What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Pretending is demeaning, and it makes you weak and confused, and it's also a lot of work. I don't do that kind of work anymore. untruth is always complicating, and truth — no matter what the consequences — is always strangely simplifying. )   Elizabeth Gilbert Check yourself- sometimes when you are extremely mentally tired check out if you are walking around with a mask, the mask becomes heavy. Ask yourself, what are you attempting to prove by being something or someone that you are not? There is a difference between being respectful and being fake What do you believe it is you have to lose by pretending, what is so important to you that you have to be someone else to get or keep it? to be accepted? What is it that remains so important? I wanted to be liked, I wanted to avoid conflict, I detested disappointing people and being around any raised loud voices. That was my reason Now I know Everyone cannot like me and there are ways and tools that I c...

We all know sometimes life's hates and troubles  Can make you wish you were born in another time and space  But you can bet you life times that and twice its double  That God knew exactly where he wanted you to be placed  so make sure when you say you're in it but not of it  You're not helping to make this earth a place sometimes called Hell  Change your words into truths and then change that truth into lov e  As By Stevie Wonder How do you show up in the world? How will the world be when you leave it? This is an issue I believe in strongly, making where ever I am a better place The people who came before me and paved a path for me took their responsibility very seriously. According to Maya Angelo - my crown has already been paid for These thoughts came racing back into my head over the weekend with the opening of the African American Museum in Washington DC. Where the history of a people will be told, to inform, educate and instill p...

Stuttering with your new power doesn’t make it any less real. Danielle La Porte You have done the work, in fact , you continue to do the work You have left the relationship that disnonors you and encourages bad behaviour, yours and others You have quit the blood sucking job, the one you drag yourself too daily You have booked the doctor's appointment You have started the therapy, the counselling You have started saving money and making a budget but...... You hit a wall You stumbled Hey, no problem, you stubbed your toe on the ramp, does it mean you are a loser? Hell no Does it mean that you will go back to the old habits and old behaviour? maybe not It's just a stumble, the power is still there, it never left Believe that! Lighten up will ya? Ask yourself, what does the present moment hold? And listen Peace

I allow myself to look at the anger, the fear, the resentment I may be feeling. I don't hide it; that just perpetuates the wrong-mindedness. I am willing to see my own feelings differently as well. I recognize that perhaps I am judging myself for feeling them. So, as I did with the external judgment, I do with the internal: I affirm I am willing to see it differently and ask for help. And I wait. ACIM I got to the meeting early, I sat down around the table surrounded by people who have important roles in the organisation according to their titles. I secretly sent love to everyone in the room and prayed for a good meeting and to be guided- not by the ego. The discussion was interesting, I listened intently, I see every encounter as an opportunity to learn and grow. I said my piece and there it was, someone around the table did not agree and decided to show it very passionately. I listened and honestly got so angry and judgmental. the thoughts that passed through my mi...

If we hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being Maya  Angelou Your process in your life's journey is step by step. STEP - "Success Treasures Enthusiastic Persistence" Step by step, inch by inch, moment by moment ants build an anthill. Come rain, come shine, step by step, inch by inch, moment by moment - and after a while the anthill is complete. The first step in the process of your life is creating a goal for you. What inspires you, what are you passionate about, what excites you, what touches your heart? The Next Step - is to ask yourself: Are you prepared to put in the effort and the sacrifices that require commitment to your goal? The Next Step - is to make sure you are committed to risk your all, to persist through fear, doubt, discouragement, discomfort, routine, boredom and frustration. The Next Step - is to discover if...

you must build from a place of contentment rather than from need. from a place of desire rather than obligation  or duty or fear. Iyanla It's easy to be fine and content when things are going well and swimming along nicely. It is easy to spend money and make investments when you have money and safe access to money. The challenges come when you don't have or cannot see - as they say where I am from "when you cyan't see yuh way" This is where faith and belief comes in. This is where the rubber hots the road. The ability to see a way out of no way. The Law of Polarity states  that everything that exists has an equal and exact opposite. To put it even stronger: for anything to exist, there has to be an equal and exact opposite. For example: you cannot experience sadness without having an idea about happiness. Light cannot be experienced as such if you don’t know what darkness is. To feel successful, you must have a sense of what failure is. Having become ...

Commit to small, daily actions.  They build into big ones. Everyday actions lead to the large leaps. And they help build our foundation for confidence - Maxi McCoy Today launched the NiNa Programme 6th Cycle - the programme is in it's 6th year. When I started it my intention was to use my time to give back something instead of feeling sorry for myself. Today they reminded me it was 6 years, I did not even realize that so much time had passed. We started going down memory lane and having fun with it, all the lessons we had learnt from Day one. I am pretty grateful and humbled by it all I was also asked  today about growing the programme. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a business woman when I first got into the game back in London in the early 2000's - she told me as I grow, my business will grow, when I decide that growth is essential then it will happen, when the Universe wants to push me to grow there will be growth, either way it will happen. Inside the m...

It is pointless to try to shift and change external circumstances in our physical worlds without first addressing what is going on in our internal worlds. The outer is always a reflection of the inner. So get to know yourself.....what is going on within you that is creating your current reality?   -Sabrina Yesterday I had the opportunity to be among a community group, I have been working with this group for a little while. They have a huge vision and intention to empower their community for future generations. A lofty goal but hey, start at the top and dream big I say. To see the evolution of this is phenomenal, the major difference in the time that I have been there is, as I was talking about yesterday, a combination of consistency and discipline and a change of mind set The mind set of responsibility - we are responsible for ourselves The mind set of partnership - let's partner with people, let us corporate, it is not about competition but corporation The mind set of the ...

Honesty does not apply only to what you say. The term actually means consistency. There is nothing you say that contradicts what you think or do; no thought opposes any other thought; no act belies your word; and no word lacks agreement with another. Such are the truly honest. At no level are they in conflict with themselves. Therefore it is impossible for them to be in conflict with anyone or anything. ACIM Consistency and discipline - two qualities I aspire to daily. I believe that these two qualities are the best way to achieve our fullest potential. Consistency- in every part of your lives. In what you say, in what you do, in how you live.  Consistency and discipline can be applied to any area of your life- studying, exercising, work., relationships. If you are consistent and disciplined, it becomes a habit, and will inevitably contribute to a lifestyle. Even small drops over time full a bucket. What happens many times is that we start something all hot and sweat...

Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. ACIM Last night I had no plans of going to the Restorative Yoga Class, I wanted to get home have my Skype meeting, read up on the weekend's football then hit my bed early.   As I was walking home I saw a really good  friend , she asked me to go to Yoga with her, well she pleaded. Okay then, I will go, I've relented, since you asked so nicely. As I sat waiting on the class to start a very well known lady walked in, she could barely walk, she had a walking stick as her aid. My mouth fell open. I would see her around town, on the newspapers, the television, well everyone would see her, she was a hard worker, successful, at the gym, doing her thing. After the class I asked the teacher what happened to her She said "Stress" I had to ask again just to confirm what I heard "Did you say stress?" "Yes - it's all stress related, and not taking time to ...

Just sit for a minute - Inner Light I wanted to share some points that I got from a lecture by Deborah L Johnson which came, as usual, right on time, for me. This week upon reflection, I have learnt that life is whole - the departmentalization of life is a set up for sufferation. There is you that shows up for all of life, there is not a different you that show up for different occasions - how confusing is that to wear so many different masks?  not just for you but for everyone else around you There is not YOU and LIFE There is not YOU trying to do life You are activity in motion We are life itself - it is not happening to us Turn to your own self as evidence of life When you are coming up with the who you are just don't come up with the things you have, the things you own, the outer things What is the activity of your life? What is the vibration of your life? What are you resonating with? The test is to demonstrate what you have to demonstrate success. Life is not...

Get to know yourself - we spend time looking outside of ourselves for something or someone to tell us who we are - Take the time to know who you are - Marianne Williamson Do you label yourself? What do you express yourself as? What comes after your "I AM?" How did you get to that space? I have been paying attention to how I label myself, because I truly believe that I have the power to manifest my reality through my words and my thoughts. Noticing this I caught myself saying "OMG I am so weak" - No you're not, you aren't weak Continually labelling yourself weak will not turn out well for you I also started noticing what other people were telling me about themselves I am so stupid I only eat fruits before 9am I am full of shit OMG, the self abuse is too much Watch the way you describe yourself, talk to yourself, express yourself What's even more startling is when we affirm the positive, we express ourselves in a positive way people get...

Your value and worth is not something you attain, it is something you express - Marianne Williamson The most powerful thing you can ask me is " How do you feel?" Feelings are guides, they provide guidance in everything, every single thing! Feelings buried alive don't die, they fester All feelings are valid, all of them You may not agree with the people around you however  that is never a reason to dismiss your feelings The challenge comes when feelings are not expressed or not expressed in a healthy way. Respect people's feelings, they are valid Respect yours, it is your GPS Dismissing them dishonours you and your journey Peace

The only way you can make something different is to do something different - Marianne Williamson We create all the time. Creativity is not confined to the artists, we are born to create. That is why we are here. Creativity is our gift. We are always creating- consciously or subconsciously. Our creation begins with our thoughts- what are you thinking? Do you really want to know? Watch your life. It really is that simple The thought process is the genesis.  What are you thinking? What are you thinking? What are you thinking? We have been given the power- the power to name things great, this is part of our manifestation tools which all start with thoughts Do an experiment, when you think about something on a consistent basis see what happens Changing your thoughts is the first step in changing your life How awesome is it that we can change our mind anytime we want, that we can make new choices at any time we desire This is the basis of living our highest liv...

Our problems need energy to live." Tony   Here's the perfect recipe to ruin your day, ruin your month, or end up in a year-long funk (if you want one):  have something happen you can't control, try and control it, get worked up about it, tell all 25 of your best friends about it, end up in long conversations about it every chance you get, think about it all the time, obsess over how none of it is going right, pour a ton of emotion on the flame of the problem turning into a bonfire, do nothing to correct it other than worry, freak, cry, and panic...and you have a breakdown in the making. You have so much suffering. Life doesn't have to be like that. It's not supposed to feel like that. Things are going to happen. Life will break you. Humans will hurt you. We know that. But the meaning you give to it, the energy you add to it will keep it living, growing, and festering until negativity shows up everywhere: in your words, in your outlook, in your body, in your en...

Don't water down what you are doing so that people will agree with you- Marianne Williamson As a recovering people pleaser this new phase of my life can be quite challenging at times. I rub people the wrong way with some of my actions, words and deeds. For many reasons, which I cannot give all, because I really do not know all of them. I rub up on some wounds that are either being healed, are still open or festering. When a wound is touched it is most times painful. I get that. I get that there are things that people will not be ready to face, I get that there are some things which are not ready to be dealt with. I get it. I know now, that I must be willing to know that some people will be pissed off with the message I am sharing. Not everyone will be ready,open and happy about it. And I am okay with that. Every thang a'int for everybody! It is not my responsibility to change how people feel. My responsibility is to have the intention of sharing my story with authentic...

Perception is a choice and not a fact - ACIM Perception, I have learnt, is determined by  a combination of my beliefs and my  experiences. I totally agree  that it a choice  and as with choices, another one can always be made. I have been practicing changing my  choices where perceptions are concerned because really it is only a change of mind. When the  Resistance to changing my perceptions comes up, I ask myself why? why the resistance to an alternative view? Let's take an example. My perception on my own ability to generate income from speaking, writing and working with women and girls has always been that it is a "side job", and that earning a living from it would be damm near impossible. I have made a choice to change that perception because it is not a fact and more importantly because it blocks my blessings. I continue to treat the opportunities as side jobs- all of this affects me and the outcome subconsciously. For this reason, I have dec...

All you gotta do is say yes.  Open up your mind and just rest Floetry I was having a discussion with a friend about Universal Laws, she asked me if God wrote those laws and I said yes, she asked me to show her. We were not able to continue this discussion.  I thought about what she asked me - "Did God write these laws?" What did God NOT create? A Course in Miracles says all of us are messengers of God and God is in everything and uses everything that we make for his purpose. I thought about how much we forget who we are and act from that space of forgetting. We do, say, and create things that prove that we have forgotten. Self sabotage, encouraging people behaving badly in our lives, accepting less than what we deserve, self doubt,the list goes on and on. I thought about how powerful we are just because of who we are- children of the Most High I thought about how many of us search for so much outside of ourselves, when it really is all inside us I though...

“ This is what I know for sure, you don’t get what you wish for, you don’t even get what you hope for. You get what you believe. ” Oprah Honey, get your BS right! Yes, your BS - Belief System Because as Oprah says, you get what you believe When you are at peace with what you have done, with what you have created it is from a place of belief When you are at the point of not having to prove anything or to anyone, you are acting from a place of belief I did not understand the whole point about self belief fully until I took the time to think about why I was "losing" certain things or not being able to hold on or get certain things Do you believe that you deserve love? Do you believe you deserve success? Do you believe you deserve abundance? Do you believe you deserve harmony? All the "things" you acquire are in an attempt to "get" love, recognition, harmony, and peace they represent them but no thing can be love, no thing can be harmony. The ...

Releasing emotions is something we do naturally. Emotions seek release. Laughter can release fear and embarrassment. Tears and sobbing release grief. Trembling releases fear. Yawning can release tension, and animated talk often releases boredom. Emotions are neither right nor wrong, good nor bad. Our only job is to permit them, fully experience them, and then choose ways to respond to them—if we choose to respond at all. Dave Ellis Yesterday Pouie Productions hosted me at a reading. A gathering of women with their own stories who were willing to share in this non judgmental space. We laughed, we cried, we hugged. After it all they expressed that they felt lighter, that they were no longer feeling alone, it was comforting to know that other people had similar stories. Carrying around a mask 24/7 and 365 days a year can be tiring, it becomes heavy, a burden. It takes courage to live your own life. People want to be liked, they like comfort. Living your own life may rock some b...

Breakdowns suck. They're full fallouts. You've lost a job. You're on the verge. You got passed over. You were totally rejected. You know them when you're in them and when you're in them you want O U T. Anywhere but there. The best thing you can do is stay really present. Ask the ole #universe for help. And follow your gut. The answer may not show up right away, but it will eventually. And until it does, do everything you can to return to your essence. To stay in a place that feels good – hobbies, people, activities, and joys that fuel your soul. And most importantly, keep your chin up. So you can see what shows up. If it surprises you completely, but it feels right in your bones, move. Don't overthink it. Don't over analyze it. Just listen to that feeling of rightness and moooooove Maxi McCoy I decided to do an experiment. I wanted to test the theory of leaning in and being fully present in a moment, wholly, holy and true in a moment that was totally un...

Ask yourself: “What am I doing right now in order to avoid the pain or situation?” Are you on Facebook? Playing video games? Smoking again? Eating your 12th cookie in an hour?  “By behaving this way, what am I avoiding?” When you find the answer, face it . Marianne Selenee This is going to be short and sweet Until you acknowledge and accept what is going on, nothing can happen to move you to the other side of the experience That is all Peace

When you live authentically you have no time to waste emotion on temporary and sometimes necessary setbacks. The focus for you is always long term and on what possibilities patience and hard work will garner when you continue pressing forward. You are relationship-oriented. The authentic leader knows certain battles must be lost to win the war. Raise The Vibration There is no magic wand, no magic dust, no fairy dust either. It takes consistency,  discipline and self-belief to live a big life. Self Belief involves SELF, other people may not agree or co-sign to what you are called to do. Get comfortable with that- and fast. A big life is a life of peace, contentment and joy. A big life is one where you take responsibility  for your life and you aren't playing a victim role. A big life is one where you use your gifts without apology to make where you are a better place, to allow you to live your highest life You show up - with faith - in love, knowing that seeds have ...

A boundary is a demonstration of self-respect and respect for others. When you know what is expected of you, you have the power to choose whether or not you want to participate or be in relationship with people. Boundaries related to privacy, confidentiality, time requirements, personal space or property and commitment expectations serve to create, facilitate and enhance the  quality and integrity of any relationship. It is your duty to take responsibility for how you expect and allow others to treat you Iyanla Vanzant My biggest challenge was setting and keeping boundaries, especially in intimate relationships. I learnt after that this came from a place of limited self love and wanting to please people. I was a people pleaser. I wanted to always have everyone be fine and happy with me and so I would allow all sorts of bad behavior - not that I did not say anything about it but I never took responsibility for any change, they were just told and there were no repercussions and ...

Life can bring us through many changes it's alright (It's gonna be alright) Just don't give up know that it's gonna be alright People come and they go  It's just the way that it goes Everything is everything... It's alright! Ledisi This is one of my favorite jams. Ledisi's Alright. I had the absolute joy of seeing her perform it live and it was way beyond marvelous.  The message is simple, positive and straight to the point. Like me! Well ok, I am simple and positive - straight to the point, not yet, I , as my Brit friends say, "go round  the houses" to get to the point. Anyways, I digress. This jam coupled with my one of my other favorite lessons "this too shall pass" was my medicine today This too shall pass does not mean wait for everything to blow over while you hide and run or take cover, it really says to me that there is a season for everything, and just as rain cannot fall 365 days a year, what you are going through w...

Take Responsibility - in any situation ask How did I create this? How can I create a new result?   Dave Ellis Who do your outsource your life to? When I was married I depended on my husband for my happiness as well as, my safety. It just seemed natural. When he decided  to leave I was so used to outsourcing those things I resented the fact that I had to make some changes, for months I was like a fish out of water, it did not turn out well for me. I neglected so many things including paying some of my bills and let him know that because of him my life was "falling apart" And then one day it hit me like a brick - you are outsourcing your whole life! New times involve new actions. I really had to laugh at myself. I took this to whole other level. I now simply refused to ask anyone for anything, to ask for help- yea I take things to the extreme- I'm working on that My point it, we are responsible for our lives, that involves making choices and living with the consequence...