Excerpt from What Did I Learn Today?

“Self-love is simply appreciating the miracle of my own being. When I really love myself, I cannot hurt myself, and I cannot hurt another person. It begins with self-acceptance and self-love. I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself. I accept myself exactly as I am, right here and now.

Self hatred is really only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns."

Loving yourself is the catalyst of living a healthy and abundant life. It is really about me, no one else! I got it!

Don’t beat up yourself all the time; learn the lesson and next time it shows up practice what you’ve learnt. Paying attention to my emotions in a healthy way is a good thing; I always thought it was a sign of either being weak or focusing on drama! Emotions are guides, listen to them and make a choice.

Many times we focus on what’s missing, what we don;t have and all that does is draw more of the same on to you. And when that happens, we beat up ourselves, with that the cycle continues.

Meanwhile at home, I had left my house empty in the hands of a real estate agent, I budgeted three months of mortgage as I anticipated by that time the place would be rented.

It was coming up to the seventh month and there were no renters in plain sight. I started getting the calls from the bank about when am I going to settle these outstanding arrears. No one knew my situation, I kept it all to myself. I convinced myself that the loss of my job and the breakdown of my marriage was enough. A tenant will be found soon, it was just a matter of time.

I never even told the bank that I was now divorced, they kept asking about my husband’s role in this and I stuck to the story of he is no longer responsible for the mortgage.

“Well is he unemployed?”

“No”

“Is he ill?”

“No”

“He just is no longer responsible”

I think the poor lady was in between baffled and frustrated

One afternoon I was coming back from the library and the phone rang, I recognised the number as the bank

I answered

OK we have given you enough time, if you do not settle these arrears by next week the house will be put up for sale

“Sale?”

“Yes sale”

Click, phone went dead! So did my brain for about two minutes.

Oh boy! I got home and sat at the edge of the bed, what now? I’m being good, I’m eating fruits and vegetables, I’m exercising, and I’m doing charity work. I brush my teeth and I floss when I remember! What now? Can I just get a tenant? What what?

Peace