Boundaries is a demonstration of self-respect
"It is your duty to take responsibility for how you expect and allow others to treat you" Iyanla (the absolute boss teacher)
One of my most challenging lessons is setting and maintaining boundaries.
For this purpose a boundary is defined as " a mental construct, expectation, request, or system that you put in place within yourself to define, prescribe or exclude behavior, people, experiences and internal or external intrusions"
Boundaries is a demonstration of self respect and respect for others
One cannot be allowed to run amuk in other people's lives with bad behavior,
When you know what is expected of you, you have the power to choose whether or not you want to participate or be in relationship with people.
When people care about you, they will respect what you request and expect. If they cannot, they will offer a compromise.
My challenges with boundaries stem from a combination of wanting to avoid confrontation and conflict, from wanting to keep the peace and wanting people to like me
I never trusted myself to handle a disagreement without either losing my temper (like boxing someone in the face with a wicked right hand) or losing the relationship. to me, disagreement was about losing. And so with that my boundaries were lines drawn in the sand and moved willy nilly to avoid losing.
This never ends well!
Why? My self respect and self love was shot to pieces because I was forever upset with myself for not following through with my boundaries, we show people how to treat us. what resulted was people were allowed to behave badly in my life.
So, what I learnt is that I need to be able to tell other people when they are being or behaving in whats that are unacceptable and frightening to me, and know that I will not lose
Somewhere there is a decision that honors you, that honors others. Find that decision.Be committed to finding it.
Peace
One of my most challenging lessons is setting and maintaining boundaries.
For this purpose a boundary is defined as " a mental construct, expectation, request, or system that you put in place within yourself to define, prescribe or exclude behavior, people, experiences and internal or external intrusions"
Boundaries is a demonstration of self respect and respect for others
One cannot be allowed to run amuk in other people's lives with bad behavior,
When you know what is expected of you, you have the power to choose whether or not you want to participate or be in relationship with people.
When people care about you, they will respect what you request and expect. If they cannot, they will offer a compromise.
My challenges with boundaries stem from a combination of wanting to avoid confrontation and conflict, from wanting to keep the peace and wanting people to like me
I never trusted myself to handle a disagreement without either losing my temper (like boxing someone in the face with a wicked right hand) or losing the relationship. to me, disagreement was about losing. And so with that my boundaries were lines drawn in the sand and moved willy nilly to avoid losing.
This never ends well!
Why? My self respect and self love was shot to pieces because I was forever upset with myself for not following through with my boundaries, we show people how to treat us. what resulted was people were allowed to behave badly in my life.
So, what I learnt is that I need to be able to tell other people when they are being or behaving in whats that are unacceptable and frightening to me, and know that I will not lose
Somewhere there is a decision that honors you, that honors others. Find that decision.Be committed to finding it.
Peace
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