What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

“Self-love is simply appreciating the miracle of my own being. When I really love myself, I cannot hurt myself, and I cannot hurt another person. It begins with self-acceptance and self-love. I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself. I accept myself exactly as I am, right here and now. Self hatred is really only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns." Loving yourself is the catalyst of living a healthy and abundant life. It is really about me, no one else! I got it! Don’t beat up yourself all the time; learn the lesson and next time it shows up practice what you’ve learnt. Paying attention to my emotions in a healthy way is a good thing; I always thought it was a sign of either being weak or focusing on drama! Emotions are guides, lis...

There's not a damn thing you can control. Not one. But most of your suffering comes from believing you can. Maxie Mc Coy I was at a spoken word event last night, really deep stuff, teaching youths using the oral traditions, and I met a young lady who I had a lovely breakfast meeting with early last year She reminded me that we spoke about control and she admitted to me that she was a control freak and thought I was too cool about everything. She started volunteering with charity's and said it was the best thing she ever did because she knows for sure now that there is not a thing that she can control but herself. I laughed because I could relate to her and learnt that control is illusions or many times a form of fear! I learnt that control and responsibility are two different things Responsibility - my ability to respond to the reality of now Control - trying to make things different especially when you are fearful, wanting to manipulate a situation to suit...

I have learned that love never grows the same way twice. Even if you circle back and love the same person again, the love will never be the same. Love changes because we change. Love is adaptable because we are. And loving yourself is the only way to wholly and completely love another.   Stacey Herrera Confessions on the journey, I thought that self love was really about taking care of your body, having a pedicure, a health checkup, a manicure, a new hairdo. That is what I picked up as a teenager reading the magazines and looking at the women around me. And even with that I never took it seriously. There was nothing pointing to the inner work of loving yourself through being honest, accepting, trusting, acknowledging, setting boundaries and forgiving myself as part of the self love process. And from that place that I knew before, I lived my life, things were going well and then the shit hit the fan hey, Try living a life without setting boundaries,...

You are magic - one day you will be willing to see that - Deborah Johnson One of the most important lesson that I was given is that there is no prerequisite for worthiness. You are worthy and deserve the best by virtue of just being alive, end of story. Being born into this magnificent life means you are worthy of the best that life has to offer. How awesome is that to know and believe that you don't have to beg, bargain, trade and plead for your worthiness? you just have to show up every day, every single time, believing in that and always act on that belief. As children, we get brownie points for behaving a certain way and then we  start believing that our worthiness is attached to our behavior alone, we take this feeling into adulthood and believe we are worthy if  only we do certain things and we even  get rewarded for that behavior but nooo nooo You are worthy - just by being alive, let's start there, we are born 100% worthy What happens is that we forget or ...

No decision, no progress Kate Northrup Making a decision, I have learnt, is a form of power. It activates something powerful in me that allows me to do the very thing that I may have been putting off, postpoining and procrastinating. There is nothing more powerful than a made up mind. The conviction and discipline emerges and says here I am let's go, let's do this. Its knowing despite any doubts, that you are going to do the very thing, it is knowing despite hearing any talk to the contrary that this is going to happen....no matter what Not making a decision is indeed a decision - it is a decision by fault Many of us believe that we may make the wrong decision, and if you do so what? What does wrong mean any ole way? Free will allows us to change our mind and the lessons that we gain from the decisions are usually quite invaluable According to Kate Northrup, There’s no such thing as the wrong decision. There’s simply the decision you make. You can weigh the pros a...

Don’t keep score. If you bring “ obligation " into the equation, it makes everything janky. We all do favours (personally, I’m leery of favours ) for each other and hope that it will be reciprocated – reciprocity is such a beautiful part of being human...together. But…really really really it doesn’t matter what you did for anyone yesterday. Really it doesn’t. Don’t let it. You gave it. Let it go. No one owes you anything. Danielle La Porte Top   Ten Stopolisms 1.     Stop the need to be in control – give people a chance to rise to the occasion 2.     Stop being fake – yea just stop that 3.     Stop gossiping –talk about something in your own life that you can take the time to improve 4.     Stop trying to prove that you right – would you rather be right or be happy? 5.     Stop toting feelings – let it go 6.     Stop making excuses – mainly because of fear 7.   ...

We combat our belief that we are not good enough by perfecting, pleasing,performing we go through our lives trying to be who we think we are supposed to be doing and saying what we want we think we want people to hear, putting on what mask we think we need for that moment and that leaves us exhausted (pleasing, perfecting, performing) Courage requires us  to show the willingness and the ability to be uncomfortable and to feel our way through emotions Brene Brown It hit me like a ton of brinks yesterday, and I felt quite embarrassed at first and then I started laughing uncontrollably because I got it, a penny dropping moment. I did not feel good enough and did not feel as if I measured up to the task. I kept making excuses and making up reasons for doing the shite that I know was just in an attempt to make that particular person happy and in my circle. Hey as we say here "party done...." I am enough!  I have nothing to protect. I have nothing to defend. I have not...

Just be the Giver. Please. Be the generous one, the mentor, the adviser, the motivator, the donor, the donator, the one who cares. Find a way to make what you do matter for more people, or matter more for one person. Give someone a break. Give someone hope. Make a promise. Keep it. Overdeliver. Open the door of opportunity; open your wallet. O pen your heart, take out the love, and hand it to someone . DLP I love the Course in Miracles, it makes me go hmmm, have you ever heard that song "things that make you go hmmm" A Course in Miracles is one of the texts that have that effect on me And so ACIM presents the concept that what you give, you give to yourself and same with what you take. Because we are all connected, giving and receiving is really one and the same I started practicing this, changing my mind set is a process, not an event so it takes time. I started noticing things in a different way. I remind myself when I am down to my last $100 to not feel "br...

If you are excited about forming a relationship based on what it looks like you can get, rather than what you can give, you have started off on the wrong foot entirely, and you could be heading for a big disappointment. The purpose of all relationships is to create a sacred context within which you can express the fullness of who you are. And who you are is an experience you have before you enter relationship, not because you did . Neale Donald Walsh I have been asked a couple if times this week to talk at events for free and some big ones as well, I immediately said yes before the fact that it was to be gratis was made known . I was raising my fist,pumping it high, jumping up and screaming "yes! yes! yes! because I was so happy to be asked to speak at this particular event! I got home and looked at my budget and realized that I was way behind, off target and really skating through this month by the seat of my pants! Oh boy!! what's a girl to do? ...

The question is, what actually matters to you? Does beauty matter? Does comfort matter? Does stability have great meaning for you, or the capacity to travel the world? If you say it matters to you, then it matters . Danielle La Porte As I was reading this morning - "what actually matters to me?" I had to take a pause. I paused to think about it  and in my thinking I thought isn't this something that I ought to know easily? But if I am not paying attention I will have to sit and ponder about it Do the exercise with an open mind and willing spirit. It really is an eye opener! What is it that is super important to you? Is it working? Is it bringing you joy? Is it healthy for your mind, body and spirit? Is it harmless to you and the people around you? What matters to me?  My family My health Being a demonstration of what is possible Kindness Honesty Authenticity Real people (as opposed to fake ones) Positivity Nature Travelling the world Arsena...

Creating your reality is 100% about directing your mind towards of how you want to live your life. It's about being a conscious creator aligning yourself with your hearts desires. The paradox here is "you're too busy" to do this, so you unconsciously create scenarios you might not want, based on the thoughts and emotions you're entertaining. When you lose sight of this kind of power that's your true birthright, you get into a frenzy of trying so hard which adds more stress into your life. Take back that power today and realize that you are a creator of your reality. Maxie Mc Coy Life is indeed unpredictable because as human beings we do not and cannot know everything that will happen and the way it will happen. (how boring would that be anyway!) everyday I look forward to because this much I know, it will bring some level of surprise and newness to me that will have me saying wow! And that may be wow with a big smile or wow with a big sigh. Both come bearin...

If we set aside any ego investment in the situation, then only love will flow though us, and it will be expressed in a form that would be appropriate in that specific situation . ACIM  the only relationship you ever have is the one you are having with yourself. Other people show up in your life as a demonstration of how you are being, what you are believing and how you are behaving with   yourself, within yourself. I also know that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Lifetime relationships are those bound by blood lines such as parents, siblings and those with who you bring children to life. So, it is not clear to me that one person is meant for another person unless their is a reason for them to be together; in the season they are meant to be together.  As we deepen and become more present in the relationship with ourselves, we attract people, who can give us more of who we are. At the physical and intellectual levels of being, it i...

I'm so much prettier when I let it go, let it go I'm just so beautiful when I let it go, let it go I'm just, I'm so much prettier When I let it go, let it go, I'm so beautiful  When I let it go, let it go, let it go Jill Scott Note to self: Let it go When the decision you made did not get you to where you thought you out to be- let it go When you didn't get the job or promotion that you thought would make your life all worth it- let it go When the guy you thought was a good one stops talking like you, just like that - let it go When you put your foot in your mouth at an important event - let it go You're just so much more beautiful when you let it go When your co-worker says something you believe is totally insensitive - let it go When you hire  cleaners and they break your faucet while cleaning the bathroom- let it go When the cash you need to pay your bills was spent on something else and you are worried that you have little or no cash until ...

Sometimes, we “act” like we love ourselves so that we don’t have to change.     I Love myself completely and no changes are required, I’m THAT rad.  Except our spirit very much wants to change what’s not working for our lives. But we’re afraid (often misdiagnosed as   lazy   or   arrogant) to do what it takes to change. Fake self Love can turn into a cop out for really growing. What do you say when people as you "How are you?" Do you have a standard response? A positive or not so positive? Self love is really a journey, one that sometimes finds you down roads and paths that are completely unknown, it is a conscious decision that involves some inner work and home truths Before I knew this, my concept of self love was pampering - pedicures, manicures, massages, facial most likely including a spa day throw in come wool bathrobes and cucumber over my eyes and there you go, overflowing with self love. And having tried that a few times there was still ...

Ask yourself, whose business are you in? Byron Katie Are you living in your life? Where is your attention? Are you trying to control someone and something else or doing things to make people believe that your way is the best way perhaps the only way? What is going on in your life or maybe not going on in your life that you beleive that you must leave it and hop across to "fix" or judge someone else's life? If you are over "there", then what exactly is happening here where you are? Byron Katie says there is my business, your business and God's business. Staying in your business is really .... your business If you are not in your own life then where are ya? And who's life are you living? Peace

Mistakes happen. Big, dumb, stupid, lazy mistakes. Fat frickin’ messes that you will regret for a very long time. And no affirmation or predeterministic thinking will change the fact that you’ve done gone and f***d up. And when you can get that real about it, you don’t need to waste energy protecting your ego or pouring on the sweetener. You can use that energy to clean up the mess and love yourself while you’re doing it. Danielle La Porte Admit it and then move on. The admission is the first part. I was talking to someone I love chatting with and she told me "girl, please, accept, dust it off and proceed wisely"  The non acceptance is what messes us up especially when we know me "done gone and messed up" some if us blame, make excuses, rehash it over and over in our minds, go down fighting, and that energy could be used to clean it up, learn the lesson and move on. Peace

Cleaning our minds, bodies, and spaces is essential — as in, a profoundly critical must must must. It fuels every kind of vitality and fulfillment. It’s the difference between held back and fully free, congested and clear, shuffling along and flying. So fall in love the necessity of regular purification. Danielle La Porte Order is the first Universal Law, an orderly mind manifests itself into an orderly life and by orderly I mean putting first things first and purifying and purging as a norm. Letting go of things that no longer serve you, making room for the things that give you life and love. Making no excuses for keeping the junk, for out of order actions from you and the people around you. God First and everything else after, that is just the way it is, nothing more I can say about that, time and time again we put work first and therein lies the cause of many of our issues, or we may put the wife or husband or significant other first, same result- out of or...

Who’s your community? Who’s your collective? The ones that know your calling and push your momentum? Danielle La Porte Carnival time in Trinidad and Tobago is one where you meet and see people that you haven't seen for ages, you open your homes to friends who live abroad and come back for the festival, you sleep little and party hard, as we say here "the vibes cyar done" On the flip side there are quite a few disagreements and fights - people show themselves. My tribe, they are all different, a bunch of women that I have known for ages and we accept and love one another as we are , all of us are different and the diversity makes our tribe not just interesting but so much fun. It got me to thinking about how and who joins the tribe and why? Is it a "free for all" come on in and we accept or do we have boundaries and hidden criteria somewhere in there? Who pushes you? Who do you see yourself in? Is there mutual respect and admiration? Or is it a rubber s...

So long as you are worried about what others think of you you are owned by them ACIM Who owns you? Who do you worry about what they think of you? What is freedom to you? The boss, you want to "impress", the new boo you also what to "impress" the neighbour's who just moved accross the street and the list goes on I got to the point of showing up real and trusting my gut. With both of them  the need to "impress" has reduced so so much. Its also freeing As we say here "who vex lorse" those who are for you will remain, those who aren't will fall off, don't even bother about it Are you ready? Are you willing? Peace

the good day has begun...give praise children - David Rudder Today marks the start of what we call Carnival, a huge celebration of culture and fun that runs for days, no sleep involved just a lot of activities, parties, culture and steelpan. I love it I love the freedom the innovation, the gay abandon, the vibes, the energy that comes from this time I look forward to it every year, which is held two days before Ash Wednesday. And so, in my time of no sleep and enjoying the culture I may check in with you from time to time to share lessons on the journey For my fellow Trini peeps have a happy and safe carnival, for everyone else, Google Trinidad Carnival and then take trip down for a taste Peace

Let the work happen in your life. If there's an inner urge to do something, do it. Start tuning into your spirit and your heart. Don't let the mind make you overthink and judge the process. Imagination and intuition will guide you further the more you start to trust it. Raise the Vibration E verytime,, it happens everytime... I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach, a sign a message even, to do something, to make a move and I wait, I analyse, I over think and wait and wait and maybe do nothing and then .... shit hits fan.  And then-  I say - "hmmm you did not pay attention and honor the signs  ..,.again, why oh why?"  Fear is usually the answer I want things to be a certain way and I did not trust the process And so the whispers are to bring me back into the process that I was doubting and questioning Some of the most successful people by any standards say - always trust yourself, that inner voice, it always lead you to the right path and that is not to...

This is one of my favorite "What Did I Learn Today? pieces from my girl Stacey Hererra who is an awesome coach that I have had the pleasure of working with, I wanted to share it with you today  Peace! "The urge to rush through pain is normal. You want to get it over with as soon as possible. But while pain may be inconvenient, it almost always comes bearing gifts. Because pain is a signal, not a symptom, it is always accompanied by expansion. Pain’s purpose is to get your attention, fast. So that you can move on and through, not around, to something better. Keep in mind that better is not always grandiose. But better is still better. It may come in the form of an open mind or an open heart. Better could be liberation from a job, a partner, or financial chokehold. Better could be as simple as a new perspective. Pain is not here to make you hurt, it serves to wrangle your awareness. Look at it. Listen to it. Learn from it. And move through it"

What Did I Learn Today? "Be love! Be love when you think you have made a mistake that cannot or will not be forgiven. Be love when you suffer material loss or experience material gain. Be love when you are afraid that who you are is not enough. Be love when those you seem to have trusted has abandoned you Be love when you are falsely accused Be love when the world does not give you the credit you think you deserve. Be love because no matter what is going on love is the one thing that every living soul needs" Peace

                Have the conversation so you no longer have to carry the burden. Lighter.       Kick the fake food so your body can re-set to optimal. Lighter.      Bathe  your body with complete sensual respect — because it’s YOUR BODY. Lighter. Sit your beautiful self down and be still so that you can feel life pulsing through you. Stay there just a minute longer because that’s the place where the heavy thoughts give way to the healing truth.  Let light pour through you  — it’s the most powerful tool in the universe — cleansing, revealing, life-giving. Lighter. Danielle La Porte       This week the pace was up, I have been sitting outside of my comfort zone and truth be told, it is taking a bit of getting used to, the early mornings and late nights - and what it showed me is that making time to rest and regroup is an absolute priority. ...