Do you have Boundaries?

Boundaries were necessary for a successful relationship. Most relationships aborted in the boundary defining stage. Not because people demanded what they needed. But because they didn’t, then got resentful about it.    Karen Morie Moring



Boundaries, oh Boundaries! My hardest lesson on the journey! I think of myself as a naturally kind and giving person. I love to help, to support, to send light, to be around positivity. And for that reason I make the extra effort to be kind to people, to show up smiling and to mind my own business.
And with this approach I have also learnt that there are those who are not in a position to receive my kindness and smiling. This is where boundaries come in, how do I draw a line in the sand when those who do not know how to receive my kindness? How do I not take this personally? How do I not keep looking for a way to "of help"? How do I say no?
How do I have a conversation with people about these boundareis and more than that, the consequences of jumping over the boundaries I set
I have been asking myself these questions.

Boundaries to me, is about self respect, it is about how I treat myself and treat others. Boundaries is how I take care of my mental and emotional health. Boundaries sets the tone on what I stand for and accept from myself and others.

Poor boundaries leads to emotional burnout and resentment- I ain't about that type of life now!
When I set a boundary I also respect myself more! What will I accept from you? What will I not accept? And am I ready to accept the consequences? Some people may not like boundaries, as a recovering people pleaser, this has been a challenge.

I have learnt that if I want everyone to like me no matter what, you don't need boundaries, but the consequences of that is a lack of self respect, resentment and regret! Newsflas, everyone cannot like me!
I have learnt that what I stand for will determine how I live and who I attract into my world
I have learnt that there can be renegotiation of boundaries and flexibility is part of the journey

Do you have boundaries?
Peace

 Have you read any of Akosua's work?
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua on




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

30 Things I Believe

Image
What is being of service? Looking upon another human being with kindness and compassion and not judgement is a profound act of service and though such a form of service lacks for whistles and bells, this expression of “service” comes from truly understanding the power of your soul and what it means to “look upon another with eyes of grace.” Carolyn Myss 1. I believe in sleep 2. I believe that love can cure it all  3. I believe in feeling my feelings 4. I believe that nature is my best teacher 5. I believe that friends are family minus blood lines 6. I believe that discipline and consistency combined with talent  can and will can create miracles 7. I believe in following my intuition 8. I believe that rest is part of the Journey 9. I believe in that all things are lessons that God will have us learn 10. I believe in choosing the people around you with care 11. I believe that vacations can reboot creativity  12. I believe in joy - doing what brings you joy - and often 13
Read more

What Does Support Look Like to You?

Image
  You save yourself energy when you learn to ask people what they need, instead of assuming you know best then acting on your own impulses. Allowing people to define what support looks like gives you an ability to assess if you have the capacity to show up - Minaa B If someone asks you right now, what does support look like to you, what would be your answer? It takes self reflection , self awareness and more importantly a whole load of authenticity to answer. On the flip side, do you rush to support others without them even asking- there may be times when that is required, however many a time we assume that we know what others want and need. The times when we do assume, after a while a feeling of resentment builds because "how could they be so ungrateful?" or "why are they not seeing their need for my help?" the other classic is "they must need my help to show them because they clearly are not seeing that they need support" We continue to assume what othe
Read more

Sensible Optimism

Image
  Optimism is usually defined as a belief that things will go well. But that's incomplete. Sensible optimism is a belief that the odds are in your favor, and over time things will balance out to a good outcome even if what happens in between is filled with misery. And in fact you  know  it will be filled with misery. You can be optimistic that the long-term growth trajectory is up and to the right, but equally sure that the road between now and then is filled with landmines, and always will be. Those two things are not mutually exclusive." Who told us that all the roads on the Journey of life will be smooth and bump free? And even if you knew or remember who told you, why did you believe it given what you know? What if the blessing, what if the growth, what if the joy is found on the rocky bumpy road? What if? And if it is, we can rest easier that the bumps and rocky roads are designed with us in mind, designed for us to grow, to learn, to live a life that is filled with varie
Read more