What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Many of us living relatively (or blatantly) privileged lives have created our own nouveau religion: Materialism. It’s as pervasive as any of the major world religions. And we fight, and kill, and steal, and pillage, and lie for our right to profit and consume. Same shit, different deity—the deity of the dollar (or yen, or euro…). Our mass consumption has become a weapon of mass destruction—fashioned from lies about so-called success and happiness. These lies take a damaging toll on our self-esteem, and we keep trying to inflate our worth with more stuff, more attention, more stimulation. In the Cult of Materialism, reverence for simplicity and basic consideration is a courageous act. Danielle La Porte How do you define success?  What does success look like to you? What about abundance?  What is abundance and how does it look? Does it look like something? A particular item? A feeling? An experience? At a meeting yesterday I sat listening to the conversation. The marke...

People need truth the way they need air. They’re desperate for it. Even when you risk rejection, telling your truth clears the field for others to tell theirs. Glennon Doyle Mellon People ask me how or even why did I share "all my business" in my first book "What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love"  How could I not? It really did honestly set me free, it set me on a path clearing the way for others to live their own truth and for me, that is one of the most powerful things that I have ever experienced. Living your truth requires guts, it requires courage and most importantly it requires feeling ALL of your feelings Courage and guts because you will not always be liked, accepted or the most popular. You will sometimes do things against the grain, you may feel like a failure but its all part of the journey Love is never wasted and all things are lessons that God will have us learn So, live your truth, do what brings you joy...

Avoidance denial and repression cannot help you It's the most life-strengthening gift you'll ever give yourself...to see what you've been refusing to see. To deal in order to heal. Every day you keep yourself from looking that shit square in the eyes is a day you keep yourself exactly where you are. Maxie McCoy I drove up to the venue, I saw coaches and buses off loading people. I asked the security if this is the venue I was looking for. "Yes Ma'am" I start a semi panic - this event is not small- AT ALL! Note to self- pay attention So I park the car and sit in it talking to myself "What's it gonna be love?, What you come here to do baby girl?" "Ain't this is what you asked for? To share your story to as many people as possible?" "Now you gonna be scared? Be scared but get on that stage and show up" "Okay, I'm on it like I want it" I get out of the car, knees knocking,...

that the possibility of making an error should never, ever stop you from doing anything. Don't ever be afraid of "not getting it right." In truth, there is no "right" way of doing anything...there is only the way you are doing it. So go ahead. Do it. Nothing wonderful has ever been accomplished by anyone who was worried sick about it not being wonderful. ACIM I have a big event to speak at tomorrow, I was under the impression that I was the only speaker (not that I asked a question, it was just my assumption- drawbacks of not asking questions) Anyhoo, the programme was emailed to me and I looked at it and said OMG! This is bigger than I thought! Should I switch up my speech? Should I get a brand spanking new outfit, and I started shoulding on myself!  Pep talk time - you asked for this, you chose this, no one forced you, so take a breath and just go out there and do your best in the moment with the intention of sharing your story, shar...

To gain you must give, not bargain. To bargain is to limit giving, and this is not God's Will. To will with God is to create like Him. God does not limit His gifts in any way. You are His gifts, and so your gifts must be like His. Your gifts to the Kingdom must be like His gifts to you. ACIM  I love Kyle Jones's work, it resonates with me on so many levels! I wanted to share this piece with you. Rather your relationship lasted a couple of weeks or twenty years, breaking up leads to feeling heartbreak and rejection. At times, these feelings make you question getting involved in a relationship again. - You questioning getting involved in a relationship again is fear-based. You have relationship trauma needing healing. - Without healing relationship trauma: * you settle for lustful experiences rather than loving experiences * you get in a relationship, but keep entertaining other potential options – just in case your relationship ends * you do anything to please your part...

Choice terrifies people. Most of us will do anything to postpone making a choice, terrified of the consequence, terrified of being held accountable for the consequences, choice is a fundamental power of the human experience - Carolyn Myss Pay attention when you have to make a choice, start with the simple things, someone may ask you to go to lunch, where do you want to eat. Watch your response "Oh Wherever I don't know" "You choose" the small things turn into the big things Your little decisions add up Your choices, each and every one, have a consequence, even your "non-choices" Make a decision, take a risk What keeps us stuck is fear, shame and looking back and what happened back then, back there, to determine what and how to move forward That's in the past, you may not even be in the same position, be the same person. Do not use the past as your compass for making a decision Do not use fear, shame and what if your choice is a supe...

Every response you make is determined by what you think you are, and what you want to be is what you think you are. What you want to be, then, must determine every response you make ACIM.  Actions, it's your actions that show  who who are. End of story I really am not so much concerned by your words, words are easy to say. It's your actions that tell me who you are Your actions reveal to me how you value yourself, and I have learnt how one values themselves shows me how I am to move forward in my interaction with you! Hurt and scared people show that they are calling out for love - That they have forgotten who they are and so act on their own "so called strength" or maybe they just don't know who they are and act from that space When you forget or don't know that you are  1. Enough 2. A Child of the Source of All things 3. Loved 4. Have nothing to prove 5. Have nothing to fear Your actions show that From today, remember who you are,...

Rest assured that control is in control when: You are fighting to prove you are right You will lie to prove you are right You are yelling in order to be heard You won't say anything believing you won't be heard The only view that make sense is yours The only thing that maters is what matters to you You are still giving reasons WHY after someone has said no You think if someone get what they need or want you will not get what you want or need You jump on someone's "case" to keep them off of your "case" You believe someone can hurt or harm you and you are trying to avoid it Until Today Surrender takes courage. Not the give up surrender, not the resignation and throw your hands up in the air thinking what's the point surrender, neither do I mean the detached I don't give a damn attitude type either I am talking here about the type of surrender when you know, when you know for sure that it renders you even downright peaceful, people ...

We think that the more we have, the happier we will be. We never know what tomorrow might bring, so we collect and save as much as we can. This means we need a lot of money, so we gradually start judging people by how much money they have. You convince yourself that you need to make a lot of money so you don’t miss out on success. And for you to make money, you need everyone else to spend their money. And so it goes. Fumio Sasaki The more we have, the more we feel valued is what is sold to us.From all angles, the better handbag we own, the faster car, the brand name show, the high end TV, the house on the hill- all nice I will agree.however when we make it or base or value and worth on having these things then therein lies the challenge All of those "things" are fleeting and when we base our worth and value on having things it usually leads to problems, we accumulate things it makes us happy for a while and then we realize there is a better thing, a shinier thing, an up...

One must be fueled by something that runs deeper than praise and positivity, or put downs and negativity. One must find inspiration from both the energy that leads some to dislike, and others to become infatuated. And at all times one must remain connected to one's very own source enough to maintain oneself. Maintenance. One must be the caretaker of self. A caregiver for health. The being in the mirror is always you. Natalie  Stewart The very thing that I run from I must face- with everything. So why not remain still for a minute and face it?  Because of Fear- plain and simple And why run? Fear! Fear of what? The list starts with fear of pissing people off, fear of letting myself down and ends with  again, fear of pissing people off And why is pissing people off such a fear I thought about that question and the fear of pissing people off goes back to when I was a child I could not bear "pissing off" my father, I  really just could not bear it, his res...

Delaying Tactics 1. I'll do it later 2. I can't think right now 3. I don't have the time right now 4.It would take too much time away from work 5. Yes, that's a good idea I will do it some other time 6. I have too many other things to do 7. I'll think about it tomorrow 8. As soon as I get through with _______ 9. As soon as I get back from this trip 10. The time isn't right 11. Its too late or too soon Louise Hay Ask Yourself Do you have any delaying tactics? Do you even know they are delaying tactics? Do you even care that you have delaying tactics? Do you want to continue having delaying tactics? Peace .

If you think you’re defective or in need of fixing (which is the biggest lie of all), you will most definitely attract lovers, teachers, preachers, and politicians who want to so-called “love” you, and “fix” you, and “lead” you Danielle La Porte Today I ran a 10k race. This was probably the second ever 10k race I have done ever, before I would walk half and run half. I decided to push myself, my goal was to run the entire thing no stopping. I came in second from last with my best ever time in a race. I was so happy, mainly because I ran all the way and when I saw the time on the big clock at the finish line I thought wow, that is not bad. Even in finishing close to the last I thought, all of the participants are runners, that's what they do, they run and they train to run. I thought about how much it makes a difference with who you surround yourself with, if I surround myself with people who are pushing it, doing it, been there and done it, then I learn, I get better and I...

Let's stick to understandin and we won't fall For better or worse times, I hope to me you call So I pray everyday more than anything friends will stay as we begin to lay this foundation for a family - love ain't simple Why can't it be anything worth having you work at annually Granted we known each other for some time It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine - Common  Women have this gift called intuition - a guiding light or a guiding voice which usually comes as a whisper heard most when there is little "noise", it never leaves us, never leads us astray and is seldom logical I believe men have some sort of guide as well, but I am not a man, never been one,  so I cannot say for sure When we know, we know One of the most harmful things you can do to yourself is acting as if you don't know when you know Listen, that is a recipe for some drama When you know and you act like you don't know for whatever reason, keeping the peace, not ...

Always searchin' for the real thing Livin' like it's far away Just leave all the madness in yesterday You're holdin' the key, When you believe it - Sweet Freedom by Micheal McDonald When you believe it- you will grow When you believe it - you will start that business When you believe it- you will practice self care When you believe it - you will leave that abusive relationship When you believe it - you will leave that job to pursue your dreams When you believe it - you will write that book When you believe it - .................. (fill in the blanks) You get what you believe not what you wish and hope and only talk about  Your actions, words and faith must be in complete alignment and that starts with the belief. Self Belief - there are some days where you will have to walk alone, to encourage yourself, to rest, to get still Be ready to do that - those states are not indicators to stop and give up You are the magic, the magic baby! Peace

Patience has never been one of my finer virtues. Like many of us, I’m used to all this quick and instant stuff. Fast responses. Immediate feedback. Instant connections. But I do trust one thing: beautiful things can take time. Lots of time. Maxi Mc Coy Someone once told me if I want to know what patience is go to the bank on the date when the pension cheques are being distributed and stand in the line, apart from the number of people in the line, the people in the line also move slowly. I laughed when I heard it but I actually did it. Nothing to do but wait! I gave myself 2 years to reach a goal, 2 years to sell a certain number of books, 3 years have passed, and I am no where near it. I started getting anxious and doubtful and depressed and eating way too much chocolate The definition of patience that resonate with me the most is "Inner Calm in the midst of outer chaos An Act of total surrender to the Divine Order" Total Surrender - complete and unequivocal accepta...

Do what you have to do, but in the meantime accept what is - Eckhart Tolle How many of us do things without questioning them? Ok so I know there are some things that one must do, obey the law etc I am not talking about that I am referring to the things you do because 1. "that's just how it is done" 2. " It's always be done like that" 3." It's a family thing" 4. " to look good" 5. " to keep the peace" 6. " the neighbors do it and we should do it to" 7. " the white people says it's good to do" 8. "the black people makes it cool" 9. " to get ahead" I may have brought this up already - what is your why? Is it following blindly, people pleasing, automatic pilot doing? I am suggesting questioning the why when it falls into this category, keep an open mind and a willing spirit, Questioning core beliefs have changed my journey and many others. it opens up new worlds and ne...

You can be brave + tender. You can be strong + cry. You can be scared + courageous . Stacey Herrera Today I was all of that and I am still standing  Giving thanks for my feelings and e-motions (energy in motion) to remind me that I am still here, still human, still growing, still learning, still woman Peace

Romantic Love is not a competitive sport. You're running your own race. We don't dig or not dig people based on a comparison chart or body measurement and intellectual achievements and personal quirks We dig them because we do - Cheryl Strayed After an event I attended yesterday, a buddy of mine and I went to have a beverage at a nearby spot. We were having the usual buddy chats, laughing eating some high calorie foods ,as you do on these outings, then out of left field she asked "don't you ever want children and a family?" "where did that come from?" This was now me thinking and having to face a topic that has been in the recesses, no basement, of my mind and soul for a very long time Do I really love being alone or is it just fear of being hurt again or what was it? Honestly, I really had to get still to figure it out The initial fear creeped in "is there something that I am doing wrong, am I doing anything at all?" What's u...

If you think you’re defective or in need of fixing (which is the biggest lie of all), you will most definitely attract lovers, teachers, preachers, and politicians who want to so-called “love” you, and “fix” you, and “lead” you Danielle La Porte The biggest lie I have ever heard is that I was born in and of sin. I mean, how can I be created in God's image and likeness be born of sin? That's me starting behind the bell curve from the get go And there is where the lies started I was born and have something wrong with me and so I must look towards others to fix me That led now to me looking for everything outside of me to fix me, to heal me to love me Me - who God created - in God's image and likeness,  Me - God's child in whom God is well pleased I forgot that, I lived in that state of forgetfulness and acted from there looking for others to save me, to love me, to validate me, to make me, to pump me up Me - who God created  Me - who God said gr...

Freethinkers are those who are willing to use their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges, or beliefs. This state of mind is not common, but it is essential for right thinking. – Leo Tolstoy Differences are all around, different cultures, different beliefs, different journeys. That is part of the journey. It's a given. Byron Katie says it well "when you argue with reality you suffer". The challenges arise when we want to be right, to want to convert others, to prove that we are right and they are wrong. Feeling out of control when others do not agree with you, so much so, that you go out of your way to prove them wrong Spend that same time and energy in a space of respect and open mindedness What are you trying to prove? Is it that one differing opinion will throw your world so out of kilter that you will move from a space of respect and love to dishonor? What are you trying to prove? Is...

It's not that the universe isn't giving you the people and the opportunities that are perfect for you; it's that you're missing them if you don't show up fully, and if you're not present because you're looking for the next best thing instead of showing up for what's right in front of you. If you feel like something's missing from your life, it's missing more of YOU! Your presence, your focus, your energy, your love, your kindness,… Only what you are not giving can be lacking in any situation. ACIM Hello Lovies Confession time on the journey Over the past few weeks I have been focused - but focused on what's next, what's to come, what I must do "after" and truth be told, this has been draining me. I just cannot get enough or feel that I am in a comfortable space, I wrote down goals, and then I wrote down how I want my life to look in 2017. I read them both (for the record, how I want my life to look is so much more p...

Going all in doesn't mean changing everything over night. Going all in can simply mean you're 100 percent committed to figuring out all the possible arrangements to eventually make your dream a reality. And that's how dreams work. Look for creative ways things can be done gradually, while still committing fully to your investment. Your "why" can be all in without your "how" being abrupt or haste. Maxi I had the opportunity to speak yesterday at an event called Sunset Talks hosted by the Coterie Association. As I was waiting to speak I looked around the room I saw black of white photos of only women, it caught my eye. I was curious. As I did my talk, the Q&A session after was a total lesson in my country's history, these women were trail blazers, 90% of them were retired and served this country with love and service. I started feeling more and more honored and humbled to be asked to speak and get the opportunity to meet them. How importa...

You can’t move on to a new life until you unpack the old one—or burn it down to the ground. You can’t leap from hurt to clarity, or from anger to absolution. You have to walk there, one revelatory, resentful, intentional step at a time. The heart runs on its own clock, untethered from calendar days or years.   Danielle La Porte Over the past few days, it seems that my past have been coming up into the present I know there is a reason for it, and truth be told it could be that I have to make some decisions or get out of my own way I admit, it ain't easy closing the door especially when I am unconsciously going through life "looking to make it", when I am just going along, my life reflects that I am a firm believer that nothing comes into my life uninvited and so with that I have to take responsibility for some part of these resurrections I have been avoiding a serious conversation, until I have it, the situation will remain I have been avoiding sp...

Nothing comes into your experience uninvited. It comes into our experience because we want it or because we don’t want it. So what do you want? Micheal Beckwith Hello Lovies Some people act as if their life is not their responsibility! Newsflash - your life is your responsibility! You are owed nothing but deserve everything- breathe that in  for a moment. So that job you are in and you hate the boss or the roles - it's your responsibility to make a change The relationship that is bugging you out- your responsibility to make a change The life you live - no one is going to save you, give you anything on a platter- you can respond accordingly Remember - responsibility is your ability to respond There are things that may be totally out of your control that happens what you do have is the ability to respond- that's all you Your life, Your Responsibility It really is that simple Peace

Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be—a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation—with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.  Brene Browne The willingness to do something new is quite a recent mindset that I have adopted, I realized that putting labels on myself limited my life. This mindset started small and grew, so much so that I really feel bold and unafraid in doing many many new things - once I start it. Standing on the sidelines overthinking it - not a good idea! I would be able to justify anything, any rationale for not doing it including "it's not the right time", "what is for you will be for you" - all used as excuses really! So ...