What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

You give meaning to everything in your life. No situation comes with a label good or bad. Everything is neutral   ACIM The Olympic fever sort of overtook my mind for the past few days, its all pretty exciting seeing and feeling all the greatness and inspiration. Best moment for me yesterday was the women's basketball between France and Australia, last seconds France was up and out of nowhere a shot from almost the other end of the court went it! Awesomeness all round! Anyways, life goes on and today I was having a moment and I remembered meeting a woman in India. I've learned that there are no coincidences in life, its all part of your path the people we meet and you meet them most times to learn something about yourself, some lesson, most times we are not paying attention. So I saw this woman and she looked like my grandmother I was most intrigued and I approached her, she said I am from South Africa and here to learn from these women here also. We started talking...

It is merely up to you whether you learn from joy or from pain, the key to happiness is the DECISION to be happy. Marianne Williamson author of A Return to Love Joy! What brings you joy? Do you know? Do you do what brings you joy on a daily basis or are you waiting for someone, something or sometime to bring you joy? One of the best definitions of joy I've heard is that it's a feeling that comes from within, it lives in you. Joy is a state of mind and being that feeds and nurtures the soul, it's a state of elation. I learnt that everyday to go for the joy! Watching football brings me joy, eating hot coconut bake brings me joy, working and learning from women  entrepreneurs and young women brings me joy, listening to music brings me joy, boxing brings me joy, chocolate brings me joy, reading brings me joy, being around the Queens Park Savannah in Trinidad brings me joy, eating a doubles with coconut...

What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead. Cherie Carter-Scott. Scott is an author, life coach, and motivational speaker The Olympics for the first time ever have women included from all countries and competing in all events! Historic and timely. I am very proud to be here to celebrate this moment and salute all those who made this happen! I have recently started boxing myself so I am really keen to see the women's boxing events ( They call me Sugar! my right hand is tough!!!) I hear my trainer all the time saying stay focused, stay on your toes, bob...

You have greatness in you, but greatness is a choice. Choose you, this day who you're going to serve, the greatness in you or the mediocrity in you! Les Brown motivational speaker I am extremely fortunate to be in the UK for the Olympics and so far I have been totally inspired by what I have seen! I'm off to my first event tomorrow thanks to a wonderful friend and angel!!! Can you imagine training for YEARS for one thing. Can you imagine the persistence, dedication, love, challenges  to overcome, the uncertainty, the passion that it takes for YEARS for a ten second event, a five minute run, an hour's match? That to me, is absolutely inspiring and awesome!!! I salute the participants at the Olympics. How many times have I started something two weeks will pass and I say hmm I'm done with this, no results!! We live in an instant age now in that everything is quick, I can communicate with my friends back home in Trinidad immediately, I can pay a bill in two secon...

I fully realize that no wealth of position can long endure, unless built upon truth and justice; therefore, I will engage in no transaction which does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me, because of my willingness to serve others. I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealously, selfishness, and cynicism, by developing love for all humanity, because I know that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success. I will cause others to believe in me, because I will believe in them, and in myself." Napolean Hill Another question from one of the ladies - how much do you value YOU? Huh?  I'm like what am I worth? No, what's the value of YOU to YOU? What type of question is that? Have a think about it. I went away thinking HARD!!! She said I was offered a job to manage a project I watched the package I said I've arrived! F...

LACK OF PERSISTENCE. Most of us are good "starters" but poor "finishers" of everything we begin. Moreover, people are prone to give up at the first signs of defeat. There is no substitute for PERSISTENCE. The person who makes PERSISTENCE his watch-word, discovers that "Old Man Failure" finally becomes tired, and makes his departure. Failure cannot cope with PERSISTENCE - Napolean Hill Author of Think and Grow Rich So I've learnt that if you want an empowered life you have to be able to cope with being told NO! What happens when someone tells me NO to something I want or something I asked for? Well, I had this big gun talk saying that NO means Next Opportunity, it means Next, Not right now and I would say hey I eat No's for snacks! But I realised that I still have some way to go with this No thing! I had an experience recently where someone told me NO and it wasn't pretty, I had to forgive myself  and apologize after I regressed into this t...

She asked me the question " Are you living random or are you living on purpose?" Huh? Whatever is she on about? I laughed, but inside I'm thinking wow what type of question is that? Am I living on random? What's random living? I ask a lot of questions I was told! Random living, you are unconsiously moving through this gift of life that you were given, following, doing what you think that you ought to be doing to make others happy, not rocking the boat, smiling and grinning, following the safe path, no risks, pleasing the masses,  playing the game,do you have an open mind? Are you living random? Damm! where did she come from asking me this question? I got quiet. That moment was the catalyst of the change of so many things in my life. I decided that I want to live on purpose, but how? I had no clue. I thought about it and believe me everything started to change  people in life started to change, different opportunites started to appear, I resisted and I forgot th...

You were born with potential You were born with goodness and trust You were born with ideals and dreams You were born with greatness You were born with wings You are not meant for crawling, so don't You have wings Learn to use them and fly!" - Rumi . Rumi was a 13th Century Sufi Mystic. How is it that people who have absolutely  little or no material possesions, education, ok let's go even more basic running water, toilets and more than three pieces of clothes rise out of that situation to create a successful business? I keep asking myself this question when seeing some of the things I have seen. Well this is the conclusion that I have come to, they have a vision, they want a better a life, they absolutely refuse to be a victim! Get a vision and get it quick! No matter what, they carry on, so what's our excuse. One of my favourite writers Iyanla says " we are stuck in the story" so tell a different story. I said to myself "what is this w...

Be willing to go alone. Many who started with you won't finish with you . Tony A. Gaskins Jr. Sometimes you have to get the courage to go it alone, sometimes you're going to piss people off, they are not going to agree with everything that you do but you have to be ok with that. I've learnt that people pleasing is most times a fear of losing love. I said yes to everything I was asked, I found a way to do it, I look for solutions. In my relationship, I was the doer, the dream was hatched and brought to me to execute, I've also learnt you need to keep your dreams no matter what! thats a non negotiable. Find the courage to stop the bus, to put some people off!  Be 100% self approved, Its ok. I was told "Get a good job, grow up", "what are you doing?" but its now nonnegotiable do what brings you joy! So what did I learn today? Sometimes you have to be willing to walk by yourself for a minute. Sometimes your homegirl or homeboy, your mama or dad...

Your human spirit is unshakeable, unbreakable & untouchable - Lisa Nicols Author of best selling book No Matter What!  Is it really about survival? Is it about a biggger vision? In India I just keep getting more and more amazed. Visited the AWAKE Icubator (Association of Women's Entrepreneuer's of Karnataka) and looked at what they were doing. Simplicity is really the essence of class! These women were making chutneys in their area on their own and decided to come together as one group. They said ok maybe as a group we can do better, they saved and saved and saved, got a small room ,bought used equipment, went to courses to learn about packaging, selling and marketing and now a few years later have a successful group of women exporting their chutneys and peppers! It was a challenging journey. The incubator is now up and running where other women can come use the machinery, learn about packaging, have mentors and a sounding board, everyone benefits!! So what...

Is there ever a time when you are a giver and not a taker?    have you ever thought about something bigger than your own survival? Is there anything you believe in anything that you sweat for that you live for that you will commit yourself to is there something that you love other than yourself? Is there not a cause? . Bishop T.D Jakes I received an email asking me if I would be interested in coming to India to share my experiences and learn from thir women on using entreprenuership as an empowerment vehicle! Oh yeah of course I want to come just say when!!! So they sent me the details and told me the most important thing to walk with is an open mind! huh?? Ok then but I thought my mind was fairly open! So they sent the schedule and lo and behold I would have to do a presentation (always something I try to avoid due to fear!!!) anyways small price to pay for going to India and seeing the phenomenal work being done there by the women. Arrived in Bangalore via Delhi and ...

 Every thought we think is either an extension of love or a projection of fear- Deepak Chopra The experts say that the average person has about 60,000 thoughts per day! Now add one thought to that and make it 60,001 and think about how many of your thoughts are negative! That's a lot of negativity that you alone  are producing! So having learnt that, I started paying attention to my thoughts, no not all 60,000!!! But generally I started asking myself what are you thinking about? Trust me, that whole change your thoughts thing it works!! The challenge is when you find yourself in the midst, in the middle of a negative self sabotaging thought what do you do? I can say without a doubt that what's in your mind manifests itself in your life. Deepak Chopra talks about recognising it and replacing it with a more positive thought, the other experts say don't beleive and buy into the negativity. It takes practice and it takes courage and it takes responsibility! You hae to b...

Get a mission statement for your Life. Know where you want to go. Know why you want to go there. Then create the plan to get there. My mission: Live good and spread Love. What's the mission statement for your Life ? Robin Riley Harris author of Choose Happiness I did get a mission statement for my life, I followed Robin's advice and as soon as I did boy oh boy things started to change! I mean drastically! And of course when things start changing what  do we automatically do? Hold on for dear life! Resist! So what I've learnt is the Universe always says yes, watch what you put out there, put out crap, it says yes, put out good stuff, it says yes. Be prepared, be willing, be open because if you didnt ask for it consciously you did unconsciously So what did I learn today? Being afraid of things going wrong isn't the way to make things go right. Sometimes something going wrong is what puts you in the right frame of mind. Being right all the time can be the...

" Accept - then ACT. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it, always work with is, not against it...." Eckhart Tolle I kept repeating it, this is not the way it should be! I cannot accept this! Unacceptable! That was the mantra and the more I said it the more anxious I became! Then right on cue like the Universe just presented me with this Tolle quote. I was like what on earth does he mean? Accept it as if I had chosen it nah sah!!! but I decided to keep an open mind because being anxious really wasn't cutting it and helping the situation!!! I decided to try it and really when you stop resisting you really become empowered to respond and not react, to make a conscious choice!! Awesome!! So What did I learn today? I do not have to like what is going on in my life but I must accept that it, whatever it is, is going on. As long as I don’t accept reality I am powerless to define the role I will play. Failure to accept reality is a d...

"Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced." - Swami Vivekananda , was responsible for bringing Yoga to the west Have you ever had an idea that just wouldn't go away? You even start to dream about it, you just cannot get it out of your mind! You try to rationalise with yourself, you give all the logical reasons to yourself that its just a silly idea, that it will pass soon, like its some sort of pain or irritation! The idea was on my mind for months, I sat on a flight from London to Trinidad and wrote out the entire programme for NiNa- Young Entrepreneur's Programme. My logical brain said, it will never be accepted by the Ministry of Education how would I fund it, how will it work? All the reasons why it wouldn't w...

The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen. Cherie Carter-Scott. Scott is an author, life coach, and motivational speaker offers consulting and coaching on all aspects of change management The experts say changing your mind is all there is to changing your circumstances. To be honest I j...

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. They way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do in order to have what you want." - Margaret Young , was a popular singer and comedienne in the United States in the 1920s. Faith - I think you only learn when you have been tested. I mean when things are going great, running smoothly its really easy street but trust me when you come up with a stumbling block wow this is the real test! I've heard that your faith must stand trial and I can now testify! Truth be told up to now life was a breeze, I had it pretty nice!! so here comes challenges to test my character, first leg of the journey, ended up in Manchester. Literally down to my last pounds and still learning about asking for help I was like ok time to pull out the faith! The teaching job was sup...

When you give to others to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you make the other person a thief." — Iyanla Vanzant, paraphrasing A Course in Miracles Have you ever known something for sure and then you spoke to your friends or your family and they convinced you that you didn't know? Then it turned out that you were right? I've learnt that your friends and family, all with good intentions, cannot live your life for you, 90 percent of people want you to live their idea. You just have to live your own life. 100% self approved! Why because there's a voice within you that only you can hear, it guides you and its hardly hardly ever wrong! My inner voice, my gut told me that I should pursue the Women's Entrepreneurship work, other voices said, all in love, how will you pay your bills?, how will you live? Truth be told it is a challenge however this path I will not change for the world. So What did I learn today ? Trust yourself. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT: Your g...

" If you want things to happen give it your best and your best will give you what you want. Believe in yourself or no one else will" Marala Scott Award winning author of In our House: Perception vs. Reality So I asked the people in Canada what do you want me to do? They said well you lead the panel discussion and then you and the panel come up with recommendations which we will use to affect policy for women entrepreneurs. I was thinking I've never done that before but isn't that what you always wanted to do? Right there and then I said this dreams do come true is real now all I have to do is execute! I was excited and super scared but guess what if you are not feeling that way about your dreams then its too comfortable!! I went I did it and it was easier than I thought because when you are doing what you love, what is your passion trust me it never ever feels like work! (navigating the minus 2 degree weather trying to look cute was tougher!) What's the dr...

"My first advice is to say YES. In fact, say yes as often as you can. Saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to new experiences and new experiences will lead to knowledge and wisdom" Michael Hogan, President of the University of Connecticut What would you do if you were not afraid? This is a question I now ask myself often! Why? Having believed and conditioned from a long time that I am a "quiet, shy nice girl" I really did stay away from the crowd but on the journey I was now being asked to speak and guess what speak in front of people" OMG! I can't do that??  So I was asked to come to Ottowa Canada by the UN Women and the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) to lead a workshop on women entrepreneurship. Who me?? When I heard what they wanted I said let me get back to you! In Trinidad we have our own little language going on! Slangs and slangs galore!!! So I am talking to a friend of mine about this o...

" No judgments, no expectations and give up the need to know what happens tomorrow" - Carolyn Myss, author Embracing Uncertainty They say that the most successful people are the ones that have a certain comfort level with uncertainty, in fact Tony Robbins says it the best "The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with"  Listen the last few months have been uncertain central! I have been I must confess a certainty queen! I want to know what happens maybe even down to the minute. Since leaving Trinidad its been sooooo different, to be honest right now I am not even certain what today is! It has been scary really but I always go back to what is the lesson here? Absolute certainty is not something I strive for anymore. I've learned the hard way that destiny usually looks upon our most strident convictions with amusement, or perhaps even pity. (Oh, those silly humans! So desperate for their absolu...

Over the past year I have done what some might say is out of character, crazy or even dumb (what we in Trinidad and Tobago where I'm from would call dotish!!) I left my comfort zone and ventured on a leap of faith to travel and complete a PhD focusing on women's entrepreneurship in Trinidad and Tobago and teach at the University. Now why would I do that, you might ask? Life and its changes and guess what life happened! After being married for a long time it all came to a crashing halt and all the nicely laid out plans went to pot, so what does a girl do? try something new and totally out of character. Embarking upon my journey so far which has taken me to Europe, Africa, the Far East and North America over the last year and a half I realised that it really became a journey towards unconditional self love. Loving myself again no matter what! I started sharing some of them on Facebook and posting sayings on my Blackberry messenger and now I feel I have so much more to shar...