What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Most people are dying from ignorance Hosea 4:6 Road trip time again. I heard about the Kingdom of Buganda so I wanted to see it for myself. Got in the car and started asking for directions. I stopped in a petrol station and asked. Should have learnt from the last trip right? “ Madam, you will not find it on your own” Why not? “because it is not an easy place to find, it is tricky, very many turns”. Ok then, thank you! “Madam wait, 5,000 will get you an escort to the Kingdom of Buganda” Hmm, wow! Ok then let’s do it. I had a Boda Boda escort me to the Kingdom (too funny) I get there and they said to me “Madam there will be no shorts allowed we will wrap you with this piece of cloth” they wrap me up and I enter the Kingdom beautiful views, a “castle” which is not really maintained that well, 250 acres they tell me. Then the guy says I will take you to the Torture Chambers. Eh?? Yes madam this is where Idi Amin’s torture chambers were, we walk down a hill turn left and I enter i...

Quit obsessing over what you need. Direct your focus and attention and energy toward what you can do.   Ralph Martson(motivational speaker) Yesterday I did another adventurous road trip, I wanted to find a book store and do some research for my upcoming assignment in January where I will spend most of my time in Northern Uganda. This area has recently come out of a twenty year conflict with some of the most heart wrenching stories I have ever heard. I get to the bookshop, which is quite good I must add, and sat down reading through some of the accounts of the women who were involved in the conflict. Over 44% of the child soldiers abducted were young girls trained to kill from the age of fourteen, to be wives of soldiers and baby making machines for them as well! One thing struck me with an account that I read. She escaped and vowed to put aside what she “needed” to ensure that she did all than she can to help the others who did not escape. What an absolute here on my eyes...

Ask yourself in the situation 1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it ’ s true?   3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 4. Who would you be without the thought? Byron Katie author I absolutely love Byron Katie’s work; I have learnt so many lessons from her and her experiences.   Many times I have found myself running with a thought or a story without considering anything but my ego! Now I ask myself the questions, is it true? And who would I be without the thought? Usually it’s not true or I don’t know for sure if it is and I am a happy camper without the thought! So instead of me hopelessly trying to change the world to match my thoughts about how it “should” be, I can question these thoughts and, by meeting reality as it is, experience a state of peace and as we say in Trinidad , “don’t fight up” So from this I have changed my “should’s” and I have stopped stressing about people “shoulding” on me! I’ve learnt that when you argue w...

'While we measure our own success in terms of personal comfort and security, the universe measures our success by how much we have learned.' Caroline Myss The year is coming to an end, at this time I always look forward and set goals for the upcoming year and look at all the lessons that I have learnt over the year. I must admit this year was one of immense lessons, the biggest ones being to act in love and not in fear and to release my ego, check the ego at he door! It is so easy to look back at what you didn’t do, didn’t achieve, didn’t get and where does that get you? How does it make you feel? Some people may be even more motivated to try harder and achieve more, others it leaves them in a heap feeling like they have not done what they were supposed to do! Me I have learnt that all things are lessons and I view it as that. When a lesson is not grasped it will keep showing up until I get it. Carolyn Myss says it very well, she says you can learn through pain or not, y...

As we move toward the end of the life cycle we know as 2012, check your internal energy system, release negative energy, de-stress your communication and tap into the power of your heart. Iyanla Vanzant   I drove about eight hours to get to the area. I went with an open mind as promised myself I would for my time here on this journey. When I got to the gate I asked how much further? Another two hours! Africa is bloody huge!! They wanted to show me different accommodation options, first one, wow a campsite, tents everywhere! No thank you very politely I’ve learnt that I am latrine intolerant, second one mud huts on a site, no thank you the “bathroom” was like ten minutes walk away, suppose I bump into a buffalo chillin! Third one absolutely took my breath away! One of the most beautiful places I’ve seen! Nile Safari Lodge! Madam what time will you shower?” This is before I see the showers eh. I say I don’t know whenever I am ready. But Madam we need to prepare the water. Yo...

Life requires faith, boldness and courage to step into the unknown - Mastin Kipp Tomorrow morning I head to the Kidepo National Valley Park on safari, I spend my Christmas there with the lions, elephants and what ever other animal I am priveledged to see!! I am looking forward to the lessons to be learnt on that journey! I may be offline for a few days I am not sure what sort of facilities are available out there Wishing each and every one of you big blessings for the season and thank you for your comments and eyes on the journey thus far!!! See you on the other side! Peace!!!

To have a really good life means sticking with something long enough to see if it works for you, admitting when it doesn't, moving on without fear or anger and exacting the blessings from the lessons, because you know that every lesson is a blessing . Iyanla Vanzant , author and motivational speaker (absolute boss ) Tomorrow is my last training session for 2012, it will be held in Kampala. After this everyone goes back to their various districts and villages until next year. I am looking forward to it as I learn so much from these sessions.  Every training session must include a component on gender and gender sensitivity. With different cultures I see how gender is perceived.  There are some totally radical participants who believe that women are only meant for certain roles and duties. It is interesting to see after the sessions whether they have a different point of view. I've  learnt that I am not here to change anyone’s minds, to judge or condemn. I've...

“ Quit telling your I about what your ME cannot do. Quit telling your I what your ME did or what it wants to do. Flip the switch; let your ME listen for a while. Be still. Hush” Deborah L. Johnson, author Yesterday was an adventure for me, no meat eating person. Haven’t touched the stuff for over 20 years! Being a vegetarian here is an adventure all by itself, they simply do not understand why I would refuse meat, “something must be wrong with you madam” So we go to eat something yesterday and as I pull into the compound I see about twenty cows, by the way, those things are HUGE!! About fifteen goats and the smell hits me!! I see birds, vultures, that are almost as large as me, makes the corbeaux that I know back home look like a pigeon! Ok, this is me talking to myself, open mind and willing spirit, you can do this, stay here, stay well!! Just as I convinced myself  the bird flies just in front of me collects a part of the cow and I let out a loud scream, they laugh! ...

Make your choice, and then make the commitment to make it happen. Make your choice, and then make all the other choices along the way that will bring it about.Take a positive, active role in your life. Make peace with what is, with what you have, and then make your choice of what to do with it all. Ralph Marston, motivational speaker Saturday is the last training session for the year, when it’s done everyone will go back to their villages and areas until next year when it kicks off again. The vision for 2013 is HUGE, it is also made clear, as I mentioned before you spend five minutes with her and you can almost touch it, you can see it. The achievers in this world are dreamers who are strong enough to take when people call them crazy. So here’s the deal we increase the women’s income and standard of living through the farming, research and training and we benefit because what you give, you receive, what you sow you reap. That’s the law. Use it for anything in your life and se...

Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune but great minds rise above them .Washington Irvine Author What’s the vision and dream in you?  Have you been nurturing this or constantly trying to silence the voice? Catch this, it WILL NOT go away. Those whispers turn into screams if you don’t pay attention. Yesterday I was speaking with the leader of this great project we were discussing our last training session for the year to be held on Saturday, when you speak to her ,her vision and dreams are clear, within five minutes you get it. She can articulate it in such a way that you can even smell it, even if it sounds at first like the most bizarre and unrealistic thing you have ever heard. In her mind, it is done it is just a matter of execution. No fear, confidence and self belief is a given. Now how awesome and inspiring is that? Walk with your vision. Your vision will propel you forward! Trust the process. That is not to say that it will be easy, no sah! But you kn...

We imagine there to be all sorts of things that are separate from each other, and we play out this imagining in our moment-to-moment experience. We think that there is something "other than" our Divine Self, and that WE ARE PART OF THAT. The idea of Separation is the biggest single stumbling block to our living the lives of peace, harmony and happiness for which we say we have dreamed. I would never treat the earth, or my possessions, and certainly not other people, the way that I do if I thought that those people and those things were me, and I was them. If I thought I was doing to myself what I do to others, many -- perhaps most -- of my behaviours would fall away . Neale Donald Walsh author Being in Uganda I have had the opportunity to learn so many different things based on what I have experienced so far, the people I have met and the things that I have had the privilege of getting involved in, It is a totally different experience to Trinidad and Tobago and the U...

If our circumstances tempt us to think thoughts such as “ I must not be good enough” “I will never have another chance” “ it will take forever for this to right itself” or “I have whoever to blame for this” then miracles, although they are programmed into the nature of the Universe cannot make their way into our awareness. With every thought we think we either summon or block a miracle . Marianne Williamson author When you start a project, a job, anything how do you think about it? Do you think that ah let me just do it for the heck of it? Do you feel confident that it will work out no matter the outcome? Conversations about how I will complete this task here have been popping up daily and the best thing I learnt is you cannot start something thinking that it doesn’t work! You have to start with the belief that it will work and work from there. I thought about that yesterday. All the great inventors started off with the belief that what they were working on would succeed, let’s go...

There's no escaping yourself. You're ‘stuck on the train of yourself’ without any way off, so you may as well learn to love you, create an amazing life and make the most of it ! Melanie Tonia Evans, Life Coach Being here on this project, everyday is a not just a lesson but a true transformation of my consciousness. I am now a believer that anything is possible and blaming others for my predicament is a total waste of time and giving away my power.  I am asking a question yesterday about how we are going to achieve a goal set out for 2013 given the “facts” Here’s what I learnt, and I absolutely love this lesson because I can see it happening with me with the simplest of things .Don’t keep looking for facts to give you faith! Facts will trip you up! Do not judge by the appearances! Don’t look to the facts only for what you need to know! You gotta go deep inside! Pay attention!! Pay attention there are ALWAYS signs!! If you don’t pay attention you will miss the signs. Pa...

Free will means you can think whatever you want to think. You cannot however make untrue what is true or true what is untrue. The Universe is set up to work on your behalf. From a mind filled with infinite love comes the power to create infinite possibilities . (Marianne Williamson, best selling author) Here’s a lesson from yesterday which to me was a totally PD moment (when the penny dropped and I got it!). Gratitude is about NOW! So what does that mean? Well, the way I interpreted it was that just because I have received good and blessings in the past it does not stop there and I do not have to beg for more good things to come, it’s coming. Give thanks for blessings that are coming too numerous to count. I also interpreted it as to give thanks for what I have right now, not hoping and wishing and wanting for what I do not have or do not see without focusing on the blessings that are ever present in front of me, taking it for granted. Truth be told, as soon as I started giv...

Sometimes we fight to remain the same, until a moment of vulnerability where we pray for change. Be sure to remember to let go of what no longer needs to be held. It's a balancing game. Align self every day. Natalie Stewart ( ah boss poet!) At base yesterday I’m inside listening to some home truths! I just love all the wisdom that I get when I pay attention, you just never know where your lessons and blessings will come from and that’s why I do my best to pay attention. I am hearing laughter outside and festive chatter, I thought ok cooking or eating is taking place. They come and present me with the “goodies” well wowee I take one look at it and my first reaction was “Yuk, no way, no thanks, no sah, oh geed” then I see their response and I remember I made a commitment to myself to keep an open mind and a willing spirit. This one was a toughie, grasshoppers???? The dish was grasshoppers all fried and looking up at me! Hmmmm I said to myself ok let me remember in Trinidad we ...

Get rid of them! Kick your fears, excuses and reasons for procrastinating to the curb. It's time to act boldly on your own behalf! Decide to live a larger life! Refuse to play small or safe. This is not a game. It's your life. Stop trying to please everybody else, and make their life better. You can serve others best when you are centered, and live a happy life!! Les Brown Motivational speaker and author The disease to please. I was struck down by that affliction for a long time, just chronic! But I’m better now! The cure? Just be your authentic self! Show up as yourself every single time and do YOU! This is not an excuse to be an A-Hole and treat anyone with disrespect or use it as an excuse for doing anything you like without consequences. It’s basically saying act like you know the truth, do what feeds and nurtures your soul and listen to your gut every single time. One of the best lessons I have learnt is that you cannot give from an empty cup. How can you give anyt...

“ We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about.” ― Joseph Campbell ( author and just ah boss teacher!!) I have been thrown in on the deep end of a farming culture, hearing new terminologies, seeing the beauty and awe of what Mother Nature produces and also seeing the flip side where climate change can wreak havoc on the environment. So unconsciously I say “I am not a farmer” in speaking and this is what I learnt today You are a farmer, your thoughts are the seeds you plant; they are the cause of every condition in your life. Your success, health, wealth and all your relationships are the fruits of the seeds you have planted. Just as a farmer gets rid of weeds to allow better harvest, get rid of the weeds of doubt, fear, ego criticisms and judgement of yourself and others. Clear your mind (land) of moaning, whining and blaming other farmers for the...

Real strength is not the absence of weaknesses or fear. It’s not the absence of doubt or anger. Real strength includes all of these emotions. It’s when you’re afraid and risking something, not when you’re afraid or risking something. When you see someone as a person with no weakness, you deny her her full humanity. Nobody goes through life never being afraid, and never doubting, and never being angry. Ayana Mathis Author of the Twelve tribes of Hattie   Someone asked me how I got the strength to make the decision to be here all alone. I was caught by surprise for a moment because I never for once thought that it was a decision based on “strength” or that I am all alone! I just believed that it was an opportunity that I could not refuse and being with myself always feels very normal. Having thought about it for a moment, I made a commitment to myself in 2011 that I will always act with courage despite how scared I am because what’s the worst that can happen? I end up where ...

When you stop needing more of everything, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. Since you're detached from the need for it, you find it easier to pass it along to others, because you realize how little you need in order to be satisfied and at peace . Wayne Dyer author First day of me driving myself in Kampala! Jumped in the car, said to myself, you can do this! Kitikodogo in tow and I hit the road! Felt good! Embarking upon this journey, I have learnt about the difference between needing and wanting. I have also learnt that when you ask certain questions the Universe responds and you better be ready for the answers even though you may not like or understand it. I can say without any reservations whatsoever that I have every thing I need. It may not look that way by normal standards but I do, I get by very well and I am extremely happy. The stress begins when you start telling yourself, I need this and I need that! If you don't have it right now, trust me y...

Love and appreciation are identical vibrations. Appreciation is the vibration of alignment with who-you-are. Appreciation is the absence of everything that feels bad and the presence of everything that feels good. When you focus upon what you want – ;when you tell the story of how you want your life to be – you will come closer and closer to the vicinity of appreciation, and when you reach it, it will pull you toward all things that you consider to be good in a very powerful way.” - Esther Hicks , is a best-selling motivational speaker and author Saturday morning in Kampala, sun is shining the weather is sweet! I am renewed and rearing to go after two days “down time”. Saturday is a working day in Kampala so I at base to see what action is happening and take in the lessons and learning! Today also is when they let me loose on the roads of Kampala, I will be driving solo from this afternoon with Kitikodogo in hand, just in case! I was reading something yesterday that said “we ...

STAND UP! You have the power of queens in your blood. The sacredness of the eagles in your bones .The fierceness of warriors in your genes. The wisdom of grandmothers is in the recesses of your mind, accessible to you through the energy of spirit. Iyanla Vanzant   OK, brutally honest, I didn’t make it to the end of the workshop. I started feeling very ill and was throwing up and going to the loo (thank heavens I was in the land of flushing toilets!!!) I left and came home and went straight to bed. While I was in bed something came into my mind that I read in the Course of Miracles, the Course says some illnesses come about due to your inability to face the truth, a rebellion of sorts, an illusion! They say a lot more about it but just to say what came into my mind and right there and then I understood it. I did not want to hear or face all that I heard over the past two days; I blocked it out, feeling helpless. But I learnt that “there are no victims here” and I am the mean...

"Ever since time began man has searched for his heaven, sometimes seeking it in the reflection of his neighbour's blood" David Rudder, Heaven   Compassion! Today was my roughest day since I arrived I was literally feeling ill. I am on a 3 day workshop on farming as a tool for women’s economic empowerment. So I am listening to the word from the street or should I say village! The women were “taken”. I wouldn’t use that word but hey it’s not my story! So yeah they were “taken” by the soldiers, raped with the intention of making/birthing more soldiers ok? (That was the rationale and strategic plan behind being “taken”). So now that the conflict is over they have now come back to the village and have been told to go away and find somewhere else because they are dirty or a shame to the community or other reasons. What in the bloody hell can I say to them eh? They want a better life and want training to get jobs and the way the story is being told it’s like so matter of ...

"People talk about the reality of their life as if it is important. And we want you to understand, it's only the temporary indicator. Do you go to the gas station-your gas gauge is on empty-do you go to the gas station and look at your gas gauge in horror? "How did this happen? Why, why, why did this happen to me?" Do you lay your head on the steering wheel and just sob? "Oh, look what it's come to. I'm finished. I've lived all of this life, and look where I am." Or do you just fill up?" - Esther Abraham-Hicks , is a best-selling author and motivational speaker! Stuff happens that go contrary to what you want many times and I've learnt that a lot of times it is just me trying to prove to me and the "world" that I am good enough! But I have now realised that I have nothing to prove to anyone not even myself! How awesome is that? I want to prove to myself that I have financial discipline, that I am a nice person, that I ha...

“Every relationship is the relationship you need at that time. Everything you do in every relationship have prepared you and beings you closer to the grand experience of total, unconditional self love and love for others”   from the book In the Meantime. “Why do you spend so much time alone?” ok here we go again. That question came up before and I cannot remember what my response was but this time it was “please don’t take it personally” it has nothing to do with the place or the people who are all lovely. But we don’t understand, all you do is go to work and watch football all weekend, you need to go out some more and see the place, meet new people, we will organise for you to meet some people and madam you go out!! My standard response, thank you, it’s quite all right. So I came to the conclusion that I have been spending time alone as a defence mechanism, a protective shield, out of fear perhaps because truth be told I just cannot be bothered. What I have learnt is t...

We spend so much time looking at what we don’t have; focus on the water not on the glass. Just bless the water and don’t pay attention to the container. Don’t get attached to the container. You can’t share anything that you deny or don’t know that you have. See yourself as the flow. How can I flow this day? ( Deborah L Johnson author) God-given function, and the universe is set up to support it. God-given function, and the universe is set up to support it. The best way to summon your true calling is to put your true self in service to God." God-given function, and the universe is set up to support it. The best way to summon your true calling is to put your true self in service to God." --- from THE LAW OF DIVINE COMPENSATION  I ’ve been travelling over the past week, so so many lessons that I have learnt along the way. The aim of the trip was mainly to conduct gender training in the North where there was conflict for over 20 years. Seeing the area and hearing...