What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Allow others to be who they are, to do what they do and to have what they have. Do not judge them and do not have emotional   attachments and expectations of them. They are what, who and how they are. If that is different to who, what and how you are, so be it. Accept, honour, respect, allow and support who YOU are. Accept, honour, respect, allow and support who they are . The Law of Allowing Oh we love to fix  people , we love to tell them what they should and shouldn't be doing, how best to live, how best to love. Sometimes we do it all in the name of love and sometimes in the name of eo and control. Other times we are just plain ole nosy and not living our own lives. Whatever the reason, the fact is that loving people enough to allow them to live without judgement is a big step. It involves courage, and lack of expectations. For humans this is now unfortunately outside of our norm. We love to give advice, tell people what to do and get upset when the people ign...

Self Sabotage is a common response to forcing ourselves to do something we do not believe we can do or should b doing. Rather than run the risk of finding success or meeting with failure, we pull out, abandon, or mess up before we can even complete the task. Iyanla Vanzant Confessions on the journey - My over thinking was on over drive. Have you been in a situation where things are movinh along swimmingly, it's all coming together nicely like ice cream. And then out of the blue shit starts hitting the fan, you run to turn the fan off, but it' still spinning. Something triggers you, and all good sense and reasoning is forgotten? Yea that's me right about now I thought to myself - well I over thought to myself- listen you are supposed to be the one spreading good news and sharing about being positive - stop it, snap out of it, stop eating all those  cheese crackers. Then some sense prevails and I remember that I am from the human race, we all have some funk day...

There's a difference between denial and transcendence. Denial means that you distract yourself, numb yourself, bury your head in the sand, pretend it's not happening, and suppress the pain. Transcendence means you endure it. You endure it as a sacred and holy path towards becoming a more awake, more enlightened, more compassionate, and better person . Elisa Lionne I was asked to be a co-host on a show called MIND Spa - the basic premise is to have real conversations with women about what women chat about - but it takes place in a lovely spa. Exciting stuff, very happy to be asked to be a part of this project Now, in doing this project I have been paying attention to some of the conversations that happen around me, who really wants to show that they have it altogether, when really, it is just life, the ebb and flows, the up's and down's. Who wants to hide behind "something" whatever that something is in the name of having fun and life is too short and YOLO...

You do not lose what you share - Marianne Williamson Someone came to me and said they had a wonderful idea, and when executed it will make money and change lives, I was of course curious to hear what the idea was. "So what is the idea then?" "I cannot share it" "Okay then" "Why not?" "People will steal it" "So how will you execute it without sharing it?" "I will figure it out" I smiled and left that there How can you execute an idea without sharing it? I will tell you it will be quite difficult I think if you believe in yourself, your idea and your tribe there will be very little fear in sharing your idea No one can do what you do like you can It is an opportunity to learn, share and improve Get the ego and fear out of the way And if it doesn't work out the way you thought it would you would have gained some valuable lessons and possibly some friends on the journey and go out there and exec...

What is missing in a situation is exactly what you are not giving - Marianne Willamson Taking full responsibility for our lives and situations in it takes courage. It is so much easier to say circumstances caused us to make a decision or the other person pushed us to do it, or two favourites, it is not the right time and it's complicated. Oh and the other  clincher, use love as the reason particularly in intimate relationships - I love him, I love her, when it really is about fear or ego. The truth is sometimes inconvenient as at times it may require us to make uncomfortable decisions as well as, it may look like we were wrong and there are people who judge you with the I told you so, for me, more importantly is letting myself down. There is absolutely nothing worse to me than letting myself down because of fear and people pleasing. Marianne Williamson's teachings suggest that in order to get one must give, this is also keeping with the teaching of the Course in Miracl...

We can still aim for greatness.  We can still strive for excellence. We can polish and shine when there’s time and space. But we have to know when it’s time to set our work free and let it do its thing, imperfections and all. Imperfect work that’s put out there changes more lives than work that stays hidden because its creator was trapped by perfectionism. Perfectionism stalls progress. Perfectionism keeps us stuck. Perfectionism robs the world of our gifts and talents. Kate Northrup I am a do-er, I do things, I do them quietly, I do them because I prefer to do than talk. It is never perfect,  it never is. I do it because when I  procrastinate  it drags on and sometimes never get's done. Most times I procrastinate because of fear. Fear of failing, of being wrong, of doing it badly, of doing  nonsense . I have learnt that I can start and improve as I go, there is absolutely nothing amiss about that strategy. What I have also learnt is that I have some iss...

Seek not outside yourself or it will fail - ACIM Most of you have found your authenticity in your most painful moments, when you could no longer go along with the program, as it were, when you were suffocating, strangling, caving in under the weight of other people’s ideas, behaviors, or expectations for your life. However, your connection to your authenticity need not come through a reactive response. If you would dare choose your authenticity as a lifestyle, you would not experience such trauma. Your authenticity is with you always. It does not need drama or trauma in order to express Remember, drama is optional Show up. AS YOU! Every single time! Who vex lorse! Peace!! Follow my own Journey to Authenticity in the book “What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love” Available at Nigel R Khan bookstores, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.COM

Every day in the pursuit of knowledge something is added, spirituality is the practice of unlearning and letting go  Deborah L Johnson We are busy searching for what we are. We are like the fish in the ocean looking for the sea, we believe  that something is missing and we look to people, places and things to tell us who we are to fill the so called void. Newsflash - that never works and when we get what we belelive will fill us up it is short lived or we spend most of our time thinking that we are going to lose it Listen to this, our inner being is so full of integrity that it will not allow us to keep anything that we do not believe we deserve to have, There is an inner healing that has to take place The acquisition of more will not do the trick The acquisition of more never makes you whole Quite the contrary, what makes you whole is the dropping of some of the "stuff" Wholeness is about balance Wholeness is about putting things in it's proper perspective Wh...

Love wishes to be known, completely understood and shared. It has no secrets; nothing that it would keep apart and hide. It walks in sunlight, open-eyed and calm, in smiling welcome and in sincerity so simple and so obvious it cannot be misunderstood. ACIM  Love has no secrets I remember my professor telling me that anything that I wish to hide has no love in it- and we were talking about  my reluctance to publish a paper. When he said it to me I stopped for a moment, I thought it was one of the best things I heard all week more than any of the lectures I had attended. As soon as he said it, my question-o-meter started beeping Prof, what do you mean? Anything that you feel the need or have to hide has no love in it, think about why you do not want to publish this paper and you may see that you do not love what you are doing  I think I can use this piece of wisdom for everything Prof Do as you please, if you have to hide anything in your life, or in fact, anyone,...

"Love does not force" Marianne Willamson Relationships I have learnt are containers for growth. We grow exponentially when we are functioning in the world in relationships, any type of relationships, but the most learning- the PhD of learning in relationships come from what we call romantic relationships I can say with certainty that being alone, that is, away from all manner of people, for a while is healthy but for a long time is not as healthy as I thought. he majority of my growth came and was recognized in the interaction with people and intimate relationships, including the difficult ones Yesterday I was having a conversation, someone asked me why was I single and have I found candidate for making children with - (I immediately thought of convening a screening process when I heard the word candidate) I digress My response was a chuckle (I use the chuckle to stall) She then went on to talk about in her relationship her man asked her to wear certain types of cl...

All uncertainty comes from the belief that you are under the coercion of judgment. You do not need judgment to organise your life, and you certainly do not need it to organise yourself. In the presence of knowledge all judgment is automatically suspended, and this is the process that enables recognition to replace perception ACIM Pulled this out of the archive - it resonated with me today, I wrote this when I was running away and had a penny dropping moment..... You take you with you wherever you go! At times there is the tendency to believe that one can simply move into another environment and that environment itself will provide some brand new insight. However, an environment alone cannot create anything within you. You take wherever you are in consciousness with you into the new environment. If there is a shift, a change, it needs to happen within you. You don’t have to go someplace else to get the shift of  awareness nor does going somewhere else guarantee that the...

Truth is the absence of illusion; illusion the absence of truth. Both cannot be together, nor perceived in the same place.ACIM You can run away from yourself for a very long time. You can be married to the wrong person for a very long time and pretend it is fine You can  work at a job which is half fulfilling you You can hide behind the square footage, big cars, fancy holidays, big screen TV's But you cannot get away with being a fake Life will at some point reveal itself and show you a mirror to help you see your own truth And if you've been faking it, ignoring your truths and feelings the wake up call with be very harsh The call may be in the form of what we call a loss - loss of relationship, loss of job, loss of whatever external thing that you value yourself by To be authentic is the highest form of prayer Thank you to all who came out to support last night at Dianne's for Tea - love and love alone Peace

The body can bring you neither peace nor turmoil; neither joy nor pain. It is a means, and not an end. It has no purpose of itself, but only what is given to it. The body will seem to be whatever is the means for reaching the goal that you assign to it. Only the mind can set a purpose, and only the mind can see the means for its accomplishment, and justify its use. Peace and guilt are both conditions of the mind, to be attained. And these conditions are the home of the emotion that calls them forth, and therefore is compatible with them. ACIM Running this morning  at 5,45 AM was a challenge, I was not only sleepy but kept things on my mind which really had no right being brought into a new day- but I choose to kept it because I believed I could fix it. Our decision was to run 4.87 miles (or 7.5k). I started off with a little kick, thinking the faster I do this the faster I get over it. At about the one mile mark I wanted to stop and go sit down somewhere - no scratch that, li...

I live in the faith that there is a Presence and Power greater than I am that nurtures and supports me in ways I could not even imagine. I know that this Presence is All knowing and All Power and is Always right where I am   -Marianne Willamson There are so many demonstrations of how the Universe has our back, even when things seem to be out of control - I learnt from that even though I may not have control that things are not out of control I have been looking at the Olympics, seeing the inspiring performances and marveling at the beauty of the human spirit. The Olympics remind me that we are tapped into an  inexhaustible supply, our capacity to express our potential has no limit. In order to express our potential, we have to grow - growth is not linear. We need to enlarge our capacity, enlarge our vision We have a charge to create something new, something different When we all come together magic happens Peace 

The only person we can change is our SELF. If we don't like someone else's choices or behaviors we don't have to be around them. We can love them and have compassion for them while we remove our investment of energy in them - back to our SELF - so we can make choices for ourselves that are in our highest and best good. Sabrina Reber Are you willing to no longer recognize yourself? You have an idea in your mind of who you think you are – you like certain things, you act this way, you respond this way to and so on and so on. You pride yourself in this. All of this becomes integral parts of your personality. For any of it to shift is unsettling because it redefines who you are. When you transform you must let go of the perceptions of yourself! You are busy trying to squeeze the gre at, grand, magnificent, spiritual you into this lil ole box called your personality. And in clinging so insistently to your personality you squeeze out the possibility of your greatness!...

even lifetime relationships have a reason and a season.Iyanla There are times when showing love means saying no There are times when love means walking away There are times when love means choosing the salad  There are times when love means being honest even if it hurts There are times when love means doing something uncomfortable There are times when love means moving away - sometimes to another country There are times when love means ending the bullshit There are times when love means looking in the mirror and  admitting  you are fooling no one including yourself There are times when love means being proud of yourself and saying so - out loud When all these signs of love involve people who are in your life either through being family or partners and ones with children it can be a challenge - but what is the alternative? sufferation..... Love is all good and it takes courage and authenticity and courageous people are not punks Peace ...

Here's one simple method to help you stay in the present: Change your vocabulary. Specifically, give up the use of the following terms and all that they imply: blame, deserve, guilt, fair, fault. If you cut those five words from your vocabulary, both in your private thoughts and in your communication with others, you will notice almost immediately that it is far more difficult to fall into negative emotional patterns. You will also discover how habitual those patterns had become.  These are two of my favorite lessons 1. Words have power - be careful what you say - be conscious in what you put out into the Universe 2. Do it - and declare that you are DOING it, everything else is  not doing it Some or shall I say many people call me quiet. I must admit, off the stage I do not talk that much. Firstly because I prefer not to waste words and secondly listening to people I learn so much and I love learning, it's exciting. Now more than ever I watch my words, I h...

You just have to realize that it works IF YOU WORK IT. This is a process. It takes effort. Consistent daily effort. It takes a lot of repetition. That’s why it’s called a practice. It’s not enough to just want to be at peace and intend to be a better person. Your good intentions are not enough. You actually have to take action and walk the walk.  These are two of my favourite lessons 1. Words have power - be careful what you say - be conscious in what you put out into the Universe 2. Do it - and declare that you are DOING it, everything else is  not doing it It is such a wake up call! I wanted to share that with you today Keeping it short and sweet To be continued.... Peace

Connection is the cure to so much. It’s an escape route from our own funks. It’s a reminder that we’re not actually as alone in all of these feelings as we think. Connection is waterfall of good vibes that draws you back to your own magic. Maxie Mc Coy "Why don't you get a proper job" "Why not get a real job" "What are you financial priorities at the moment" Three questions from three different people yesterday, I love it when the Universe is attempting to get my attention I am supposed to be launching a product before the end of the year, I wanted to do it differently and take a little more creative control from the publishers and so I have been looking around for printers and other related suppliers. When all the quotes came back I looked at all of them and my first response was a loud sigh! Then I ignored it for a couple of weeks ( I've learnt that solves nothing!) and then I asked for more quotes. They came back and I did the same th...

The universe is our mirror and until our patterns and issues get healed we will continue to run into ourselves everywhere we go. We attract relationships with certain individuals so they can show us areas in our own life that need to be healed through their actions and behaviors . Sabrina Reber OK so I am admitting it, the theory is easier than in practice I have heard many times that not everyone is supposed to or can like you and what other people think of you is none of your business I have also heard and read that everyone in your life is a teacher of some sort and is there to reflect something to you whether it is how far you have come or how much more you have to go but dealing with in in real life yo! that shit is hard man!! I swear!! Confessions on the journey - being around people who are snarky and show an open dislike for me is hard, I struggle with it - it's just bloody hard, what can I say? I prefer peace and love  Sadly, this is not usually the case  A...

If you don’t know why. And have some other superficial reason for doing it. Give yourself a break and wait to put your time, energy, love, and heart into something that has a reason which rocks your bones. Maxie McCoy What is your intention? What is the reason for doing it? Have you ever asked yourself this question before jumping into something? I usually don't, as soon as I believe or feel I want to do something I do it Sometimes it works fabulously and other times, OMG major lessons! It works fabulously when it feels right, when it beings me joy, when I am scared out of my wits because it is outside my comfort zone  It provides lessons when I follow, when I feel  must prove something to someone, when I am doing it just because, well I am basically reacting to a trigger It is actually quite refreshing to now discern the difference You might not realize this, but you choose how you want to feel. You choose to be sad, happy, excited, up, and or down. However, when...

Let me be grateful to my Self today. Let me recognize that I am deserving of my own gratitude. Instead of being annoyed with myself, impatient with myself, harsh on myself, discouraged with myself, or untrusting of myself, let me offer myself my own gratitude. And let me realize that my own gratitude is all I need and want. Let me understand that when I have learned fully to be completely grateful to my Self for what I am, I will have completed the journey, and will have learned, at the same time, to be fully appreciative and grateful to God for the gift He has given me: my Self. ACIM There is nothing more disappointing to me than letting myself down, nothing There is nothing I feel worse for than betraying myself, nothing There is nothing I can get totally down on more than breaking my commitment to me I have to remind myself to be gentle, to be less harsh, to take it in stride I tell you, it is a work in progress In reading A Course in Miracles, I learnt that being grateful...

The abundance you desire to experience must first be an experience in your mind. Ernest Holmes Yesterday as I was chatting with my aunt the penny dropped, we were discussing medical care and bills for my grandma and she said well everyone knows that you have no money and usually never has. I laughed, when I heard it but as she continued to talk it became clear to me that although I never verbally told them that, the perception and attitude that comes from me reflects that to them. I have now internalized that since I no longer work a "normal" job that my funds are limited and limited to the essentials - I really don't have much to spare - that has now manifested in all and every area in my life so much so that the family has recognized and spoke about me with the belief that "I never have money" And so as of today, this moment, I have changed my mind I am abundant I now earn, save, spend and invest my money wisely I am now in this moment changing my mind...

Everything's gonna be all right Everything's gonna be all right! Everything's gonna be all right, yeah! Everything's gonna be all right! So no, woman, no cry; No, woman, no cry . Bob Marley One of my favorite teachers always says "You be the good news today" And I would ask "So what if I am feeling crappy?" "So what if you are? Is that they world's problem?" "No" "Be the good news by being present, and true, by not adding your crap to the ones that are out there, that is not to say to not feel your feelings but taking responsibility for you and your contribution to this wonderful experience called life" So today I share this with you You be the good news today Peace

Life can be only what you make it  When you're feelin down You should never fake it.  Say what's on your mind And you'll find in time.  That all the negative energy It would all cease  And you'll be at peace with yourself You won't really need no one else Except for the man up above  Because He'll give you love (My Life Mary J Blige)  Today I am up at the crack of dawn to travel to the North Coast, I have the absolute privilege to be a part of a community project which has transformed not only this rural community community but also transformed me The community is presently in the midst of installing solar panels at a cocoa estate where the they grow their own cocoa and make a number of products including high quality chocolate bars A bit further on from the cocoa house, they have set up an apiary  with some of the sweetest honey you would ever have in your entire life, a rain water harvesting exercise is happening here. I will be accompanying a...

Don't waste your time and energy on surface connections. Dive into yourself and see what kind of person you attract. Everyone in your life is a reflection of where you are. They are there to show you your current state. Don't get upset, get better and start elevating. Idillionaire Sobering thought - every one who comes into your life is a reflection of where you currently are, everyone you block from entering your space is also a reflection of where you currently are. And even better - those who leave your life  without "logical" reason, warning or notice also reflect how much you have evolved, changed, grown or regressed. Pay attention to who is in your tribe and more importantly who you choose to let in Pay attention who you run behind to bring back into the tribe, especially when they have demonstrated by their behavior that they have chosen to move on In the past, and sometimes recent past I would go after people who have demonstrated that they have ...

It’s always fear in opening up to one another that holds us back and stops us from getting the support, help, love, encouragement and understanding we need in life. Dawn Barclay Let’s face it, if we open ourselves up and feel more vulnerable in the act of trying, why would we even go there? I’m not going to say ‘just reach out’, ‘ask for help’, or ‘let people in’, because it is hard. I know that. Everyone’s content is different, complex and unique. And, sometimes, well, sometimes the shame we feel about our own story is such a heavy weight, we think we have to hold it alone because we feel 'it's all our fault'. We’re afraid that by standing emotionally naked before others dressed in our struggles and fears they will judge us, misunderstand us, or push us away. That if we expose our words and feelings we will be shown up as the ones who aren’t coping, or aren’t enough, never mind good enough. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We don’t want others to see how much we a...