Love does not force

"Love does not force" Marianne Willamson

Relationships I have learnt are containers for growth. We grow exponentially when we are functioning in the world in relationships, any type of relationships, but the most learning- the PhD of learning in relationships come from what we call romantic relationships

I can say with certainty that being alone, that is, away from all manner of people, for a while is healthy but for a long time is not as healthy as I thought. he majority of my growth came and was recognized in the interaction with people and intimate relationships, including the difficult ones

Yesterday I was having a conversation, someone asked me why was I single and have I found candidate for making children with - (I immediately thought of convening a screening process when I heard the word candidate) I digress
My response was a chuckle (I use the chuckle to stall)
She then went on to talk about in her relationship her man asked her to wear certain types of clothes because that is how his woman ought to be looking
Now see the thing is, no one tells me what to wear especially when I am buying the threads- no siree
Now I was curious, about how it made her feel
She admitted she did not like it but its a small price to pay to keep the peace
I began thinking about what I do to "keep the peace" I used to do a  whole lot of self-dishonoring things and I committed to myself that it ain't happening for love nor money ever again
I began thinking about how far I have come, because yes sometimes I start on the road and then I realise hey, this is the road to hell, and instead of saying but it may have a shortcut that may lead to heaven along the way I turn the hell around - literally

I'm looking for a partner to share, the whole forcing me to wear certain type of clothes, and all that goes along with it is not cutting it for me. Love supports, builds, encourages
All the things we say are love - newsflash if involves lies, fears, hiding, excuses and forcing- it is something masquerading as love, chances are it's your fear or something in you that requires healing or growth

May I remember that
If I am thinking with love I will experience the effects of love - and love is the absence of fear
If I am thinking with fear I will experience the effects of fear

Let the screening begin


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