What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

In order to get where you need to be, you will be rejected by people, situations, and circumstances that are not right for you or do not show up at the right time. If you give up after the first no, the first betrayal, you will never find your rightful place. Every "no" you encounter is a trust-building opportunity. Every rejection you experience has the potential to deepen your capacity to trust yourself and the process of life - Iyanla I have learnt that the No's are essential, I have learnt that the No's build me up, I have learnt to not take the No's personally, that it is all part of a bigger picture that at the time I know absolutely nothing about, I have learnt to feel the feelings when I get the No's. I have learnt that when I am grounded and know clearly my intentions, I can feel the feelings associated with the No much easier, some No's are hard though, especially when you believe in all your heart that it is what you wanted, that it will ...

“It is what it is.” or “The universe is already perfect.” or “Everything happens for a reason.” can all function as excellent justifications for never doing much of anything and never really examining one’s behavior.  " High Existence Hello Lovies I joined an exercise boot camp. This is my fourth week (in between my travels). I must admit, it's tough, I swear(literally too) it pushes me, pulls me, frustrates me and challenges me. This morning I resumed the camp and just as I was ready to throw in the towel with some swear words attached the instructor said something "when you do the same thing all the time, there is very little growth, your body and your life, your body get's familiar, and it becomes easy, things remain the same" Boom We do the same thing over and over and expect growth We do the same thing over and over and expect adventure We do the same thing over and over and expect to overcome challenges Gotta change it up, mix it up, do s...

Each of us comes to that point where we must trust someone enough to open ourselves up for review and examination. It's not always easy! Its a challenge to admit or acknowledge your own faults. It is even more difficult to accept that we have made some costly mistakes, poor decisions and bacd choices. For some reason we don't want people to know that we are human. But we are We cannot hide what we feel forever It is essential to our sense of well being that we find  a way to open up and let some one know what is going on inside Until Today My ability to work.drive.vote.earn. choose.walk d road.drive a car.own property.get a mortgage...... didn't come "jus so" someone paid, paved a path, died even and I have a responsibility to carry this on and improve on this. All women I know throughout the world do not have these rights that some of us take for granted, and all women is me and I am all women. so if I am not contributing to all women, I am not contribu...

Your feelings are telling you something – just develop courage to listen and stop seeking to understand or fix what is going on in your body Kyle Jones Our feelings are messages, when we ignore the messages they become red flags, the messages get louder, the body then gets involved, sickness and ailments and pain sets in. Feeling your feelings immediately will not kill you, I guarantee it, what can kill you in the build up of emotions within your body that you do not feel that manifests itself in all manner of ailments According to Kyle Jones, these are what your feelings tell you: 1.     You are abandoning yourself 2.     You are around energies nit beneficial to your energy field 3.     You are in a dangerous situation 4.     You are not taking time to be still and let your thinking emotional body find balance. This often happens when we have busy lives and focus on doing rather than being But th...

You, like every card-carrying human on the planet, are going to make mistakes. You are going to choose the wrong love at least once. You are going to miss opportunities sometimes, and you're going to move to fast or too slow at other times. You will find yourself engaged in unexpected conflicts You are going to be afraid, or confused or plain wrong about something or some people Get a Grip! This does not mean you're an idiot or that you life can be totally derailed  by one or more of the mistakes you have made. Rather than getting stuck in how you messed up, use your mistakes, weaknesses and missteps to build yourself up. Confidence grows when you make a mistake, correct your course and keep moving  - Trust: Mastering the Four Essentials of Trust I reminded you, my lovies, about my daily ritual, I read something every morning , it helps in preparing and grounding me for the day- it's just my thing, I  am sure you have your own, and if you...

Change often creates problems in our environment. Fear not! Problems are our friends! Without problems we cannot learn. Without problems we have no idea of the depth of the change that is required of us . Iyanla  As cliched as it sounds, change is constant, the very nature of life is change. Why are we still fussing and resisting? We like comfort and control and being a winner. Who says comfort and winning will not happen if there is change?  What about a different approach to it?  Welcome the change, talk to it, ask it some questions, to reveal itself, resisting it will beat you up trust me, it's the resistance that throws one off the bus!  I myself am guilty of the resistance Just when I think I have it all together, that I have the formula, the thing flips.  I get frustrated, mad, I cuss and cry but now I have learnt to welcome it, to have a conversation, to pay attention (usually after the hollering!) Fear not, problems have become my friends, - ...

You can be saved simply by changing your mind. Nothing outside you has to change in order for you to be happy. You can simply choose happiness, right now." And our response, typically? "Hell, no! I won't be happy unless s/he changes first." ACIM I have been practicing something. Changing my state of mind on the spot, just to see this power that I was told that I have been born with. Acknowledging the feeling and then making a decision to change the state Hello................... the thing works The key is acceptance then choice The clarity is in the midst of the confusion The love is in the midst of the conflict Do you have the courage to override , to keep moving forward If you just keep moving forward, the fear will subside, the doubt will subside don't worry about getting rid of it, you can't get rid of thought, it cannot be undone But you don't have to activate it, downloaded it or activate it Deborah L Johnson says - ...

Contrast and differences are necessary teaching aids, for by them you learn what to avoid and what to seek ACIM Hello Lovies I was without Internet access for about 4 days, in between travelling and spending time with my friend Kele  I did not focus on getting to a place with the Wifi Coming to the end of my Journey, I must admit I love the Southern part of Africa, it gives me hope, it demonstrates to me resilience, it also demonstrates promise. Every time I go I am reminded of my responsibility to step up and live my best life, on purpose with purpose This is my favourite lesson as I part Do not put your faith or value in nothingness What rests on nothing can never be secure, what is built on nothing will necer last What is your something-ness? What does that mean for you? Thank you SA! Peace 

There is nothing more validating than belief in yourself and your abilities. If you believe you have the power, the power is yours. There is no credential, certificate or authority beyond the power of a made-up mind. There comes a moment when you must decide that you are going to believe in yourself. When that moment comes, you become aware that outside authority is the icing. Your mind is the cake! Iyanla Vanzant I spent most of the day in the village with Sole, she lives in a homestead with her family of 4 children, the homestead is three huts in a circle, a bathroom and a common area under a huge mango tree fro shade when they sit and talk. Sole invited me into her hut, it was pretty big with radio, TV, and her craft which she makes to sell in the market. Sole is also a farmer. What struck me immediately is the pride and belief. I asked her who taught her the craft. She looked at me puzzled. No one taught me, I learnt it on my own and I am goo. Said as comfortably as her name....

“It is a wholesome and necessary thing for us to turn again to the earth and in the contemplation of her beauties to know the sense of wonder and humility. ”  ―  Rachel Carson ,  The Sense of Wonder Flew to Zimbabwe this morning, talk about blowing the perception and stereotype out of the water! The place is breath taking, pure natural beauty I am staying in a basic lodge, no frills - well Wifi of course and the place is 5 mins away from the Wonder of the World called the Victoria Falls, when I walked into the place I screamed, I probably wasn't this happy in ages, just at peace with nature knowing that all is always well no matter how it looks The people in Zimbabwe that I have met are so friendly, they are really making me feel at home in this place, really glad that I made the effort to come I also crossed the border to Zambia as well, 800 meters from the falls and there I was, so I made the symbolic crossing Dripping with gratitude at being here, I can safely ...

Every time our unconscious is working something out, it calls into our lives the people who have within the pieces of the answer we are seeking. Martin Schulman Here I am 30 hours flying away from my home, minding my own business and heard my name calling as I walked past to get lunch today! Who knows my name? I spin around and it's my friend Kele! OMG Kele I could not believe it, the last time we saw each other was ten years ago as we studied together in Turin Italy. Amazing, so we screamed like babies, she was rushing to meet her baby son who had his birthday, the last time I saw her she had no kids, now she has 3. we exchanged numbers and she promised to come see me today, we met up for a bite to eat and what an amazing human being she has blossomed into, three babies and all This made my trip, I plan to spend time with Ms Kele while I am here and see the babies too! The unpredictability of life makes it so exciting! Peace

" Together, hand in hand, with our matches and our necklaces, we shall liberate this country." Winne Mandela I'm digging Winnie Mandela so much right now, in the month where we celebrate women, I am so very inspired by the strength and persistence, what a warrior! I listened to all the challenges that she went through, how much she persevered. My word! I am totally inspired by it all. What floored me is the standards by which she was judged were harsh but she pressed on Winnie turned down offers to leave South Africa during apartheid to study and live in the USA deciding to stay at home and be of service to her country, she was an activist way before she met her famous husband Nelson Police raids, jail, solitary confinement, you name it! Winnie encountered jail of two weeks whilst pregnant it and is still standing What is my excuse? What is my reason for being lazy? 

Today I am digging up old hurts and putting them to rest! ~~Iyanla Vanzant, I spent the day in Soweto, I drove about 30 minutes from the Sandton area which I was told is the wealthiest square mile in Africa to the Soweto Township! The contrast is stark, yet there is a pride in which the people walk around there. I mean, who can blame them, world leaders such as Desmond Tutu, Winnie Mandela and Nelson Mandela lived amongst them, these people changed the world And that was my takeaway from today, anyone, anyone with the willingness, the courage, the persistence can make a difference, and we are all human, we make mistakes, it's just life I met Tulan, who startd a programme for youths in his mother's backyard, this is now world famous as well, I have no excuse and it starts with my own responsibility and how I choose to live my own life Leave out the excuses, lesson number two, it is just a stalling tactic! Peace

You cannot force, coerce and demand change. Change is a process that unfolds when the individual mind comes into alignment and cooperation with the flow of life and the universe at large. Change is a journey. Change is not linear; meaning if you do this, that will happen. You can never be sure what will change or how it will change. Change is uncertain. Uncertainty gives rise to fear. Change requires vision and strategic planning. Change requires that we work from the top down (from the mind to the heart) and from the bottom up (from the experience to the cause of the experience) at the same time. Change often creates problems in our environment. Fear not! Problems are our friends! Without problems we cannot learn. Without problems we have no idea of the depth of the change that is required of us. Iyanla South Africa to me symbolizes change, I visited here in 2000 and here I am 17 years later, the place is almost unrecognizable, the growth is phenomenal and with change and growth c...

After a 30 hour journey including a layover in NYC I arrived in Johannesburg South Africa, having been invited to the Global Entrepreneurship Conference week long programme. We are staying at Sandton which is supposedly the richest square mile on the Continent and I can tell why, the place is a hub of activity, banks, shopping malls, hotels, financial companies. Really impressive, I am very impressed by the friendliness and the willingness of everyone here to assist. I missed the activities today I really don't believe that I will be much use to me or anyone having been on the road since Saturday. Tomorrow I will be up front and center as I learn about how women entrepreneurs are supported in South Africa! Stay tuned Akosua

you are giving away your power when you please others in order to fit in. Or when you follow the opinions of the crowd. Or when you decide that others matter more than you do. Or when you let someone who seems to have more power take charge of you. It can often seem right—or proper—to sit modestly in the background, holding accepted opinions, living for your children, or letting a controlling spouse run roughshod over you in order to keep the peace. In small and large ways, however, these kinds of decisions reduce your sense of self-worth, and without self-worth, you cannot rid yourself of your powerlessness . Deepak Chopra The theme for this year's International Women's Day Celebrations is Be Bold For Change, over the last few days at any of the forums that I have been at the question comes up what does being bold mean to me, Deepak's quote above really brought it home for me, it is the simple things that we do and then they become habit that makes us feel powerless, ...

So when you’re feeling grounded, rooted, and strong, really think about to whom you can give your strength. The beautiful thing about it is that giving it away doesn’t deplete you, it reinforces your power, bringing light to yourself and to the person who needs it. So, figure out who needs your strength today and shine a bit of love their way. You’ll become stronger. Maxi McCoy I was billed to speak at the International Women's Day Celebration at the Hyatt Regency for ACCA Caribbean - the Chartered Association of Certified Accountants, I was quite nervous, but determined to give it my all and all The host for the day was one of the top morning show TV hosts in the country and she sat next to me. We did the small talk and she introduced me to the audience, I went up did my thing and came off the stage where she pulled me aside, "I want you on my show" "Wow" "When can you come?" "Next month" "Can you come this week?" ...

Having your own manifesto is very important. Mine involves making sure that my work is authentic and true and honest.  Intention is very, very important. And if you don’t think about that, deeply, it will show in your work eventually.  Waarsan  The International Women's Day conversations were not only enlightening, they were eye opening and sometimes raw We women just really want to be free to do what we believe is best for ourselves, our sisterhood and our family, add that all up and it equals that we want to do what is best for our world This is what I took away from all the conversations that I had the privileged to be in but things get in the way, in fact, we LET things get in the way Number One thing - FEAR Fear of 1. Being wrong 2. Rejection 3. Looking dumb 4. Losing money 5. Losing face 6. Being a rabble rouser 7. Making others unconfortable 8. Uncertainty And the list goes on Newsflash, shit happens Do you And don't apolog...

It is easy to conform, to quietly give in But for those of us convinced in the greatness that lies within us, those who have chosen paths very uncommon we quiet the noise by fearlessly disrupting what is - Ijeoma Today around the world International Women's Day is celebrated. I join in to celebrate my sisters, my mothers, my elders, my ancestors Listen, I don't take the strides for granted- AT ALL My grandmother - one of my favorite people in the whole wide world told me that she was asked to not go to secondary school - she was offered a place at one of the best schools in the country - to alloow her big brother to go, girls had no business going to school, she told me that she read her brother's books - who did not get a free place- did his homework and shadowed him all through secondary school My grandmother told me that when she started working in an office she was the only woman, there were no toilets for women and the boss told her use the men's restroom o...

I open my heart and mind to be aware...that I am the matter that matters! Matter is anything that has weight and occupies space. The only thing standing between you and exactly what you want is space. The question is, ARE YOU WILLING TO BE THE MATTER THAT OCCUPIES THIS SPACE? You can choose to fill the space with what you need. Or you can choose to fill the space with what you lack, fear or you could fill the space with what might not happen or what cannot happen. Or  you could find the courage to fill the space with the holy boldness of "I can because I am; I will, because I am!" In the space that stands between you and exactly what you want, there is the fullness of God. The question is, how do you see the space? Have you placed the matters of others in this space? Do you see your place in the space? Do you see your joy in the space? Do you see God's grace, God's mercy, God's light and God's love in the space? Perhaps you see a risk that you can't...

Honestly! If you’re failing a couple of times, you are not doing something right. You know, it’s like, what is life but risk? The only way to make great things is to actually take risk. We should all feel more comfortable with failure.” Bozoma Saint John I've made peace with the fact that there may be some things that I will fail at, the thought of failing no longer sends me into a tail spin of depression and comparison. It's just life, how absolutely freeing! It's freedom I tell you Me re framing the idea that in giving my all to something with faith and hard work and it turns out differently made ME a failure! Its only feedback saying do something else, do something different, check the lessons and be fully present. But we want to prove people and maybe ourselves right, we misinterpret perseverance and persistence with proving people wrong and being embarrassed and "shame" No shame in my game when I pay attention to the signs and to the feedback The who...

People are who they are and do what they do whether you like it or agree with them We all have different lessons to learn We each take a different path to our lessons There are times when someone's path will cross your path and cause you to stumble and fall That does not make them wrong. That does not make you right The only thing a judgement does is distract you from what it is you must do yourself- Until Today I like to have my own way- My mother used to say to me growing up "Chile you too own way" which meant I always wanted things my way, or I would sulk and be quite unpleasant Now that I am grown I realized that I am not unique in this regard seems to me that, everyone wants what they want when they want it! The trick is how do we handle the differences I have learnt that judging other people by saying what they "SHOULD" be doing - it does not work! Who are we to should on people? We don't know the full story! Acceptance is a hell of a thin...

One shot to your heart without breaking your skin No one has the power to hurt you like your kin Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself And now your chest burns and your back aches From 15 years of holding the pain And now you only have yourself to blame If you continue to live this way Get it together You wanna heal your body You have to heal your heart Whatsoever you sow you will reap Get it together India Arie What I absolutely love about me taking responsibility for my life is that I get to choose how to move forward, I need not depend on anyone to make that choice. This is not to say that I will not require support and a village, it just says that I don't have to outsource my happiness, and my own choices You see, outsourcing it allows for blame, and blame takes away accountability and responsibility. Own it Live it Feel it Be responsible and do the work Watch how your body heals,watch how your relationships heal, watch...

Truthing  isn’t necessarily easier to do, but it brings incredible ease to your life. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The courage, the classy delivery, the compassionate humour, it all becomes more accessible when you’re using your voice everyday . Danielle LaPorte What do you use your voice for? How do you use your voice? Do you see or believe that your voice is of any use at all?  Does it even matter? I am always told that I don't talk much (well except when I am on a stage doing ma thang!) I internalized that and sometimes I would remain quiet for fear of pissing people off or perhaps saying the wrong thing and they wouldn't like me, I grew up thinking that, then I was introduced to books by Maya Angelou who did not speak for years, many years, believing that her voice caused the death of a person, when she did realize that the voice is powerful and a gift well the rest as they say is history. Most of us have the gift, what do we d...

Personal change cannot be accomplished by technology. It requires commitment, persistence, determination and PATIENCE! Inner Visions Institute Today I want to share an exercise which I did at the beginning of the year. I realized that I had to make some adjustments and it was really up to me to undo since I did it in the first place, it was my responsibility This exercise is taken from Louise Hay's absolutely must read book called "You Can Heal Your Life" "Think of a moment about something in your life you want to change. Go to the mirror and look into your eyes and say out loud - I Have Created This Condition and I am Now Willing to Release The Patters in My Consciousness that is Responsible for This Condition Say it several times with feeling Ask yourself if you really mean it Convince yourself in the mirror that this time you are ready to step out of the knowledge of the past" One of the great things is that we do not have to know HOW ...