Every act is an act of self definition

Every act is an act of self definition - Neale Donald Walsh

Taking 100% responsibility for our lives is sobering. It wakes you the hell up and many of us are afraid of that wake up call and continue to remain asleep
I know, I was asleep for quite a long time myself and ever so often the alarm goes off when I fall back into slumber
This week was one of the most challenging weeks for me in a long long time, the alarm bells went off like a siren on Thursday and I had to pay attention

I have to renew my passport and proceeded to do so this week. I duly completed the relevant forms and happily took it to the officer, she asked me for my divorce documents. Hmmm I never received them, I had no clue about anything about the process all I know was that I was officially divorced. So I proceeded to the Family Court to apply for the documents, they had some small difficulty in locating it but in the end I received it. As I opened the envelope I looked at the date, it startled me, It was clear and final and in black and white the date of the end of the union. My mind went blank for a minute because firstly I did not know the date before then and I also did not accept that so much time had passed, I just could not remember the process at all
Anyways, papers in hand I took them back to the passport office, the officer looked at it and said " You have made a false declaration on your form at your last application and will be subject to an investigation this may involve jail or a fine" I was literally speechless, the color from my face got up and ran to the corner and stayed there!
"Excuse me?"
" You must go through the process, your records indicate that you have been divorced before you applied for your last passport and ignorance is no excuse"

My denial, lack of responsibility and all round slumber found me here
As I sat there, I was asking myself what is the lesson over and over again
I asked the officer how can we resolve this? What is the process of making it right? It stopped her in her tracks for a minute, she told me that she did not know
I asked the question in another way, "What is the process to allow me to atone for this and most importantly get my passport?"
She thought for a minute and rattled off what she thinks I would need to do, gave me back my documents and told me as at now you are not entitled to receive a passport until the investigation has been completed
I got up from the chair, felt the feelings and shifted into solution mode
stay tuned
take responsibility
wake up


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