done. Exhale. Intuition is morse code privately delivered to the soul. Some messages are delivered simply for the receiver to know. Inhale. And worry not of the power of thoughts other than one's own. As believe it or not, what one worries about are seeds that are self sown. Meditate. Elevate. Radiate. Be - The Floacist, Poet (I love her!!!!!!!) One of the absolute best pieces of advice I received was "Be grateful something every single day" She said to me keep a journal and write down something that you are grateful  for every single day and see how your outlook on life changes! I took that advice and it sure does make a fat lot of difference to how I view things and people! I am grateful for so much things in my life ...

You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in life is the relationship to self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose . Jo Courdet What did I learn today? Standing is not only a physical move. Stand up!! I’ve learnt   today that If I had to, I could stand with my feet cut off, If I had to, I can stand if I’m flat on the ground. It’s a MIND SET! How you’re gonna flow if you’re in your way? Stand Up! Stand up every time you fall down, stand up even if you’re small you can still stand up tall. Lesson Learnt before, there’s nothing more powerful than a made up mind. Encourage yourself, Everyone don’t have to pat you on the back, sometimes everybody with you can’t keep up with you, they have a different mindset and that's ok. Don’t feel guilty say bless you and Encourage yourself. Stand Up! TD Jakes say’s it best “Some people get beaten by the battle some ...

Faith is the power to stand up to the madness and chaos of the physical world while holding the position that nothing external has any authority over what heaven has in mind for you.” - Caroline Myss , American medical intuitive & best-selling author. Everyday is a mystery! You just never know what's going to happen do you? Neale Donald Walsh says "life is delighted in bringing you the unexpected" the question is are you delighted to receive the unexpected? I've learnt that the response is what's key, we can view the unexpected in fear or in faith knowing that Spirit's got your back! I choose the faith route This year has been a year of unexpected! I had my plans well the Universe looked at it and chuckled! Today was another unexpected turn, I have five more weeks left here before I embark on my African journey and I now have to shift and move again because of the circumstances that came up today and its all good! I've learnt that I have now dec...

Every time our unconscious is working something out, it calls into our lives the people who have within the pieces of the answer we are seeking. Martin Schulman A Course in Miracles says there are no coincidences in life, every person that you meet, every circumstances that you encounter is designed for either teaching or learning. I now truly believe this. How many "random" people have you met over time who have either become really great friends or your biggest teachers! People who particularly push your buttons, they come to teach you something, I've learnt to pay attention. Pay attention or miss the lesson and guess what? when you miss the lesson it keeps repeating and many times you make it harder than it is supposed to be!! Let go or be dragged!! So what did I learn today? Nurture and grow your relationships. People are your greatest resource. Make everyone your mentor and learn from everyone you know. Never question intent. You can question be...

Ask yourself, who am I being right now that someone feels they have permission to misbehave in your life? Iyanla Yesterday I was watching a programme called Iyanla Fix My Life. This programme seemed like it was just made for me and was putting down some home truths! Brutually honest. She was talking about knowing who you are, setting boundaries and taking responsibility for what is going on in your own life. It really resonated with me because in my marriage I did none of those things far less for when it was going off the rails. I set no boundaries and allowed anything to happen and in doing so I disrespected and dishonoured myself. I learnt now that I did that because I was afraid, making decisions out of fear. Fear of losing the man, the life, of being alone! The same thing happened with my job, just letting people run amok and not being my authentic true self because of fear. Guess what? it all came crashing down, lost the entire package! And back then I was a hot mess but n...

  The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone. Orison Marden What did I learn today? Until and unless you know you are enough just the way you are, you will continue to look for more. You will sell off pieces and parts of yourself in an attempt to get more and do more, hoping that it will make you feel like more. Knowing that you are enough is a function of consciousness. Your enough-ness unfolds and develops in direct proportion to your authentic identity. Until you wholeheartedly believe in your own value, worth and worthiness, in spite of your accomplishments, your possessions, or lack thereof, there will be a void in your Spirit. Peace!!

This force, which is the best thing in you, your highest self, will never respond to any ordinary half-hearted call, or any milk-and-water endeavor, It can only be reached by your supremest call, your supremest effort. It will respond only to the call that is backed up by the whole of you, not part of you; you must be all there in what you are trying to do. You must bring every particle of your energy, unanswerable resolution, your best efforts, your persistent industry to your task or the best will not come out of you. You must back up your ambition by your whole nature, by unbounded enthusiasm and a determination to win which knows no failure... Only a masterly call, a masterly will, a supreme effort, intense and persistent application, can unlock the door to your inner treasure and release your highest powers." - Orison Swett Marden , was an American writer associated with the New Thought Movement. There are times when you just know that you are out of order, when you ar...

When you don’t know how, take it upon yourself to learn. When you’re not sure what to do, work through your choices and your priorities until you’re able to aim your focus in a specific direction. Ralph Marston As part of the journey, I have come across the giver and the taker, and this is not to place   judgement but to   recognise it as it arises and take positive action! So what did I learn? Takers do exactly that – they Take. They unconsciously view life as something to get something from. Often motivated by greed, Takers find it difficult to embrace the view that life is an integrated ecosystem and that Earth is a living creature. Takers walk into a relationship and situation with this mindset, “What’s in this for me?” Takers are easily disappointed in life and in relationships. Often they expect “life” to produce something for them, effortlessly. Givers strive to make a difference in the lives of others. Meaning and purpose are gravity centers for ...

Most people do not realize that as they continue to find things to complain about, they disallow their own physical well-being. Many do not realize that before they were complaining about an aching body or a chronic disease, they were complaining about many other things first. It does not matter if the object of your complaint is about someone you are angry with, behavior in others that you believe is wrong, or something wrong with your own physical body. Complaining is complaining, and it disallows improvement." - Esther Hicks , best-selling author and speaker. Someone asked me last week why I was always so positive? I had to think about it for a second because I never really thought about myself as being "so always positive" Its just how I choose to view things having learnt so much from some amazing women throughout my travels and also it just feels so much better to not be depressed! I will never forget one piece of advice that I received which is tell you...

You are not separate from your hopes and dreams, you are only separate from knowing that they are real and the only truth your soul knows. You can't buy into fear and fuly realise  your highest potential;it only comes from love and service - Jackson Kiddard Author Guys, dreams do come true and let me tell you it feels pretty awesome when they do!! But I've learnt that you have to put the work in , you have to be focused and you have to do it in love! I have always wanted to work with women serving in a big way and changing lives, this is becoming a reality next month when I move out to East Africa and boy oh boy it only happened when I surrendered fear based thoughts! It wasn't without its challenges and I know that more challenges will come. I'm ready! So I've learnt that dreams do come true, that what you dream about is a fraction of what God has in mind for you! I've learnt that love and gratitude are really keys that open doors, and that those who are fo...

A belief is only a thought you continue to think. A belief is nothing more than a chronic pattern of thought, and you have the ability -if you try even a little bit- to begin a new pattern, to tell a new story, to achieve a different vibration, to change your point of attraction." - Esther Hicks , best-selling author and speaker I love the advice given by Caroline Myss, she has a way of "keeping it real" in a way that what one of my friends call being just brutally honest. She asks how do you measure success?, do you measure it as the "world" does - personal comfort and security, things you have/own, the universe measures success by how much we have learned. And the choice for lesson sometimes is up to you.You make it as tough or easy sometimes. One thing I've learnt is that when your intuition speaks to you, listen! when I try to add logic to the intuitive guidance that's when the lesson becomes harder. The head rationalises and intution is ...

The work to be done is in you, on your consciousness, not in the other person [or situation]. You must change your thoughts. Rev. Eric Butterworth In the midst of a heap of awesomeness going on in my life I started having some serious negative thoughts! What ifs started getting a space in my head, then I remembered thoughts are things and they usually manifest itself in reality so I made the decision to change my thoughts! Changing my thoughts have become easier over time, I let them come in my head and I observe them and say thanks for coming now its time for you to leave!! Then I replace it with something positive, try it! So what did I learn today? There is nothing more powerful than a made up mind!! My thoughts determine my reality and every thought I think, every word I speak is a call to the Universe and guess what? They Universe always says yes! Be careful what you call for! Peace!!  

When you find yourself in a new situation, everything that requires healing will rush to the surface if you don’t take a minute, take a pause you will do what you have always done and get the result you always got – Pause! Take a Breath! Then Move - Iyanla Its been a few days! I've been on a plane for the last twelve hours and then settling in! I have been designing a programme for Women's Economic Empowerment through Entrepreneurship and pretty excited about it and hearing the feedback, I love to learn and that's my aim in the next few days! So keeping it short and sweet peeps What did I learn? I dwell in possibility!! What story would you like to live? Woe is me or an epic one? Do you have the guts, balls, strength, courage, determination, patience and faith to live it? As you grow and develop everyone and everything in your environment will respond accordingly! Very often things and people will fall away from you. Resist the urge to hold on. Know that you can...

Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human." - Anthony Robbins. Robbins is a best selling self help author, motivational speaker, and advisor to many world leaders and sports professionals How do you feel when you are about to do something for the first time? Something that scares the bejesus out of you? so much so that you've found reasons, infact not reason but excuses to prolong doing it? Procrastinating I've learnt is a form of fear! This feeling of fear I've learnt is to use as an ally not an enemy. If your dreams don't get you butterflies in your stomach it's not big enough. Do something so awesome that ...

The greatest act of courage is to be and to own all of who you are—without apology, without   excuses, without masks to cover the truth of who you are .—Debbie Ford I was listening to David Rudder on random selection yesterday, I like his music a lot!! Anyways, the song came on and it's not like I haven't heard the song like a trillion times but somehow it felt like the first time when the lyric belted out " You walk with with your masquerade but you still wear another, what's the one that is truly you? Behind your mask is your centre, don't you ever leave once you enter, just see yourself and don't you be afraid" I started thinking about all the masks that we feel that we must wear depending on the situation that we find ourselves in, quite tiring at times. The mask at work, at the gym, with the neighbours- phew! One can forget who one really is!! I've learnt that being authentic is power, its freedom, who's supposed to be on the bus with you...

I want to remind us all that the world is listening, all the time. How we are ripples out from us into the world and affects others. We have a responsibility - an ability to respond - to the world. Finding our particular way of living this responsibility, of offering who we are to the world, is why we are here. We are called because the world needs us to embody the meaning in our lives. God needs us awake. The world we live in is a co-creation, a manifestation of individual consciousness woven into a collective dream. How we are with each other as individuals, as groups, as nations and tribes, is what shapes that dream." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer , author & poet. I was thinking about all the different people and personalities that I have encountered and as much as we are all different I've learnt that we are really all the same. I found myself drawn into a discussion on "the way we do things at home" and I found myself really unconsciously trying to make ...

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want." Margaret Young , was a popular singer and comedienne in the United States in the 1920s.  I was in Juba which is on the border of Uganda and South Sudan I began to think about all the things that I have that I have been stressing about. My house, my car, a new laptop. I got out of the car and walked to the back of the farm where the office is and they greeted me as family. After all the pleasantries I asked where can I charge by phone? Well you can charge it here on Wednesday no problem! I was like did she just say Wednesday? but today is Friday. I asked what do you mean? She said well the power is scheduled to be back on Wednesday so just be ready! all excited and ple...

Awake, You greet another day with the choices that you make, Decide what you will leave, decide what you will take, Decisions are the key to release what you don’t need If you gonna let it be, then you have to let it be! The Floacist. Poet I was thinking about surrender today, what does it mean, I looked up a definition and the definition states " it is the ability to achieve mental and emotional release. Acknowledgement of the power of spiritual activity. An act of acceptance" In making a decision about how to move forward I have chosen to surrender and that means giving up the fear, worry and anxiety. You see, I truly believe that I have done everything that I could have humanly done so what else is there to do but surrender? So what did I learn? So when I surrender, I mentally go to the end, through the thing that I fear, which in effect releases fear thoughts from my mind. It helps me to realise that no matter what happens, I will be able to handle it. Surren...

The only way to have peace in a relationship is to know how to butter your own bread. - Ra-Ha I wanted to share this, if it resonates great, if it doesn't take what and leave the rest! If you are in a relationship that causes you imbalance and anguish, get out. If you are in a relationship that does not support you or lowers your energy,leave it alone. If you are in a relationship where you give more than you get, where what you give is not respected, where the security you seek is costing you peace of mind, you've got nothing to lose - so leave. We come together in relationships to grow, not live in misery. Our relationships should be sustaining, energizing and growth supporting. When they are not, our growth is stunted, our energy is depleted and our personality distorted. A solid, loving, supporting relationship is like a shot of life. It is a source of inspiration, it provides a spark of motivation to encourage you to onto the highest evolution of your selfhood. ...

When you have self-love, you no longer live your life according to other people's opinions. You don't need other people to accept you or tell you how good you are because you know what you are." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz She asked me " Do you keep the agreements you make with yourself?" Of course I had to think about that for a moment. So you make agreements with yourself and then you proceed to break them and expect to either keep agreements with other people or for people to keep agreements with you!? Interesting. Making a comittment to yourself is important it builds self trust and and once you trust yourself then you can trust others, trust is a simple process. You either trust or you don't! and you build trust by doing what you say you will do, keeping the committments to yourself. So what did I learn today? If you don't trust yourself how will you experience the peace of doing the best thing versus the never ending anxiety of only ever being afraid of...

Don’t figure out how to put it off until later. Use your energy and intelligence and time to get it done now. Let go of the urge to complain about how things are. Remind yourself that you can make things better, and challenge yourself in each moment to do just that. There’s no need to be dismayed at how hard it will be. Choose instead to be enthusiastic about how much of a real difference you can make.  W hat really matters is not what’s pushing against you. What matters is how how authentically  committed you are to moving forward. Ralph Marston I truly believe in being in the present moment, I say it all the time - Now is all I got! I've learnt that being present, being in the moment, focusing on now is a sure way of releasing stress! When I find myself thinking about what I have to do, what I didn't do yet I remind myself that no one promised me tomorrow so focus on the moment. It is really a feeling of freedom. I can choose to focus on what I have to do, or ...

Do not worry about how you will make it all work. Just focus on how you feel and go towards those things that bring forth joy. When you are living in your joy, the Universe is living joyfully through you. When you are living a life of fear, the Universe is dying and becoming smaller. Remember you are a child of the Universe and everything the Universe provides is abundant. The sun shines rays of joy, the bird sings a song of joy, the tree joyfully grows to provide shade and keep the air clean. Everything has a purpose and when we are living in our joyful purpose we will be supported because the Universe loves joy. It takes a little bit of time to go from fear to joy, but if you stay steady and keep the course you will at last come to see that your joy can be your reality. Trust in promise of joy, it is your birthright." - Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath. Over the past couple of weeks I have had to make decisions on my next journey, my next step. Usually I just jump i...

In order for us to move forward with our journey into healing and wholeness, we may need to release relationships that are holding us back from reaching our highest soul’s potential. Each of us will know in our hearts which relationships have had their time. Set your intention to learn the lessons these people have reflected to you and love yourself enough to give yourself the space you need to bring yourself back into alignment with your highest good. Stay focused on your healing knowing that the relationships that are meant to be a part of your life will be there effortlessly, naturally and lovingly .  Sabina Reber Don't we always know the time to let go? Don't we always really know when the lesson has been learnt and its time to make way for new? Why don't we act like we know?  They say when you know better you do better.We try to force it, to hang on, and what happens, crap hits the fan. I've learnt to let go or be dragged! When a season is over, it is over, ...