Feel

“grieve. so that you can be free to feel something else.” ― Nayyirah Waheed

One of my favorite lessons is  "feel my feelings." Feel them. When you bury them alive they don't die.
You bury them and they fester, they manifest in dis-ease, in anger, in fear, in lashing out and poor decisions. Feel them and let them go.
I was taught to suck it up, to be strong, to have on big girl panties. And I know this was taught to me by my grandma because she had to do that to survive, showing feelings in her day was a sign of weakness which would result in a beating, a whipping or some sort of punishment


I resisted this lesson for a very long time. Feel the feelings? Are you kidding me? I will not be able to function, I will just fix and put them aside.
And so my approach was to forget it, put it out of my mind and fix it.
Until the proverbial shit hit the fan.
Then I realized that I could not fix everything and in particular there was nothing "wrong" with me that needed fixing.
I decided to feel, and boy oh boy, it was through the fire, I felt, I burnt, I laughed, I cried, I howled, I bawled, I stayed in my PJ's for 2 days, I released
I learnt that the process was to feel.deal.heal
and the process begins with feel
not fix
not  be busy
not judge
not criticize
not complain
not hide
not blame
not eat copious amounts of chocolate
Feel
Feel it, deal with it and it will be healed. Heal it
Peace