What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Try new things, take big risks and let your passion and energy guide you!     Define success on your own terms! What does joy look like to you? What does abundance feel like to you? What does freedom feel like to you? 2013 is done! How do you feel about the last twelve months? When you think of 2013 what feeling wells up in your stomach? For me, there is a swell of gratitude hat rises to the surface, it brings not just an easy smile to my face but also some tears of joy! I have learnt that all things are lessons that the Universe will have us learn! Now on to 2014! How do I want to feel?, What do I want to feel? More Gratitude Courage Joy Abundance Freedom So I start from there! How do I want to feel this year? Every choice, every action, every move I make will be with the aim to feel them! Those are my desires for 2014! What’s yours? Here’s to an awesome 2014 to each and every one of you! Massive thanks, massive blessings and more love!...

There are no prerequisites  for worthiness Brene Brown Confession time on the journey! Do you know your triggers? I am beginning to know and recognize what mine are and most times in a family setting they come up, well for most people. Families are containers for growth! Anyways, I was having a conversation with my cousin (who is really like my sister, we grew up together in the same house for most of our lives and spent most of our holidays together) so we were talking about when we were growing up and that in the time that my father was not living with us that he would send a message that he was coming to take me out for the day. My mum would dress me and I would be excited and sit there waiting for him and he would not show up for a week! So the conversation was how did this manifest in your adult life? I looked at her and said what an absolutely brilliant question! There and then the whole question of worthiness came up! I feel that I always have to prove my worth, espec...

Do you not see that all your misery comes from the strange belief that you are powerless? ACIM Someone asked me why did I leave Africa and what do I plan to do when I am at home. I said It was time to leave and I have no plans yet apart from finding a place to live! Well at first there was a moment of silence and then the questions began. You have no plans? You just left? In these times you just left a job and come to nothing? Hmm yea! I think you are mad! For a few seconds I thought hmm, am I mad? but then, I thought I may be mad but I want to feel free, I want to serve, I want to do things that I want to do, not what the world and society thinks that I should do! Don't let people should on you! This is not going to be easy but I am  committed to this, I am committed to following my purpose, my bliss and sticking with it! I am ready because life is always in session! And just like that I got a call to go and see a place that was available for rent from a friend of mine, ...

There's extraordinary in the ordinary Oprah Winfrey My first time in Houston! First time spending Christmas with the family in over six years! Flew in from port of Spain via Miami on Christmas It's different to be in a full house after spending so much time alone for the past two years! Goes to show how much connection is important! You can spend all your time alone and may never know how much you have grown or have learnt! Relationships are really a container for growth! It shows your triggers as well! What would life be without connection?

"So you're here and you know that you made a perfect decision" David Rudder So I made it! After a few days of travelling I was in Trinidad! My buddy met me at the airport and as I drove on to the highway West towards the capital my soul was singing!  Have you ever heard your soul singing? It is like a cross between Whitney Houston, David Rudder, George Benson and Luther! pure pure class tunes and then I knew then and there that I'm here and I just made a perfect decision! A Course in Miracles says " I must have chosen wrongly because I am not at peace" well! I have chosen correctly! I have no clue about where I will live, work, move nothing! All I know is that I feel joy! sounds crazy doesn't it? I am off to Houston tomorrow for 15 days and then I am back and that's where all the fun begins Let me take this moment to wish each and every one of you an awesome season filled with joy, fun, laughter and peace! Thank you with all the love my hear...

All I can do is to give thanks for every step. Every moment. Every unfoldment of this journey. The Floacist Today is my last day in Uganda and what a day it has been!! Right now I am writing you in complete darkness with the last power on my laptop as there has been no electricity for the past two days! Writing in the dark is an experience.Packing in the dark in a new experience because smart me gave away all my lamps before I left! huh me!!! So here's the thing, I'm just dropping you a line to say that I am off! In a few hours I will be heading to Turkey and London en route to Port of Spain! Its been quite a journey! Will touch base with you soon, thank you to all of you for sharing in my journey Looking forward to the next one! Peace!!  

Let us resolve today to ask for what we really want, and only this, that we may spend this day in fearlessness, without confusing pain with joy, or fear with love . (1:9) ACIM Not everyone will be happy with your transformation Not everybody is going to be happy with all this evolution, revolution and transformation. At some level you know this. Don ’ t let it prevent you from going as deep and as high as you possibly can. Oh, rest assured everybody isn ’ t going to be down with the program, you will hear and be exposed to many things. “ You ’ re leaving? Why are you leaving? ” “ What happened? ” “ I sure will be happy when you get over this and get sense back into your head ” “ Are you crazy? ” “ You mean you ’ re going to walk away from all this? ” And on and on and on When you transform, you are not always recognized as the person you once was. Is it okay for you to be recognizable? Will you still be able to stand in your truth when people are throwing you...

If liberation is a chore, it’s not really liberation. You can’t contract your way to freedom. You can’t punish your way to joy. You can’t fight your way to inner peace . Danielle La Porte Go with the flow I was told over and over again! What does that really mean? I asked! I don ’ t know, maybe it mean just get out of your own way, stop trying to micro manage everything and stress yourself out! How can I do that? Just decide to do it, it’s that simple I am supposed to leave here on Friday morning and up to now I have no ticket, no one seems bothered or concerned! Madam Akosua, its being handled we will let you know when its handled, can you just assist us and wait! But it ’ s Christmas, we may lost the seat. Well if you do you get another one! What if theres not another one? Please! Let ’ s not get crazy now! Relax, enjoy the week off, see the place! It will happen when it is supposed to happen! Yesterday the compound that I live in had a party for me. I felt a littl...

If you show up as weak, broken, confused and dazed, the world is going to respond to you that way. If you show up as confident, kind, compassionate and loving, then the world is going to respond to you that way . Iyanla What did I learn today? I must admit today I didn’t want to process a lesson or analyze the moment! I just wanted to feel the emotions and that is exactly what I did! I felt at first angry, then helpless, then sad then happy, then grateful, then blessed then full of hope and excitement. Today I spent some time with the Anga Maloni Women’s Group this group of women got together because they were displaced after the war in the North! Displaced in this way means they lost their family, home and whatever else they had. So they got together and called the group Anga Maloni (self reliance, depend on yourself). I drove there and at some point of the journey my car meant nothing! Get out the car chick! Walk! I was like, am I in the right place, have mercy! Ok get a grip! ...

Without me, the sun comes up in the morning and the stars twinkle at night. Before I’ve even gotten out of bed in the morning, the earth has spun 1/3 of the way round its axis and six billion people have done the best they know to do to increase their happiness and mitigate their suffering. And since I’m not in charge, I get to relax and enjoy the ride. Rather than cower in recognition of my own weakness and even helplessness in the face of forces far greater than my own, I am set free.” Michael Neill coach All I know is that I am scheduled to leave in December, I do not know when, what time, with what airline, none of those details. It is now December 12 th and still no sign of the details. A number of people keep asking me, when are you coming home, when are you flying to Houston and all I can say is that I don’t know! And many of them either get annoyed or have a lot to say about why I am not pressing harder to be more in control of what is going on! One of the best l...

Make space for what you want to show up . You want the dream job on the other side of the country? But they’re not hiring yet. Never mind that. Get your affairs in order so that you could move on short notice. Get into position to take your position. You want to bring a committed, romantic love into your life? Then maybe you should break off the uncommitted stuff you’re doing “in the meantime”, (just a suggestion.) Send a clear signal to Life that you’re ready — and available — for what you really desire. Danielle LaPorte I have been making space for what I want to show up. I am leaving Africa to go back to the West because I want to promote my book, set up programmes in Trinidad and Tobago for young women entrepreneurs, speak at events and travel across the world doing serving! I am making space for what I want to show up. I want to go to the beach every weekend that I can, eat the local bake and shark and watch the waves hit the shore so I am leaving my all expenses ...

Intuition is morse code privately delivered to the soul. Some messages are delivered simply for the receiver to know. Natalie Stewart (My favourite floacist) How big a part does your intuition, your gut feeling contribute to decisions you make? I have learnt that my gut instinct, my intuition, is truly divine guidance! Yesterday we were chatting about the way forward on this project, since the debacle that occurred with the theft and fraud we have been focusing on learning the lessons to avoid repeating it in the future. An investor from Scandinavia contacted us and showed interest in the project, so much so that they are here now. Yesterday we were discussing the proposal and all and every type of scenario was put forward on how we can partner with them and just like that she said “My gut says to do this, and that is what will be done” If we followed our instincts before then we may not even have had to make these decisions so that is what will happen! I smiled and said, le...

Everything happens when it needs to happen; everyone is always where they need to be. You will never miss out on what is meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way . Byron Katie Today was my last Monday meeting; we dubbed it the fireworks session! Tempers flare and voices are raised so we say oh oh here comes the fireworks.   Every Monday we sit down and talk about how to make this project, this thing better, how to raise the standard! I was asked to chair the meeting, which at first I declined (because of fear) but as it goes, they insisted! I learnt so much from these meetings that I just swell up with gratitude! I learnt about leaving my ego out for the sake of getting things done, it’s a funny thing that happens when one is committed to the goal and not looking for individual glory!   I learnt about acceptance, on doing things differently, on cultural differences as well. About how important listening is and people are the same anywhere in the ...

You deserve : eye contact : smiles in the morning : food made with pure intention : clean drinking water, fresh air : Hello, Please, Thank you. : time to think about it : a chance to show them what you’re made of : a second chance : an education : health care, including dental : multiple orgasms : weekends and the summer off : 8 hours of sleep : play before work : to change your mind : to say no : to say yes : to have your deepest needs met : to be seen : to be loved for what is seen. You deserve all this just because you showed up. Yep, you’re that monumental.   Danielle La Porte Show up as yourself every single time! One of the best lessons that I have learnt this year! She asked me “how many you’s do you have?” and I laughed! But I will always remember that question. It came back to me yesterday when I was having a conversation with a brother of mine about being fake, and he said all of us act fake sometimes! Why? Why do we do that? Because we wa...

“Never giving up on my dream of a free and just society! Equal opportunity for all is the dream that I live for, laying these long lonely nights in my cell this dream grows stronger. For this dream I’m prepared to die! I see a brand new day a dawning”. Nelson Mandela! I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the time I spent in South Africa was the catalyst to the transformation of my thinking and my life! I went to South Africa at a time when I was focused on “making it” and “making it” was having a big job, many letters behind my name, a nice car and all the material trappings that society says you need to make it! In my mind I was almost there! I was working for a world renowned company, making dollars, well for my age! I lived in a lovely place overlooking the Thames and I was on just on my way to making it! And then I went to South Africa, and then I went to South Africa and then I went to South Africa!! I boarded the ferry to go to Robben Island, the infamous prison ...

Let us resolve today to ask for what we really want, and only this, that we may spend this day in fearlessness, without confusing pain with joy, or fear with love. (1:9) ACIM Why are you afraid to ask for what you really want? Then you get upset when you do not get it!! Ask for what you want and have the courage to face it if the answer is no! If the answer is no you make another choice! This was my conversation with myself this morning in the mirror! Right now I am going through a period where I have noticed me slipping back into my old habits of not trying to upset people and scared out of my mind to be rejected and not liked! All of that I now learn is a bunch of bollocks! Its totally unnecceasry and a outgrowth of fear! Firstly, there are 6billion people on the planet if one person or even two is not in   your corner so bloody what? There are billions more around who will be! And fear? Hmmm just in my head!! So today I resolve to ask for what I want and to have th...

FORGIVENESS MEANS . . . accepting what is or what has been and becoming willing to see it differently. You cannot un-hear what you have heard or un-see what you have seen. What you can do is stop believing that what occurred has somehow left you broken, damaged and wounded. Forgiveness results in a shift in your perception and yourself and . . .everyone else. For this reason, forgiveness is an absolutely essential step toward your personal growth, healing and evolution. YOU MUST DO THE WORK! Iyanla An excerpt from my recently published book "What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Love" Forgiveness is huge! It was the transport needed to get me to the destination of unconditional self love. I honestly believe that without forgiving and forgiveness the journey takes longer and is definitely bumpier. In fact if you haven’t packed forgiveness you might as well stay at home! It’s really that huge! Forgiveness is not condoning the act ...

When people are critical of you, sincerely thank them. They have just given you a valuable perspective which can help you to become even more effective. In the moments when frustration comes, feel the intense energy that comes with it. Transform that energy into determination, and make it a powerful, positive force . Ralph Marston If its one thing I have learnt on this journey is to give up the judgment! It takes practice because I automatically associate things as good and bad and right and wrong but one of my teachers told me, child, it just is! People are who they are and do what they do whether you like it or agree with them! We each have different lessons to learn, we all take a different path to our lesson, there are times when someone's path will cross your path and cause you to stumble and fall. That does not make them wrong, and that doesn't make you right! The only things that a judgment does is distract you from what it is YOU MUST DO FOR YOURSELF Peace!!...

Without any conditions, that is unconditionally, accept every gift that enters your sacred space.  Look for the opportunity as it presents itself in the wisdom of the uncertainty and in the wisdom of the insecurity that you find yourself in. Marianne Willamson How can uncertainty and insecurity have wisdom in it? Well that is a question I asked myself when I read the above quote and let me tell you, it is the law, when you ask the Universe a question it responds! you may not like the answer but it will definitely answer you! Take it or leave it! So I heard as clear as day. Did you know where you were going to live when you were invited to Uganda?  No! Did you know what the experience would be here in this country? No! And did you acquire wisdom on this journey? Definitely! So what's the problem?   We place so much value on knowing and being in control. Newsflash! we don't know everything and the only thing we can control is our thoughts! So with that in mind...

This morning, my usual practice, I wake up, meditate, read something while drinking a cup of tea and a bowl of fruit! Nothing unusual there, I picked up an Iyanla book and started reading and the tears just started flowing! Now I'm not the tear up type so my first response was , hmm what's going on here sister? stop it! then I thought to myself why? why stop it? obviously there's some trigger happening, feel the feelings and let it go! After I felt light!!!  Still not sure what the trigger was though but thought I would share what I read with you " Thank you for reminding me that it is not loving to hold on to hurt or to withhold forgiveness from myself and others. I thank you for allowing my life to reflect back to me those things about myself that I have been unable to see, unwilling to acknowledge and unable to heal. Thank you for demonstrating to me that I can experience joy and happiness without pain and that the greatest joy of all is being able to accept and ...

How do you react when you think you need people's love? Do you become a slave for their approval? Do you live an inauthentic life because you can't bear the thought that they might disapprove of you? Do you try to figure out how they would like you to be, and then try to become that, like a chameleon? In fact, you never really get their love. You turn into someone you aren't, and then when they say "I love you," you can't believe it, because they're loving a facade. They're loving someone who doesn't even exist, the person you're pretending to be. It's difficult to seek other people's love. It's deadly. In seeking it, you lose what is genuine. This is the prison we create for ourselves as we seek what we already have.” ― Byron Katie I’ve been reading and hearing that   we seek what we already have and I must admit I have been confused about exactly what that means! I kept asking myself so does that mean I have everything t...

We are all imperfect, flawed, neurotic, and quirky. If you think a perfect team (or partner) is one that is quirk-free and collectively has their shit sorted out, then you should probably consider hermitude as an option. Everyone has their weird stuff, they will bring it to the table, and it will cost you money and time. That’s just the way it is . Danielle La Porte She came into the room shouting! Why hasn’t this been done, what is going on? Is anyone in here serious about this place? Everyone was now quiet and either staring at her or staring harder at their screens. I thought to myself hmm ok the fireworks will not start going off. She continued to shout and I tuned off! Then I heard, the next time I come into the room you stand up and greet me and you do it every time until either you and I are no longer here. What? What did I just hear? It just flew out of my mouth! What? You must be joking! Everyone remained quiet, even the lady who is now subjected to the gre...

Journey to Release of Ego Operating out of ego means you are operating out of fear. Operating out of fear means that you always going to be scared and running for your life instead of being in alignment with your life. It’s about really remaining conscious and connected with that piece of yourself that knows that you are not the thoughts in your head…you are not identifying with the thoughts in your head or the things that surround you. You are not defined by your possessions or titles or positions in life…that you are aware and live in the space of awareness and are connected to it in such a way that every day you move from a space of peace. (Oprah’s Life Class) UGANDA She asked “What did you achieve in 2012?”   Now this time I did not just open my mouth and answer as I would normally do. I asked her, “What did you achieve in 2012?” She laughed and said “You are quick, let me tell you my daughter, your achievements are important, particularly when you set goals but mak...

Now please clearly understand that every relationship is a relationship with yourself, firstly, mirrored by the significant other.  After you have accepted yourself, unconditionally, then, secondly, you can give acceptance to them of what, and who, and when, and how, they are. I have been seeing Uganda through someone else’s eyes over the past ten days. I have been seeing myself reflected in someone else over the past ten days! Let me confess here right now, it’s been at times scary as hell! I mean, so many of the things we see in other people and most times do not like is what we have buried deep down inside and people come around, in fact, the Universe sends them, to call you on your stuff! It is actually quite a humbling experience!   So been having fun sharing the experiences and learning and creating new experiences. The Africa that many of us have been taught about falls into a number of categories.   There’s the starving children, there’s the magnificent a...

Step. Up. This is your spotlight speaking. I invite you to put one foot ahead of the next and move. Even if you can't see two steps ahead, I invite you to take the next one. I invite you to your greatness. Even if you think it doesn't exist, I invite you to see it in others' eyes. The world needs you so very much. Do not deny them you. Do not allow one more day to pass without living your light into the world. There is no one else that can do it.It's not their job, it's yours Do it.Now. Step. Up. Nisha Moodley Been in the bush for the past few days on Safari! The place is awesome! I am talking about pure peacefulness and nature, in the animal’s natural habitat! I was so in awe to be close, within touching distance of the giraffes, impala’s, water bucks and wart hog’s! The place we stayed is powered by solar, and just no noise!!! Each morning, the monkeys would come to my room and wake me up! At first I was so frightened! They are bold as ever, they come to...

The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect. When we don't have that, we shape-shift and turn into chameleons; we hustle for the worthiness we already possess.   Brene Brown Yesterday we drove for about 2 hours to meet the Nubian people of Uganda! They greeted us with drumming, singing and dancing which they insisted that we join in and get loose! I did my best!! What struck me was the women drummers, first time in Africa I have seen women and men drumming together. The Nubian people migrated to Uganda from the Nuba mountains in northern Sudan during colonial times, they were brought by the British to fight the Ugandan’s. Today, the Nubian community in Uganda is a minority group recognized in the 1995 constitution. The biggest concentration of Nubians lives in B...

Having a great time chatting with my girl Nadella! Check it out Peace! http://www.thenextwomen.com/2013/11/20/getting-creative-caribbean

Real achievement comes from choosing to achieve, again and again, moment after moment, until the goal is attained. Real achievement comes from choosing to achieve, and then continually reaffirming that choice with action ( Ralph Marston) Stick with it! Stick with the dream, the vision, the project! Stick with it when it seems that its all falling down around you Stick with it even when people keep either telling you that you are crazy or to chill a bit! Stick with it just a little bit longer and see how the magic unfolds! One of my favorite teachers say "the vision will pull you forward" and for me that means to set out exactly what you want! feel it, touch it, visualize it! Write it down and with massive action and focused intention move towards that!! Stick with it!! I'm sticking with it a little bit more today and forward! Peace!!

Creating boundaries is not about convincing someone else to behave in a way that YOU THINK THEY SHOULD . It is about YOU behaving the way you want your life to go . Melanie Evans I was driving alone, now that is usually not something out of the ordinary here in Kampala, but this time it was late at night and I was heading to a place I have never driven myself before. I asked for directions at base, I verbally noted them. Things were going well! Then I made a wrong turn and nothing looked familiar, there were almost no cars on the road so it seemed easy to drive slow and navigate my way! I turned the car around and just as I did the police appeared in front of my car and ordered me to stop! I had to choice of running him over or stopping! Stopping seemed the best option! I stopped the car, the police was livid and shouting to me, pull the car over park it and get into the can I am taking you straight to jail and you collect the car tomorrow morning when you come out. It took...

We arrived at the next town late! the roads to get there are not tarmacked, there was driving rain and as  we entered a different district it was pitch black. "There is no power" the driver said, "we will also reach later than planned because of the rains" We stopped along the way as the woman who was riding with us insisted that she buys tangerines. I was thinking hmm how is she going to buy this in this darkness! Well, they say there is a high level of innovation in Africa. We slowed down in Kamdini town and I just say about 5 lights running towards the car. Vendors saw the car approaching and with torches and their produce, was making a sprint to the car to rival Usain Bolt! They got to the car and offered us tangerines, roasted nuts, corn and mangoes! Ok, so this is how you buy items in the dark, we didn't even have to leave the car As we approached where I was to stay the place seemed to get even darker. " Madam Akosua you cannot stay here, I woul...