Love does not ask us to lose ourselves
I will know love when I realize...my life is the sacred and holy ground of love!
It is not loving to stay in a place or an experience where you are happy sometimes, sad most of the time. It is not loving to convince yourself that it is okay to stay in a place where you are not loved, honored and valued the way your heart tells you you deserve to be...
Love does not ask us to lose ourselves, harm ourselves or sacrifice ourselves for its sake. Love offers itself to us, measure for measure, what we offer it... Iyanla
Someone asked me yesterday if loving someone includes feeling pain and hurt and if not what is love
I had to stop and think for a hot minute. This was in a conversation about choices of our friends and more importantly our partner
For me love does not hurt. Simple
There may be actions that happen which we do not agree and it may hurt our feelings however in a relationship that is bound in love there is a separation with the the event. And the love gives us the courage and the opportunity to talk about and share how we feel.
We all know when we are settling - settling meaning in a situation where we know this is not exactly what we know our heart's desire but just either too scared, too frightened, too ignorant (not aware), too comfortable to make a move or a change
So when we are in that settled space, we make excuses, rationales, reasons, justification for the space we are in
"He/she is a good person underneath it all"
"It's the kids. the children"
"I have responsibilities and bills"
"I will embarrass my family"
"I am a free spirit"
" It's just who I am, it's just how it is"
"I'm working on it"
"When the time is right"
And the beat goes on
So how do we move beyond the reasons, excuses, rationales, justification for settling
According to Iyanla - we must do the work
the work for me is the willingness to move, to take a risk, being aware of the situation as it IS AT THE MOMENT and making a firm decision
You deserve more than dregs
You are divine