What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

We’re all going to try and play cool at some point. Not always because we want other people’s validation. But because we’re making up for what we don’t feel for ourselves. And you know—boyyyy do you know—every single time you’re playing the I’m cool please like me game. You know it. Sometimes it pops up out of no where. Just tumbles out of your mouth. Your coolness, begging for airtime. Maxie Mc Coy During a meeting today, someone I respect, I mean highly respect, said to me " you're one of those down to earth types who really don't give much credence to what people wear, look like or their image" I paused. I then said " I will take that as a compliment and say thank you" She said " you ought to, I mean to say that you really try to focus on the person and not their image as opposed to being one of those people who are fixated on that and it clouds their judgement"  Listen, at that moment I said to myself, "self, you are now clear th...

You have to be clear and separate what you think and what you have been told to think - Rev Deborah Johnson Have you ever questioned any of your core beliefs? The things that people told you and you believed I was told for most of my life that I have sinus problems and should stay away from certain things and places and foods. I repeated that for quite a while until I realised wait, what bloody sinus problems do I have? none at all, been restricting myself based on what my folks told me mind you I did have it as a child but just an example of how we keep holding on to things that may not necessarily be true or does not serve us. Question your beliefs, what you have been told Shape your own mind Look at the things that you think about and see if they are really true for you And the ones that you were told not to believe as well, they may also hold some home truths for you And then make a decision in your own best interest Peace

confusion and struggle are not feelings. They are both conditions of the mind. It is possible that you are bumping into a resistant belief. Once you identify what you feel, choose what you desire to feel and claim it - I choose to be and feel . . . I now release confusion and struggle. When or should those thoughts surface again simply declare - I RELEASE! Iyanla You can’t wait for permission. You can’t wait for other people to value you You can’t wait to see yourself through the eyes of other people There is something within you that has to say I AM and that’s enough, let that be enough Don’t look on the outside, claim it on the inside We all have creativity, genius, desire, passion, talent with all kind of things that are awesome Dare! Dare to believe Get off the bell curve- where the majority go to cluster The pioneers and the miracles are not in the middle See the possibility, dare to live it Let people catch up Don’t you go out to the naysayers ...

that there are times and situations when we become so focused on things and people that do not serve us that we lose our grasp on what really matters. Iyanla Make a list. Take out a piece of paper and pen right now, or perhaps your smart phone or tablet and list right now what really matters to you, no filter, no judgement. Then look at your actions and see if there is a gap, are you doing anything in your life that really really matters to you? And if not, why not? The first time I did this exercise I paused. I looked at my life with the most non judgmental and willing point of view and made the shift, doing things that mattered TO ME and to MY LIFE and MY VISION. not to the things that do not serve them and yes I slip sometimes but I am more aware now and take a shorter time to regroup and recover So what are you focused on and why? And is it serving you? Is it serving your vision, (do you even have a vision for yourself?) Are you focused on things and people that d...

Every act is an act of self definition - Neale Donald Walsh Taking 100% responsibility for our lives is sobering. It wakes you the hell up and many of us are afraid of that wake up call and continue to remain asleep I know, I was asleep for quite a long time myself and ever so often the alarm goes off when I fall back into slumber This week was one of the most challenging weeks for me in a long long time, the alarm bells went off like a siren on Thursday and I had to pay attention I have to renew my passport and proceeded to do so this week. I duly completed the relevant forms and happily took it to the officer, she asked me for my divorce documents. Hmmm I never received them, I had no clue about anything about the process all I know was that I was officially divorced. So I proceeded to the Family Court to apply for the documents, they had some small difficulty in locating it but in the end I received it. As I opened the envelope I looked at the date, it startled me, It was cl...

Sometimes….Just know that you know…. And let that be enough you do not need anyone to validate or co-sign what you know   Iyanla One of my  favorite  lessons on the journey is "Act like you Know" it is the philosophy that once we become aware of a situation our  behavior  must reflect that new information. The action after knowing ought to reflect the new knowledge, if that action is not carried out then one cannot say that they know! And then I bumped into the Boss Iyanla's reading this morning and it took this lesson a little bit further "I do not need anyone to validate what I know" Oh bells and whistles!!! How many times have I sought out validation for what I know for sure only to get a different perspective follow it and shit hit the fan? Oh too many times How many times do I want people to  agree  with me because "I know!" and when that did not happen I am, as they say in my country, blue vex! Yes people - just know that you k...

This is the only thing that you need do for vision, happiness, release from pain and the complete escape from sin, all to be given you. Say only this, but mean it with no reservations, for here the power of salvation lies: I am responsible for what I see. I choose the [thoughts and] feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked. Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken, and all effects of your mistakes will disappear   ACIM I am responsible for what I see. Revolutionary statement!  I - Me, me alone, no one else I AM - what follows your I AM - you become and so one has to be careful what you attach your I AM to Responsible - the ability to respond, we have the ability, we are able to respond. So be willing to take this course - say to yourself I am responsible fo...

Today I just wanted to share one of my daily readings with you, I use this reading very often as an affirmation of what is possible Be Blessed Peace God, I affirm, that all I need to succeed at anything I set out to accomplish, has already been made available to me.  I affirm, that I know and stand in full awareness of my calling and purpose.  I confess that until today, the focus, discipline and consistency required to co-create the life I desire to experience, has been deficient.  I now ask to receive a full measure of supernatural focus, discipline and consistency, to bring completion to all incomplete cycles of action in my life.  I am committed to making better choices in how I manage my time and energy.   I am committed to practicing compassionate self-care and self-forgiveness. I am committed to seizing the time and maximizing the moments I have been given, to co-create and manifest unlimit- ed possibilities for my l...

Because humanity is accustomed to instant gratification, we are oftentimes resistant to the process of healing and spiritual purification. We like to pop a pill and make the pain go away but the pill never truly heals the pain – it simply masks the pain for a short while and then returns again. True healing, which is spiritual healing, or the healing of the soul is not a band-aid approach. True healing requires us to get to the root cause of our distortions so they can be unearthed within the depths of our being and brought to the surface for our higher spiritual light and consciousness to shine down on them so they can be cleared from our energy. (Raise Your Vibration) Healing is a process, a process can be defined as a series or actions of steps to achieve a particular end.  It is not a one off event, steps are required and inside there a little bit of courage and willingness and healing is not only when one is "sick"  Healing is defined as the process of becoming...

Problems are messages, if there are problems in your life, the Universe is trying to get your attention. It's saying "hey, there is something you need to be aware of, there is something that needs to be changed here" Marianne Williamson Keep doing the same thing and you will get the same results. That I am almost sure you have heard before. Take a survey of your life, Spiritually.Emotionally.Financially. Socially. Relational,Physically. Vocationally. Take a closer look at each of these areas, are there signs and messages there that is saying pay attention, take a closer look? Be honest, no excuses, no justifications, no judgments Sometimes the messages are clear and sometimes they are subtle - you must be paying attention and be willing to admit that there is something that needs to be shifted. And listen, I get caught up in it as well, wanting things the way I want things even with the messages, the signs, but we don't know everything, we cannot see everythin...

The body speaks. We just don’t listen until we get sick and have to start paying attention to what our bodies need. By that time illness has manifested so strongly within us it will take extreme dedication and perseverance to heal ourselves – and that will require major lifestyle changes. The biggest issue many of us will face is releasing our beliefs about food and self denial. Ignorance and denial about our unhealthy lifestyles and refusing to create change leads to a slow suicide and it is also a reflection of our own lack of self love . How to raise the vibration  Rest is productive, that is something I truly believe. I say it often enough and sometimes aloud to convince myself to make it a priority. Guilt is a waster emotion, that is something I truly believe. I say it often enough to ensure that I do not waste emotions. Healing starts within by taking an inventory and facing up to the truth that the feedback in your life is showing you - and that is not usually an e...

The problem is usually our uninvestigated thinking, and this happens when you’re mentally in someone else’s business. Uninvestigated stories  leave chaos and resentment and hatred within our own families and circles. Until we investigate nothing else is possible  Byron Katie I love Byron Katie's work, it is simple yet effective to me, I love simplicity! And it basically says that many of our assumptions and made up stories affect the decisions that we make, she talks about asking ourselves when something happens or pop up that we start making up scenarios, assumptions and stories - is it really true? And that's a yes or no response, nothing else Univestigated stories, assumptions and scenarios cause quite a number of unnecessary challenges. Someone does something or says something, and we attach a meaning and story on to it which in many cases has absolutely nothing to do with us.  When we find the courage to ask a question, and asking ourselves first is very ...

Above All Else I Want To See Recognizing that what I see reflects what I think I am, I realize that vision is my greatest need. The world I see attests to the fearful nature of the self-image I have made (of myself, within myself). If I would remember who I am, it is essential that I let this (false) image of myself go. As it is replaced by truth, vision will surely be given to me. And with vision, I will look upon the world and myself with (clarity) and love. ACIM How do you see yourself? Start there, pay attention to that. We sometimes have unconsciously spoken about how we look upon ourselves and speak it into being, the things we say that unconsciously limit us many times without questioning where and why. We may have heard from our parents that we are "sickly" and maybe you were as a child, then you hold on to it for dear life and it manifests itself into reality So  pay attention to the labels you put on you Remember words have life Peace

Law of Action - Must be employed in order for us to manifest things on earth. We must engage in actions that supports our thoughts dreams, emotions and words - Universal Laws Universal Laws - quite simple. Whether we obey them or not, they are there and they work. I have heard that ignorance is no excuse for not following the law, it will work and apply anyway. The Law of Gravity for example, you don't have to know about it but it works so living without knowing the laws does not mean that they are not there and is not working in your life or in every other person's life. Having said that, the Law of Action = Manifestation make a move, bust a move perfection is not a requirement to start, to move, willingness is Action= Manifestation Peace

Using the past to validate why you are where you are today is called - - - an excuse. Excuses cripple the mind to the power and presence of possibility. Instead of continually giving the past power, intend and expect something more for your future. What you do today determines what you experience tomorrow. Iyanla Vanzant Oh  we can all justify what and why we are where we are doing what we are doing!!!  Oh how we can make up excuses for not doing and having what we want!  Oh how we can blame and project This morning I had a meeting with the University to chat about me completing my unfinished PhD. I sat there and heard the rationale, the excuses, the reasons, the justification for me not resuming the programme! When they fell out of my mouth and into my lap I stopped.  Oh my word, I am using the past to validate where I am today! Jeez!!! What a penny dropping aha moment! What else have I been making excuses about?  Oh boi, am I ready for the truth The...

May I remember how much I have by remembering how much I have to give. May I not be tempted by smaller things but serve my larger mission of forgiveness and love . Marianne Williamson Gratitude When all hell has broken loose and I feel that it’s all over or ready to pack it all in. I remember to be grateful I start small I woke up this morning I am well All my limbs are in tact I can see the birds outside my door waiting to share my banana with them I have clear thoughts I can swallow I have a place to live The car starts There are fruits in the refrigerator I have a place to live I have keys to unlock and maybe that is the key Having gratitude for everything and every place that I have been I am grateful for good friends For coconut bake and salt fish And bread from the lady from First Citizens bank who gives me one just because I am ever grateful for activists + allies+ people using their voices for movements because we are worthy of...

Walk with me. Tell your story. Listen with your heart to mine. Build a bridge. Cross over that bridge together. Now destroy that bridge and never look back. EVOLVE. -badu We love the familiar, it's comfortable, it's easy. The minute it feels any other way we hold on for dear life. The Universe never leaves a void, never does. And what happens when we hold on for dear life? We end up blocking the path, restricting the flow. Life goes on and things will continue but it is like driving with your handbrakes up. The car does move however the ride is jerky and bumpy.  Letting go is like releasing the handbrake, a smoother ride! Peace. 

Ghosted?  I know that guy that was full-on obsessed with you for a few weeks. But he’s no where to be found now, so drop it where you found it. If you respected yourself as much as those who love you do, you wouldn’t give him the time of day. The universe was just making an (abrupt) shift. For something  way  better . Maxie McCoy Big lessons with me and the fellas.. I'm just saying.... Marianne Williamson talks about our belief is that what is happening is the only thing that is going on and that is more times than not, the full story. There is always more, so remember that when you are making the thing bigger than it really is. And I got it eventually, drop the expectations Listen, not having expectations doesn’t mean you get walked all over. It doesn’t mean you don’t have values, integrity, or desires. But leaving expectations behind lets you evaluate what shows up exactly as is—instead of what it is in relation to the made up image you had in your h...

I am willing to see things differently - A Course in Miracles (ACIM) ACIM says that our good intentions are not enough, our willingness is what propels us to move towards the life we desire to live or the task we want to complete. If we are willing to see things from a different perspective, willing to do something new, that is the start of transformation.or getting what you say you want. Willingness.... I have been in a situation for the past few weeks and my "good intention" has been right at the forefront of my mind. And there it was, the lesson - be willing, be willing to see and do things in a different way. The willingness propelled me to a whole new place. A new mindset. Willingness is defined as " the quality or state of being prepared to do something; readiness" Prepared to DO something- do something not talk about doing it Do something- not talk about why you cannot do it  Do something - not moan and complain about why and why not Do something -...

I love listening. It's one of the only spaces where you can be still and moved at the same time - Nayyira Waheed (one of my fav poets) Learning and listening fascinates me, it allows me to be completely in the moment, I can sit and just be quiet listening to not just people but the sounds from everywhere that I am, in the park, in the mall, walking down the street. It keeps me in the now Listening is something I learnt on these latest journeys. I realized that me just waiting for someone to finish talk so that I can talk or interrupting someone while they speak I missed the moment, it sometimes even dismissed people's point and made them feel dismissed as well. I remember I was in a town hall meeting with quite a few people , ok not a few, it was damm near crowded and here I was after learning about how listening keeps me in the moment decided to practice this lesson. An elderly gentlemen stood up and started talking, with a passion and verve that drew me in even further, I...

Do not sulk Do not give up Do not invest your energy in people who do not value you Your duty is to place yourself in the best case scenario but not on some creepy capitalist crabs in a barrel tip But by proving that you are worthy of magnificence  ESPECIALLY when your faith is wavering Natalie Patterson Life is always sending us signs, every moment. We can pay attention or we can ignore it and the beautiful thing is that the message will keep coming around until we pay attention. Sometimes the whispers become screams.  Paying attention is not always what we want to do because it goes against either the status quo, the norm, the ego, the "way it's supposed to go" So we ignore, justify and move on, we escape in fakeness, alcohol, shopping, food, excess, reality television and living other people's lives. It may be that we find ourselves in the same situation over and over again with the same people- romance, jobs, friendships. and wondering what's wrong with ...

To those who are divinely meant to be in my life I WELCOME YOU. I have a lot of love to give... To those who are not... I send you love and peace on your journey. I release, relinquish, and let go. I bless 2016 and all that is to come!  Shanel Cooper -Sykes I loved having things go my way, it has been almost like an obsession, I remember growing up my mother would get frustrated and say to me in annoyance "You always want YOUR OWN WAY, life is not like that baby girl" And this "wanting my own way" spilled over to relationships especially with men. I would have a singular focus, to the point sometimes of crossing my boundaries, even sometimes making dishonoring choices in the name of having it my way and wanting it to go the way I want it to go. This process took some undoing. This process took me to a place of recognizing that boundaries and self love, self honor and letting go is a huge part of the journey and part of having my own way is a combination of eg...