What did I learn today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

As the curtain falls on 2016, I am grateful. Grateful for the lessons, the triumphs, the trips, the friends gained and lost, the lessons and the love. My most telling lesson was do absolutely nothing with the intention to prove and do it all in love. From that space everything follows. I made a many decisions in fear, fear of what would happen to me, fear of what people would say or not day and it left me drained and draining. I have surely learnt my lesson. I am looking forward to this year, I love the uncertainty, I love it, it is so exciting knowing that anything can happen at anytime and all of it, yes all of it is FOR me and I have the awesome ability to make another choice, to change my mind, to choose with love I want to thank everyone who has read my blogs, come to my events, bought my books, watched my Ted Talk, watched my videos, shared lessons on the journey and just supported I thank you I love you Peace Blessings to you and yours for a wonderful 2017 and beyond...

Be mindful not to forget that which needs to be remembered. Be sure to remember to let go of what no longer needs to be held. It's a balancing game. Align self everyday - Natalie Stewart How do we use what we have to make where we are a better place than how we found it? My simple answer is Be Yourself, and by that I mean not be an ass and inflexible - saying this is who I am take me or leave me. How do you pull out the best YOU? Acting in service of yourself in love. Acting from a place of love firstly love of yourself which it all starts from I have learnt, self love contributes to EVERYTHING Food Friends Entertainment Relationships you name it!? Every.single.ting. Start there Peace

I found that every single successful person I’ve ever spoken to had a turning point and the turning point was where they made a clear, specific, unequivocal decision that they were not going to live like this anymore. Some people make that decision at 15 and some people make it at 50 and most never make it at all.” You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big question: Is that okay? Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. ” Jim Rohn As 2016 comes to a close I have been making some firm decisions, like really really firm ones, about what I want and what I will be leaving behind. I'm on it! On it like I want it Finances - big big one - Never ever again I want to be here in this position where its l...

Elevate your mind free your soul Soul to Soul Stand guard at the door of your mind was one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received. Watch what you let in to your mind,watch what you let out too My thoughts I have learnt manifests itself into my life, when I want an idea of what I am thinking I look at my life, and sometimes I smile, I celebrate I say wow and other times I use the famous saying "What on earth were you thinking?" I do my best to organise my thoughts in a way that works for me, to remind myself that thoughts make things With that in mind I want to share with you Unveiling 2017. It's free, download it, share it, link it. From me to you Peace http://www.akosuadardaineedwards.com/publications/

Listen, every day comes with countless opportunities for you to go nuts, to be upset, to judge, to feel sad and small and hopeless or whatever. If you want to go there, you can. But what not enough of us realize yet is that there is another option available. You can also go into your day remembering who you are - an extension of God, here to spread light and love. And when something or someone triggers you, you can choose,  Nope I'm not gonna go there. I'm gonna stand my ground and be the most kind, loving, forgiving and compassionate person I can be. All that darkness coming my way - I'm just gonna let it slide right off and participate in spreading the light. Elisa Lionne How do you approach the day? Every day Free will allows us the opportunity to respond in any which way we can. What a beautiful thing. How we show up, How we respond makes up the story of our life. Remember that in this holiday season and even after, you always have a choice on how...

Many times we focus on what’s missing, what we don't have and all that does is draw more of the same on to you. And when that happens, we beat up ourselves, with that the cycle continues. Excerpt from What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love What do you have? What is good? What makes you smile? Focus on that today, especially in this season of giving, it can be daunting to focus on what is missing - love, money, sunshine, friends, family and the list goes on While that is the case they may indeed be out of the picture for now there is always something good to focus on, be grateful for and smile about My request to you today is to focus on that because as the law proves, what you focus on grows Peace

Our attachments are always based on fear. We stay attached to a job, a belief system, a relationship, a city, behavioral patterns, addictions or negative mental thought processes ~ that no longer serves us ~ because we are afraid of the unknown, the what if's... and we don't want to step out of our comfort zones. Sabrina Reber  Are you willing to lose it all to gain it all? As soon as I heard the question is jolted me out of my sleep walking state. I mean, who will be willing to lose it all I asked myself?  Are you willing? Willing in this case means prepared to do Are you prepared to do that thing which is required to gain it all, which can include losing it all? Fear keeps us stuck in one spot, it halts us in the same position because of the unknown. We know what we have and the unknown is not guaranteed. It is pretty scary to lose what you have without a guarantee that something better will replace it, and that is the battle we face We want guarantees now, e...

Just put it on the table and let people deal with it - Michelle Obama How many times have we dimmed our light? How many times have we been afraid to admit- even to our own damm selves that we did a good job, that we are smart and worked hard? How many times have we dumb it down to make people feel comfortable around us? Hell, I have been doing that and sometimes unconsciously but you know what? Knowledge is power and once we know we cannot go back to acting as if we don't know So here is the thing - It ends NOW As Ms Obama says- put it out there, let people deal with the you that is beautiful, powerful, smart, bright, amazing, and awesome. And if they cannot deal with it, then breathe and walk out with your head held high There is nothing more demeaning than dismissing your own power Don't do it Do you Peace

For we are a reflection of our surroundings So allow me to surround I with Love, Self Love and Acceptance. For anything else is irrelevant. Anything else is a sentiment Floacist It starts with you. How you treat you, then it extends to who is in your crew. Who is in the circle. What you allow will continue. Some things are just non negotiable and that must be a conscious decision, if it is not then it must be one taken based on experiences.  What are some of your non negotiables? Do you even have any?  I have learnt that somethings are just off the table, those who want to bring them back on the table unfortunately cannot become part of my crew. This decision I have also learnt is an absolute life saver And so it is Peace

Get this groove get you to move, it's alright, alright, alright - Earth Wind and Fire As the year comes to a close, I am reminded of how "alright" everything really is. No, seriously, it really is "alright". Everything, every occurrence, every heartbreak, every celebration, every encounter is not by chance. It is a combination of our beliefs and vibes we send out coupled with the Universe sending us a message. What happens is that we get bogged down in fear, shame, how it will look, how much time we "invested" in the thing and what will happen next. As a Course in Miracles taught me be willing to see it differently, Start there And so  as 2016 comes to a close, I am getting into the groove because its alright! It's alright to give thanks despite how it looks to you now It's alright to feel the feelings It's alright to cry It's alright to laugh at yourself at times It's alright to take a break It'alright to celebrat...

You never told me you were waiting. Contemplating - SOS Band  In the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, he talks about not making assumptions but asking questions to be absolutely clear. Doing that requires courage and knowing that you may hear a response that may not be what to hear. There is the danger of running around in your head with a made up story without knowing the real deal when you don't have the courage or whatever it takes to ask and be clear In my country they say when you make assumptions it can make an ass out of you So what would it take to asking these hard questions apart from courage? 1. Self Belief - believing that whatever the outcome and answer you are ready and capable to handle it 2. Trust - Trust yourself, trust the process 3. Honesty - complete and sometimes brutal honesty is required 4. Believing that the other party will take responsibility for their feelings Peace

what was never true is not true now, and never will be ACIM An untruth cannot be changed into truth, despite our best intentions and wishes. We tend to make up stories. We make them up for different reasons when we are faced with the truth It isn't supposed to be like this I can make it better Maybe I can live with this It will change I will ignore it and it will go away Maybe, maybe not, but the truth is the truth no matter what reasons, rationale, justification or excuses we make The challenge is once we know we cannot go back to not knowing, with knowledge comes responsibility. Many times it is scary to move, especially when it involves change and the unknown. Who says action must happen right away, we can take our time before we move, meditate, ask questions, pray, then act. The most important thing is there is nothing to fear and it is all lessons That's the truth Peace

Whatever win you had today, whether it's getting the laundry done, or writing that one blog post, or actually meditating, or remembering your friends birthday, or achieving a BIG goal...celebrate it. Acknowledge what you've done. Take inventory of what you do. I know there will always be more on the table. There will be a list longer than the Mississippi waiting for your attention. But with each thing you've accomplished, big and small, c e l e b r a t e. ..  yourself. Maxi McCoy I'm celebrating today! Yes I am, a party with me myself and I! why? I am  usually always on to the next thing, never stopping to say job well done, or take in the hurdles that I have crossed. It's about what's next, what to do, what do I still have to do, what is missing? I'm celebrating every little step I have made today, I just dropped my Journal and I'm off again figuring out how to "get" to the next milestone! No, not today,  Today its a celebration, I am celeb...

Anything (person, place, gig, idea, arrangement, obligation, practice, policy...) that does not resonate with your deep heart... is distraction. Activity that pulls you away from your true strengths… is distraction. Thoughts that do not sync with your deep trust… is distraction. Relationships that do not support your full potential… distraction. All the opposites of your pleasure, your strength, your truth… distraction Danielle La Porte  It takes determination to fool proof the distractions It takes courage to fool proof the distractions It takes self belief to fool proof the distractions It takes discipline to fool proof the distractions According to Danielle La Porte " Distraction is inevitable, it’s essential, even, because we learn through contrast. Distraction is a gear that we grind to move forward" The challenge is being stuck in the holding pattern of being distracted! it also is when you have managed to come out of the pattern wha...

Action just for the sake of action isn't always helpful. Maxie McCoy I have been attempting to sort financing for a car for the past six months. I honestly believed that my actions before of paying off all my debts and not venturing into any more by using cash only, were in my best interests. The exercise showed me how much knowledge is key, and my perception of what is best may be nest for a time or a purpose.  And then when the rejections started coming in thick and fast I realised that I was sadly mistaken, my actions were in direct contravention to what these financial institutions wanted more than that, the more I resisted the more the process became frustrating. The more time I took dwelling on what I did not have the less I actually had.  I felt like I was in quick sand, and the more I looked for finance the more it eluded me in every part of my life. The jobs, the books, just basic having money too! I was panicking. Then I took out the lesson tool box, first thi...

Ask yourself: Who did I serve today? Iyanla This week I am scheduled to spend with some young women from what we like to call here "hot spots" - areas that are considered high in crime and social issues I am always happy to be given the opportunity to share lessons on the journey as I myself learn from the young people. What I learnt is that they want to be loved, to feel as if they are being heard and that they matter. I think we all want to feel this way. And more than anything I approach the time I spent with them with this in mind. I also extend it to everyone that I meet. As Maya Angelou says people may forget what you said, maybe what you did however they will always remember how you made them feel. Peace

Courage precedes clarity - Mastin Kipp What would you do if you were not afraid? This question has pushed me into many of the many amazing and adventurous sometimes scary events of my life. What would you do if you were not afraid Akosua? I ask myself when I am stuck, when I am indecisive, when I am procrastinating. You see, the fear factor stops me many of time! What about you? Do you stop yourself when you analyse the what if's? and most times it is the worst case scenario what if's? So to move past that whole conversation and feeling I ask myself the question and answer honestly as I truly believe that there is nothing to fear. I know for the next couple of weeks this question will be on loop, on repeat as I move into completely new areas and challenges. I invite you ask yourself as well and let's share and swap stories Peace My Tedx talk - There is Power in your story have a look, link it.share it. like it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH1K7nRGrYc

be very careful about passing judgment on each other’s learning experiences.   Raise Your Vibration One of my daily prayers is "Please allow me to release all judgement"  The struggle is real! From wanting things my way From not knowing the full story From the timing being out of sync And yada yada yada Judgement How something "should" be I should be further along in my life and finances right now I should be over the divorce All this shoulding on myself! And when this happens I do the same on others All this triggered by both a conversation and the fact that society has told me that I am a "financial risk" I know there is a lesson in there somewhere including me taking responsibility for myself and my finances My responsibility now is to get still, listen, get the lesson and get out of the mess When I judge others I judge myself and vice versa- the cycle continues Everyone has their own lives, lessons and journey that is an undeniable ...

it was amazing to feel myself becoming more me than ever. But in-between those power-moments was some ugly terror and resentment. Bones into soup. Comfort into chaos. Commitments into dissolution. This is what healing looks like . Danielle La Porte Have you ever listened to yourself tell a story or answer a question from someone who asked something which you really didn't like or felt slight discomfort in answering? I have been paying attention to the words I utter in those situations. I started paying attention to remind myself that words have power and how I express myself can and usually does show up in my world, whether I am taking responsibility or outsourcing it. I have learnt that ,Listening is an art, it starts with listening to yourself, it gives you the practice to listen to others and to listen to what is around you. Listening promotes awareness and learning, two key qualities in living a full authentic life.  When you listen, you discover. You explore...

Stop thinking that because you feel lost, confused, or unsure, you don't have what it takes. You've gotten yourself into something new that will teach you and that will push your life to new heights. Look for new areas where you’re scared as hell... and hug 'em, thank 'em, because it means you're pushing the boundaries of life. Maxie McCoy I'm so so  proud of this moment I had the absolute privilege to be a part of the TEDX  Family last month, I was invited to do a TED Talk, and this is it - What Are You Doing with your story? Link it, share it, like it, talk about it - to me and to others I thank you in advance Peace https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH1K7nRGrYc

Words are alive, cut them and they bleed  R alph Waldo Emerson I decided to pay attention and practice the whole concept of words have power and even saying some things subconsciously manifest itself into reality.  Just a quick note to share that and ask if you want to share the challenge Peace

"wherever you go for the rest of your life, you're always in the middle of the universe and the circle is always around you. Everyone who walks up to you has entered that sacred space, and it's not an accident. Whatever comes into the space is there to teach you" Pema Chodron As the year comes to a close I usually take the time to reflect on the past 12 months, how I have grown and what I have learnt. I must admit 2016 has been a year of many many lessons some of them painful ones, I still give thanks because I truly believe that everything is happening for me not to me. Here are my top ten lessons for 2016 1. You are the one demonstrating to others how to treat you by your own actions and what you allow - People feed off your vibes, if there are no boundaries involved it is easy to ride rough. You can be kind but firm, you can be a good person without being a doormat 2. Feel all your feelings, all of them - It is the best and fastest way to heal. Feelings b...

We can’t change anything if we don’t first acknowledge it! Accept where you are right here, right now and know you have the power within you to make new choices that will expand your consciousness moving you into an upward spiral where you have the potential to raise your vibration high enough so you can attain divine union with your God self . Sabrina Reber So this morning I'm on Facebook, and the "Your Memories on Facebook" pop up on my feed, OMG just everything is always right on time all the time!  This was a sweet piece of advice that was given to me as I was contemplating leaving to come back to Trinidad , as I leave 2016 it is so fitting. I am sharing What did I learn today? Start with YES!! What happens when you leave here? All the possibilities scare you to death! The dragons are not to be slain but to be befriended you don’t have to know where you going but to trust that you are going in the right direction, the back that you are going to is going ...

There is something about the attitude of gratitude. It is a decoder and it allows you to see possibilities, whatever it is, financial affairs, body temple, you name it. It allows you to see things you were missing before Rev Johnson Today I have the pleasure and opportunity to speak at the University of the West Indies - I walked those halls a few years ago, sat in the library all day studying for my accounting exams, not having a clue on what the future held but resolute in my mind that I would be successful. Back then success meant having things and a family, 2 children a dog and a big lawn where I could smell the grass freshly cut. Today it is a whole other definition I am graeful for the lessons, the redefinition of success and more importantly the opportunity to return and share the lessons on the journey What I have learnt is that no matter what it looks like - it is happening FOR you not TO you. Pay attention and see where it leads when you change your view on it Friday...

You may not have a vacation home in Hawaii, but you have a cozy roof above your head in a city you love. Success. Maxie I have a small circle of peeps! so small they can fit comfortably in an SUV. I appreciate them - I really ought to tell them more - but I digress They support me, they keep it real with me and they are doing their own thing in their own way. I accept that as well This is one of my definition of success. Some of them I don't speak to every day and many times there is no need but when we speak its on!!! I have learnt to appreciate the people who support and love you, I have learnt that we don't always have to speak daily to know that we care (social media helps heaps) I have learnt that acceptance of what they are doing is key to authenticity. I have learnt that we are never alone even if we think that we are.  Giving thanks for my peeps today and tomorrow and beyond Love Y'all  Peace

The greatest service I can offer is prayer - Iyanla Here is a prayer for you today Blessed and Divine Holy Spirit I thank you right now for the manifestation of every good intention I ever had. I thank you that my good intentions manifest so that I can experience a deeper sense of self-love and self-appreciation I thank you for the light and energy of your love that support my intention to know, experience and express the truth of who I am. I thank you for the race and mercy of your love that supports my intention to become a light of inspiration to others in my life and to the world I thank you for the wisdom hat supports my intention to be more loving and accepting of others I thank you for allowing my life to reflect back to me those things I have been unable to see, unwilling to acknowledge and unable to heal. Thank you for demonstrating to me that I can experience joy and happiness without pain and that the greatest joy of all is being able to accept and embrace mys...

Let's chill - Guy After many hours of flying and airports and waiting and terminals I made it back home. Felt good to be in my own bed,to just chill. I was even happy to get back to a routine, wake up take a run, drink a coconut water and a peanut punch then binge watch football all day, It really is the simple things that make my soul happy. So,  I'm back at home,  it's a new dawn,  a new day, a perfect moment to embrace change! I am looking forward to what is in store as I wind down 2016! Give thanks Thank you for accompanying me on the journey - I did in fact return stronger Peace

Surrender helps to heal fear filled wanting and not having Iyanla Sharing this.... The Value in the Valley I recently experienced a severe financial setback which caused me to question and doubt myself, as well as every good work I had ever done I was in fear of being wrong. I could not believe that with sales of two books I could not pay my rent and  even had no aluminum foil to cover my stove burners. Still, I made public appearances, usually praying that lunch will be served to cut down on the food bill. It was a truly humbling experience which I am surviving by learning to surrender. The first thing you must surrender when you are a penniless public figure is your ego You are being forced to make a decision between living your truth and living what you want others to believe about you As black women we are indoctrinated to believe that our self-worth is attached to our net worth. When we have money we feel valuable and worthy. We use money to buy things to support th...

The greatest service I can offer is...not engaging in crimes against myself. Iyanla Vanzant You cannot be useful to yourself, others or God if you run yourself ragged. Most of us believe that in order to be useful, helpful or in service, we must give our all, all of the time. We become YES people. We say yes when we are tired. Yes when we are busy doing other things. We say yes when we know there is no way we can take on anything else. You may believe that in order to be worthy of the love, admiration or respect of others, you must always say yes. What you may not understand is that there are times when saying yes causes you to make a necessary sacrifices. There is a passage in "A Course in Miracles" that says, "Giving of yourself to the point of sacrifice makes the other person a thief!" When you allow others to take what you need, what you have earned, what you deserve, you are making a sacrifice. When you sacrifice, you are not giving freely. Nor are you se...

Be grateful for the yes’s.  They’re there. Maybe not right now. Gratitude will bring more of them . Maxie Mc Coy As I get ready to leave Nairobi for London, I am so grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to be here, to meet all these amazing people who are doing their best to change their lives and by extension change the world.  Change truly starts with ourselves, and taking responsibility for our actions. I am grateful for the people who invited me into their lives either through their businesses or their homes, their cooking of meals, sharing of stories and wisdom. I am grateful for safe journeys and angels I met along the way for the ability to see new cultures and ways of life for the giraffes that I touched and the monkeys that ran past me as I walked home. I am grateful for God's grace  have and the discernment that I have all that it takes to do the things that I desire and to not be afraid, there are many people doing things that you want to do and you a...

Smallness might feel better. Bigness might look better. But in between those two stages is the demand to expand. Realize what's going on and always push to be the biggest and best version of yourself that you can possibly be. I met with a colleague today who won a start up competition in Nigeria which allowed them to go to Silicon Valley to pitch their idea to some venture capitalists for funding. They are now in their 4th year of operations and doing some marvelous things to make the lives of their fellow Kenyan's better using technology and passion I was and am so inspired by their story. We were discussing how people see the end and the so called glamour and not the hard work, the challenges and obstacles that go into the journey We shared stories about how there were times when eating a full meal was out of the question because of either lack of money or feeling bad to ask for help, we shared stories about travelling to other countries and thinking about how will we...

Improvements don’t have to be dramatic Tony Hsieh The much anticipated day off! I took a taxi to the nature trail where the giraffe's are known to be friendly enough to be fed. (I am really taking advantage of the whole Uber scene- it's a brilliant twist of getting a taxi) The giraffe is a beautiful graceful animal, I spent the day at the center just marveling at them, I did a small nature trail walk then went for a coffee at the Java House - I usually don't have coffee but being in Kenya puts a whole different twist on coffee- it is absolutely divine! I realised that I was close to where I was staying after having my divine coffee, I decided to walk home. It brings a different perspective seeing the people on the ground when on foot rather than in a taxi Rest is productive! Peace

  Observe and learn.  Often when things don't turn out we can be relieved in retrospect.  Something different or better emerges. Wait a while. Carole Forde They came to pay the hotel bill at 3pm I was supposed to leave for the airport at that time She walked in with a type of fire that I seldom see, she told them off for "keeping a foreign visitor hostage" she called them stupid and village mentality, proceeded to pay and said never again would anyone from her Company patronize the place I looked on in awe The ride to the airport was one straight out the movies, Issa the driver was going down up roads, riding on pavements, dodging cars and to think we were in a twelve seater bus, him and I alone "Issa, what are you doing?" "I am getting you to the airport Madam" "Well there are so many police around, maybe we ought to ease up" "It is ok madam" So I buckled up for the ride Needless to say I made it to the airport with...

Fired up with the seeds of joy, there's a bacchanal to destroy - David Rudder I walked into the room and to my surprise, there were at least 1500 people there! Here I was thinking that this was a small gathering, oh nothing of the sort. While I was talking more people kept streaming in Global Entrepreneurship Week (GEW) is a growing event all over the world, the week celebrates entrepreneurs and their journeys by sharing stories, providing networking opportunities and celebrating their achievements I was up second, admittedly nervous. New crowd and new story in between all of the nerves I realized, I loved this, I loved being there on the stage sharing lessons on the journey, I loved hearing the questions and learning, I loved the buzz. That's it, this is the angle, this is where the passion lies. So I ended the talk, went to my hotel to check out, the bill has not been paid they told me I cannot leave until the Company settles it, I called the Company to find out what...

We have such an emphasis on what we want. What wealth we are creating. It is so massively self indulgent. But that success won’t ever fulfill us. It won’t ever create greatness. Oprah quoted MLK in this one that your greatness is determined by service. So, what is your measurement of success? What can you give…give…give… What’s your why that is bigger than you? Maxie McCoy Another hotel, another place. I checked, not checked in to, 3 hotels before I decided on this one, it's funny, now a standard for hotels is WiFi! The planning for my visit here is different to what I would have done but hey it is what it is,  they do things in their own way.I have a clean room for the night, I have WiFi and as they say home "my belly full up" it is so much more than what so many people have - I am grateful On to Masindi town tomorrow a three hour drive - with no jam, we leave at the crack of dawn I like the drive to Masindi, the countryside, the women riding their bikes with...

Until I stop being in solution mode and just relish in the present moments of my day to day life — they’re neither good nor bad. Literally, in an exact moment, everything just is. Is perfect. Is as it should be. Only when our mind wanders to past and future do things get out of whack. Maxie Mc Coy The new facility is world class, the production area, the office, the board room. And to think we were in a cramped area with dust and mites and sometimes the occasional mice popping up to visit - all too often for my liking. We packed bags on the floor Those days are done I had some anxiety today I must admit, I was supposed to come in and solve problems in a week that were around for the last two years, I thought "hello, I can only do what I can do, there is no magic wand" I relaxed into it and told myself just do your best in the moment and leave the rest I went from the hotel to the factory and back No time to see anything yet but trust me I will make some time I...