What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

When has shrinking ourselves because of fear helped us? It has never helped.   Fear is an emotion that should visit and when it leaves, it should make you brave.   It should make you want to do more, create more and learn more. Fear is normal but when we let fear stay too long, it paralyses us. Ijeoma Anyone who asks you, demands of you, suggest to you, hints to you to downplay what you are doing and how you are being, I am suggesting you run far like Forest. Anytime you feel a knot in your stomach as you approach something that you really want to do but is different to what you have done before I am suggesting to you that you go for it, to feel the fear and do it anyway Jump to it as Aretha sings, that fear is a sign that you are doing something massive Anytime someone feels uncomfortable for just being you, put on the Forest shoes, and run The people who are in your corner are real! they tell you what they are feeling with authenticity...

I know what this is I can handle this Attachment reflects a lack of faith in your ability to learn Iyanla The best thing for me about travelling is learning to let go Things change at a moment's notice The focus is now, the focus is living in the moment, the focus is faith in what comes next because it is usually unpredictable Sometimes it may be as simple as seeing something in a store that you need. The decision must be made right there and then as you may never see the store again or the item again Human beings are creatures of habit, it's safe, it's comfortable, it makes us believe that we are in control, like we are moving ahead and making things happen Newsflash - making noise, screaming at people, projection and ego decisions are not "making things happen" And so the lesson is not only living in the moment but having faith that making a decision with the best of intentions will always be the best one in the moment I have been practicing the ar...

I will figure it out – that may mean waiting patiently for the answer to come, turning tirelessly over every stone. It may mean praying until you sweat. I will figure it out – if you declare you will figure it out the possibilities are endless. You will figure it out – you are the only one who can   Danielle La Porte I am in figure it out mode - There are so many pieces and nuggets of advice coming from all sides, I know for sure many of them are coming from a place of love. I also learnt that since my life is my responsibility I have to make the decision, do the work and stand the consequences and that ultimately means that it really is up to me to decide. People seem to have difficulty in accepting that when one makes a decision that is different to what they have suggested and want it does not always mean disrespect, or being dismissive and God forbid, not valueing their opinion Your life is YOUR life and the consequences for your choices are yours, also, people's pers...

H onor where you're at . Are you pushing for the right reasons? Or retreating for your best interest? Know wherever you are is exactly where you're supposed to be. Listen, today was a dream come true Check this out Give thanks Peace http://tedxportofspain.com/portfolio/akosua-dardaine-edwards/

We don't adequately think an issue through; we let fear rule a decision. digging ourselves an even deeper hole than the one we're already in; we fail to connect deeply with people and situations around us, leading to all manner of negative results Marianne Willamson When I make a decision based on fear, it backfires, shit hits fan - no exception! work, love, play, any category. And what exactly is fear in my case? When love is absent, when the ego is raging, when I am out to prove something or someone wrong or prove myself right, when I forget who I am and start acting needy, and I think my worth is established by what other people think and not by God So, I made a promise to myself not to concsiously  get involved with someone, either through face to face contact or technology- why?  I just felt that given the experiences that I had with this person I felt that,  I was not  a priority - a friend, in a way that I defined friendship. Really nice person though an...

Everyone has dreams. There’s not a single human on this earth who doesn’t wish for something. There’s not a single child who doesn't have a wild wish for the future. And there’s not a woman reading this who doesn’t hold some kind of dream close to her heart. Every single one of us has a wonderful contribution to make in this lifetime. We all have a calling . Maxie Mc Coy The tour has come to an end, I'm preparing to head back to base. It's been an awesome ten days, I will always remember them.  My top five lessons were 1. My comfort zone is where I rest, not where I live - be prepared to jump out of the zone ever so often, see what is there and know it will be okay in the end 2. I can't do this alone - and I will not ever want to - the support was tremendous especially when I let it flow 3. Flexibility is essential - my way is not the only way or the best way - and leave room for surprises - in other words, don't be a control freak 4. Believe in myse...

There's no guarantee that everything will turn out exactly the way you want it to, but there IS a guarantee that it cannot possibly do so if you are afraid to even take the  chance .NDW I took Friday evening off to chillax. It's been a full on week. I went to the MOCADA Museum, spent some time with my aunt at the first full solar powered restaurant in NYC. I also met a friend in Manhattan we had dinner then walked around like kids gaping at the lights on the sky scrapers and people watching Balance - how important is balance and how do you define balance? I think it is a case of including into the mix activities that inspire you, activities that bring you joy, activities that connect you with like minded people, activities that get you still. That is my definition of balance And the old saying all work and no play.... that's real Peace

You will know you are being controlled by a memory if you insist on doing a certain thing in a certain way, because you are convinced your reason for doing it is right. You can be pretty sure you are being controlled by a memory when you interpret the things you see or hear in ways that cause you anger, fear or resentment. When a memory of something you have forgotten is controlling your life, you will say things that are not true, you will do things that are not productive, you will hear things that are not said, you will see things that are not there. You will respond in ways that are inappropriate and out of character. In these cases, your soul is calling out for healing. What was going on THEN will continue to happen NOW as long as you forget to remember it. A repressed memory will push itself into your consciousness to be healed. It will stand up until it receives the attention and recognition it deserves. Everything you have experienced deserves to be honored and embraced. Ye...

Commit to small, daily actions.  They build into big ones. Everyday actions lead to the large leaps. And they help build our foundation for confidence Maxie Mc Coy Word up Bookstore in Spanish Harlem - a wonderful space, run totally by volunteers and a community centre of sort. A totally welcoming spot. I shared the stage with a young upcoming author called SapoDilla, we read from our books and discussed topics such as authenticity, purpose and telling an empowering story, I had fun doing it What was the lesson? No matter where I am, I am supposed to be there, it may not look like I want it to look but have faith and trust the process that life is communicating to you at that very moment and my responsibility is to listen and choose. Today I'm at the Brooklyn Library Grand Army Plaza To the Book Tour Peace

Expect discomfort. If you want your call to be easy, you’ll never answer it. Know that you have what it takes to handle the discomfort with grace. Never interpret discomfort as anything other than a step toward your dream. It's required. And it never feels good in the moment. Maxie I'm being challenged, I am in the discomfort stage as I embark on this journey and although it feels like crap at the same time it feels good Today was a day of strategy, the review, what I did well and not so well Who likes being told that what they are doing is not being "done so well"  Woman up- it is part of the journey I am determined to include some fun in this trip, to celebrate the "doing well" moments if only for days like this where I am told that in order to  answer this call there will be uncomfortable days And so on Friday morning the pardee begins!!! Tomorrow I am at Word Up Bookstore - looking forward! Peace

Under each cornerstone of fear on which you have erected your insane system of belief, the truth lies hidden.  Truth does not struggle against ignorance, and love does not attack fear. What needs no protection does not defend itself. ACIM Bluestockings Book Store in the Lower East Side of New York City invited me to share a space, to share a space to tell my story. So grateful for the opportunity to be in the Village at one of the most progressive bookstores in the country! When I was growing up, as a pre teen and early teen I would come to NYC to visit my granma and aunt, we would go to the Village to a joint to eat called BBQ's I was fascinated by the Village, the clothes, the vibe, the styles, the apparent freedom. Back then I thought wouldn't it be nice to live here or be here more often? That memory came back yesterday! The reading was different to all that I have done before - the crowd was smaller ( A lady came all the way from New Jersey - so grateful for he...

There is little more soul destroying, artery furring and  excruciatingly  abrasive to the sense of self as a bad job. To hate what you do for a living means a bit of you hates yourself for being there, not having one clue what you want to do next and knowing there's no one to blame (the government, Brexit, Simon Cowell or Global Warming) except yourself. Carole Forde The Harlem Book Fair - an explosion of culture. The roll call for Saturday's event was 8.00am I am staying in Brooklyn- quite a journey away. Got up early and excited to head to the roll call on time. My aunt who flew in from Texas to assist me - bless her got a belly pain just as we were about to leave the house. I had to ask her if she was more nervous than I was! So we were delayed while as we say home "she handled her stories" The rush was now on, I plugged in the directions in the Google Maps and we were on our way As we approached the area it seems we were lost - what? it's on Google m...

Love rests in certainty ACIM Only uncertainty can be defensive. And all uncertainty is doubt about yourself. So after a much longer journey than I anticipated I made it to JFK. I got into the taxi, the driver was rather friendly, he asked me where I was from and guess what else? yup “Why Are You Here?” I told him I was from Trinidad and Tobago and was on a book tour, he laughed and said so not only rock stars go on tours! He menti oned that he was from Azerbaijan and if I ever heard about his country it’s two hours away from Russia, I told him that I was in Russia in 2014 so he got even more excited. He asked me if I was confident about my work and my dreams and to make sure that my work is not only to pay bills but to live because that’s “bullshit” I started to answer and he said to me that all uncertainty is self-doubt! Hmmm note to self – pay attention anyone can share lessons on this journey. It starts now- straight to Brooklyn Library today to meet the people who help...

Repeat this over and over again…I am unshakable. I am unmovable. I am un-messable-with. I am solid as a rock. I am confident. I believe in myself. I know that I am capable, worthy, and able. I know who is in me. I know that prosperity, abundance, lots of money, and lots of success are available to me. It’s my birthright. I’m supposed to have that. I’m a leader. I have some thing powerful and valuable to give to this world. But I can’t give anything if I’m broke. I believe that my destiny is here today. I believe that my opportunity is here today. I believe that today is my day to access all of my miracles . Shanel Cooper-Sykes I was sitting here doing some calculations, just before I had to go to the airport to catch my flight.  While I was sitting there I am talking to myself, the Cooper-Sykes quote above was on brain repeat now  to drown out the self talk, the doubt that sounded like OMG you must and have to sell some books to have any cash on this tour because the f...

It is still up to you to choose to join with truth or with illusion. But remember that to choose one is to let the other go ACIM If we ask we will be shown - if we ask about how we can be guided to our highest self we will definitely be shown, but the thing is, one has to be in a position to hear, to be still sometimes, to follow our intuition, to be courageous, to say no, to release ego, to stop people pleasing, to make decisions from love rather than fear, to release guilt, to forgive. I know for a fact, because life shows me all the time, when I ask and put in doubt, fear, ego, I don't hear and my grandma always says - all who don't hear will feel In the last few months, I have been asking - asking guidance on what ELSE to do, why is it not happening for me in terms of turning my craft into one which is financially sustainable, and the more I asked the less cash I seemed to have and the more gigs I take pro bono I continued to ask and I continued to get frustrated ...

“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.” Serena Williams The mind is such a wonderful and divine instrument, it knows exactly when we need protection. In such cases the mind will give us an excuse or rationale we can grab onto to shield us from harmful, hurtful situations. These "defense mechanisms" the mind offers are but a temporary shelter in the midst of a raging storm.  It is our duty, however, to move from beneath the shelter when it no longer serves our highest or greatest good. In other words, when it keeps us from growing Be sure not to tell yourself "don't" when you do want it Be mindful not to accept "you can't" when you know you can Pay attention to the excuses you make not to, when you know you must Don't settle for less when you desire more No matter how hard you think it is, ask for what you need and what you want when you need and want it If you hear no, and you may run that risk, be prepared to make...

This is what can be hard, about adulthood: you are aware that you have choices. You are aware that your choices have consequences. You are aware that you might make a big mistake and need to retrace your steps to restore equilibrium in the wake of that disastrous choice. What we sometimes do, however, is set ourselves up to feel resentful. How? By knowing that we have options, yet being afraid to act on available options–and then getting resentful that we don’t like where we are. It becomes a form of ignoring the fact that change, while hard, is possible. Sometimes, when we’re afraid to make changes, we blame it on circumstances. We get resentful, the more we blame. So the whole choices thing again! Yes, the old free will concept, the ability to choose- which is one of the things that separates us human beings from the other species, get's me ever so often I get to choose- note to self, reminder, newsflash And when I feel the strong urge to justify my choice, most times  it ...

Do it afraid - Yeradami I head to New York City for a gig this week - the Why Are You Here in NYC - Book Tour I must admit, I feel a little scared about the entire thing, I am appearing at some pretty historic venues, it's new, its unknown but then,I realized a long time ago that a big dream, a big transformation is supposed to scare the crap out of me, the bigger it is, the more I am scared about it but at the same time know that it is just a part of the growth process I am pretty grateful to all the people who supported me in getting to this point, it really does take a village! The people around you are important, and the people are around you is a choice. As I sit here thinking about the task ahead I can tell you this I know for sure- doing the work, having the faith, and leaning into the dream makes for a pretty awesome combination when on your journey Stay tuned! Peace

Greatness is not external is internal because of your presence you deserve high regard meaning kindness, love,gentleness to be seen and heard and acknowledged just as you are Iyanla Vanzant This is my favorite definition of greatness, the word  great,gets many people uncomfortable, I tell people they are great they watch me side eye, they tell me stop playing or that I am just saying it to make them feel good I know I am great! I am great because I deserve kindness, love, to be seen and heard, I am great by my mere presence, if all of us embody this, remember this, practice this, my word, we would be so powerful in our own skin, but we forget, hell I forget many times I forget that I deserve this and when I forget I am reminded by the activities that take place in my life, the people  attract and the circumstances I find myself in You forgot that you are great if you are outsourcing your happiness You forget that you are great by allowing people in your lives who ...

The ego will help you remain in denial about the things in your life that need healing by helping you put on a fake mask of happiness, health and contentment. The ego will keep you fearful of change and it will help you justify your repetitive patterns that truly no longer serve your highest good. Our egos blind us and keep us in the darkness of lower self re-creations over and over again making it difficult for us to access our higher consciousness because we are too busy projecting our issues outside of ourselves onto other people. Instead of spending time in inner reflection really connecting with our true being allowing ourselves the time to SEE and FEEL what is going on in our own life, we are more interested in looking at the chaos, dysfunction and pain in other people’s lives so we can keep ourselves distracted and feel better about our selves. Sabrina Reber Focus on you, focus on your own life, do the work Doing the work means to be with yourself for a minute, go to t...

Action just for the sake of action isn't always helpful. Maxie Mc Coy "How many of us go into a new situation using old methods but adamant that the old methods will work when there are clear signs that they are no longer applicable?" This was the theme of my speech on Wednesday to a group of professional women who meet every month to support each other I thought it was fitting to talk about the being courageous enough to do something new, especially when in a new situation- Now I am not knocking the old just saying that many times we default into the way we would usually do what we do, unconsciously, like a nice old blanket What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Pay attention This is where paying attention comes in Be present Be attuned to where you are and who you are with Mindfulness Practice it, take one occasion, just one and be fully present- that means - tra...

We are not educated to be. We are educated to aquire, tell a different story Often the most important work you have to do don't look like work at all off the plane on the stage I have a responsibility...... I was scheduled to speak at the Moruga Secondary Graduation - Moruga is a rural town in the south of Trinidad, I have never been, took me about two and a half hours driving, I even got lost, drove to the end of the island- literally- I drove to the end and it was only sea, no where else to go! I had fun, it was so inspiring to be around possibility, potential, and promise I am so grateful Congratulations to all of you and thank you for having me share lessons on the journey Peace

Somehow the wires uncrossed, my tables were turned Never knew I had such a lesson to learn I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do I tidied it up my point of view I got a new attitude! Patti LaBelle My batteries are recharged,there will be actions taken, decisions made I  can see now that I was almost running on empty - these few days have been a welcomed boost, a combination of seeing my family and taking in the workshops- the soul surgery, the affirmation of my purpose, the love shared Everywhere we turned this weekend  there were people like you and I  who got the courage to live their dream, live their purpose, be authentic, tell the truth, deal with their issues - the message rang through as the same- just do it, go through the challenges, come out on the other side, be your authentic you, tell the truth, be prepared to lose a few along the way, it's really going to be alright! I want to share it...

I am the women of my dreams; each stage of growth, a woman unapologetically herself has emerged. This becoming myself is a process . Ijeoma Well what have we here? We arrive in time to get our seats for the day's workshop and there was a buzz about, there were extra security, there were loads and loads of people, I went to the front to get my seat, ushers appeared and said I will not be able to sit there today.  "Huh?"  "You cannot sit here today Ma'am it's reserved" "Since when?" "Since Oprah is speaking today" Oprah? Are you sure? Yes Maam Well no problem let me just get back one seat My cousins and I were like OMG he said Oprah! We started acting like pure groupies, jumping and screaming like kids The Empowerment Experience as it was called was pure joy, exactly what I needed to hear To Lean into the dream To Let it go, surrender when you have done all the work and prayed To set your intentions from the onset To...

Taking myself seriously doesn’t mean not making any more mistakes. It doesn’t mean being perfect. It doesn’t mean having it all together. But it does mean taking my foot off the break when my intention is to accelerate. It does mean putting a lid on my knee jerk self-deprecation and downplaying. It does mean expressing something with gravitas and then shutting up to let it land . Kate Northrup It's the flip side! New Orleans is soul surgery not just because of the awe inspiring workshops that I have attended so far, that coupled with being with my cousins have woken up something inside of me that fell into a long deep sleep.  I grew up with 8 of my cousins, in the same house either living with them or them being at the house daily after school until they were picked up by their folks, we were all close in age and a few "only" children in the mix. We were our own little gang of buddies until at about age ten or so we all either moved or went abroad, time passe...